Dr Fug

I’m not entirely familiar with British actress Camille Coduri, other than knowing that she was on Dr Who and also appeared on a BBC adaptation of Tom Jones that I totally saw because I watch anything that involves British accents and petticoats.

I am, however, very familiar with her polka-dotted, lace-trimmed bicycle shorts, as I believe they made several appearances on Jennie Garth during the early years of 90210: Original Flavor. Those bike shorts have seen heartbreak, drug addition, crappy parenting, eating disorders, abusive boyfriends, Luke Perry’s pompadour, and multiple Brenda Walsh hissyfits, most of which were totally deserved, like, hello, just because she was in France doesn’t mean her boyfriend is up for grabs. God. Anyway, the point is that they’ve been through a LOT. And now, the red carpet. Truly, those bike shorts are heroic. They’re survivors. They can not be thrown out or given away to the needy. (The needy don’t want them.) They can not be ignored. They will — and have! — endured. I propose the Lifetime Movie Network consider acquiring the television movie I just wrote about them, Can’t Stop The Biking: Not Without Your Kneecaps: The Kelly Taylor’s Lace-Trimmed Bike Shorts Story: Featuring Those Old Bike Shorts Kelly Taylor Used To Wear Under Her Babydoll Dresses and Also, That One Awful Time, With a Cropped Top. I’m sure Tori Spelling is available.