Dana Defugny

Move over, Hedwig — it’s time for Dana and the Angry Twelve Inches.

Honey. HONEY. That pattern is as busy as the fugly rug on which you’re standing, and it makes you legs look so very disproportionately wee. Why is that extra foot of fabric tacked onto the bottom? Why? It looks like the makers of Space Invaders created a sequel about the Eiffel Tower.

Imagine the dress without it — try to pretend it stops where that swatch starts. It’d be about knee-length. We’d see some leg. She’d look taller. Truthfully, there’s no denying that the entire thing is very “It was a Chico’s kind of day,” but without the bottom piece, it would be MARGINALLY better — say, a Chico’s kind of hour, or maybe a Chico’s kind of brunch.