It’s at least good for business that January Jones always tries to use the red carpet to make A Big Statement, because fortunately for us, her statements all come out in pure Gibberish.

Unfortunately, I forgot to plug in my translator last night. I’m getting SOMETHING about a hostage drama, gaffer’s tape, Bed Bath and Beyond, a ballet, an evil doppelganger, and the phrase, “Sorry, but it’s not going to be done in time.” What could it all mean?

[Photo: Getty]