I remember once reading an article about Eva Longoria and Tony Parker wherein she implied the two of them had a pretty close relationship with Spurs coach Gregg Popovich. Now that she’s dating Mark Sanchez, I enjoy imagining that she Skypes with him to discuss her day and her outfits, and Jets coach Rex Ryan ducks in and says, “Eva, we need Mark to focus on throwing the ball more than 100 yards per game. Wear the white one, have a nice night, and now let’s all hang up and go get a goddamn snack.”
It would be bad fashion advice, of course: This dress looks stale and moth-eaten, like a molting dead swan melted into a role of Brawny paper towels and then found its way onto a Project Runway work table. But, the part about going to get a snack would be good, so… she’d break even on that chat.
[Photo: Getty]
Comments (30):
It looks like she stole a bunch of shammies from the local car wash and made a dress. NOT GOOD. Also not good? Rex Ryan. Bleah. (But that clip was FUNNY.)
Not a huge Eva fan, but SHE IS TINY! This dress does her no favors – SHE LOOKS TWICE AS BROAD AS SHE SHOULD! Plus – she’s molting.
Like…is it unzipped in the back, or what? It looks way too big and untailored in the midsection. Not a good look.
For the love of God, GFY, I’ve noted in the comments several times now that your site goes to a porn site when I click on comments the first time. Based in UK. Please sort it out. And yes Eva’s dress is vile.
I’m sorry to hear that; please don’t be too exasperated with us. We have literally no way of knowing that until someone tells us, not being in the UK. We are clearly not trying to send you to porn sites.
In the future, however, as always, PLEASE EMAIL US with problems like this. We can then forward your email to our tech people, so they can figure out and solve the problem. We do not always see every single comment on the site; there are just two of us, and there are several thousand of you.
Thanks.
I’ve seen this too (I’m in the UK). The dodgy website is called “local sl@gs” and I occasionally get sent to it by GFY. It doesn’t happen in response to any particular trigger. Good luck sorting it out!
The things they’re doing with Charmin these days!
She looks like Kim Kardashian wearing Kanye Kollection.
I never thought of using the rug in my bathroom as a dress. Clearly, I’m not creative enough to be a dress designer.
The cut is so unflattering, she looks extremely top heavy, not in a good way.
She is so tiny and has such a great figure, this dress is so terrible! I kind of like the idea of a soft white dress, but the knit is so bulky and it isn’t fitted to her waist at all. She’s still beautiful, though, even an ugly dress can’t hide that!
Is it just cause I’m slightly drunk, or does her face not look like her AT ALL in this photo? Is it just because of the different hair? ( It took me five times to find the question mark on my keyboard, so it might be the alcohol after all)
LOL, Katie….And, it’s not because you may be drunk. This really doesn’t look like her to me either.
If we were playing Name That Celebrity, I would never have guessed Eva Longoria for this photo.
The dress is ridiculous.
It’s like she’s wearing a fat suit. Weird. I think without the fringy sleeves it would look a lot better, but it’s still a chenille bedspread of a dress and not in a good way.
YES. CHENILLE BEDSPREAD, from your grandma’s house in Florida, so it never seems to be entirely dry. Eek.
Yes. Grandma’s Florida Chenille Bedspread. You have discovered the most excellent way possible to describe that dress.
It’s molting. It’s an Ode to Dryer Lint.
It’s what happens if you put the fluffy crocheted toilet paper roll cover in the wash without removing the toilet paper first.
There are….actual…PUSTULES in that photo.
Ugh!!!!! I never like what she wears, but taking an old stuffed duvet cover and wearing it, it’s not going to change my mind! Eeeewwww!!!
At first I though, maybe, if you just took off the molting feather shoulder duster things, it might okay. But then I realized if you did that, it would still look like the dress is not zipped in the back. This is a very weird dress. I think conceptually it could work if you fixed the unzipped-tailoring-problem, and hacked off the shoulder feather dusters, and made it a different color — like maybe navy blue? But as it is? Horrifying.
And Eva herself is not looking so great in this picture. Have a nice nap, Eva, and then a really good sandwich with some champagne, and then take a shower and start over with a new dress. You’ll feel better.
Not so good.
what a hideous dress – looks like the dog chewed it or something equally horrible! Sack the stylist – how could they possibly suggest you wear that?? xxx
Monumentally awful, this is one for the books. The worst I’ve ever seen her.
Eeep! It looks like it’s made out of my Granny’s chenille bedspread.
This looks like a swan . . . or something. Unflattering.
I would just assume that she has many cats that destroy her pillows and she’s opposed to wasting fabric.
Man, that is one FAB ewe costume! I guess Mark will go as a shepherd?
Whoa! It looks like this dress attacked her and tried to eat her but it only got her torso!