Dude, Where’s My Fug?

I cut Ashton Kutcher a lot of slack for several reasons:

1. He hot
2. He kindly sort of removed himself from the public eye after marrying Demi Moore.
3. I really enjoyed when Justin Timberlake hosted SNL, and they did a parody of Punk’d and he just leapt around screaming “I’M ASHTON KUTCHER. I’M AWESOME!” and if Ashton Kutcher had never existed, I never would have been able to enjoy that.
4. Some episodes of Punk’d are really kind of funny
5. What else is really funny is Dude, Where’s My Car? No, it really actually is.  The “Dude, what’s written on my back?”/”SWEET. What’s written on my back?”/ “DUDE. WHAT’S WRITTEN ON MY BACK?”/ “SWEEEEEEEEET. WHAT IS WRITTEN ON MY BAAAAAAACK?” scene is so genius. I am not joking.

But oy:

Just don’t.

The tragedy, of course, is that he was wearing this on MTV earlier, sans sports coat, and he looked totally cute:

Sweet pea, all you had to do was TRADE the sports coat for the cardi, not ADD it on. SO CLOSE.