Daytime Emmy Fug Press Room: Jack Wagner

Jun 23, 2008 By Jessica AT 1:24 pm

When I first saw this picture, I said, “ooh, Jack Wagner!” Then I took a closer look and said, “OH. JACK WAGNER.”

A velvet jacket? A quasi-mullet, blown out to womanly perfection? What looks like potentially (and ALLEGEDLY) excessive Botoxery? Let’s go to the close-up:

Oh, Jack. You have such delicious genetics. Your head deserves better than this hair, and frankly, I am surprised that Heather Locklear didn’t say anything about that when you left the house. Are you sure she hasn’t turned against you? She might be plotting something nefarious — blackmail, framing you for murder, locking you in a mental institution against your will and accidentally giving you an unnecessary lobotomy? — and allowing you to roam free looking like you’re aiming to wrestle the title of Celebrity Flowbie Spokesmodel from Tom Cruise.

Fug file: Awards & Galas, Man Fugs, , , ,
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