Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Thomas Jane and Patricia Arquette


PATRICIA ARQUETTE: I maybe should have gone up a size on my bodice.

THOMAS JANE: What are you talking about it? I LOVE IT. Your cups OVERFLOWETH.

PATRICIA: Yeah. I know. It’s totally uncomfortable. My nipple is seriously about to make a run for it and I haven’t taken a full breath since 11 a.m.

THOMAS: So?

PATRICIA: So I might PASS OUT, buddy. This top is literally cutting into me.

THOMAS: HOT.

PATRICIA: You’re so unhelpful.

THOMAS: WRONG. I am awesome. Did you see me on the red carpet?

PATRICIA: I didn’t think that was awesome. I felt really awkward. Couldn’t you tell from my body language? I was all, like, “Dude, what are you doing? Please get up.”

THOMAS: No. I thought your body language was saying, “I’m super stoked I decided not to divorce this awesome dude.”

PATRICIA: No.

THOMAS: Oh.

PATRICIA: Whatever. I don’t know what I expected from a man in a velvet suit on the hottest day of the year.

THOMAS: Let’s just find the bar.

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