(6) CARRIE UNDERWOOD vs. (11) FABIOLA BERACASA
Whenever we see a celeb wearing giant sleeves, I often wonder what they’ve got up them; in Carrie’s case, it was a high Fug Madness seeding that was secreted up this billowing white arm-bugle:
At the time, I wondered whether Carrie was keeping Sleeve on a leash, or vice-versa. Almost a year later, I still have no answers. Only questions. And confusion. My brow is like, “SLOW DOWN, Underwood, you could grate cheese on my furrows.”
And yet, Carrie’s Bring Your Arm To Work Day matchy-matchy white nonsense is being met bravely by some resplendently nutty offerings from socialite Fabiola Beracasa:
I MEAN REALLY. If they made a new Dallas but based on matadors and their families, Fabiola already owns the Sue Ellen costume.
Maybe Carrie could play Lucy Ewing. She’s wee, she’s blonde…
… and she could piss off the family by announcing her intention to reject the matador way and become the first human to go into space while WEARING the actual rocket.
Which of course would send Fabiola’s character into a cave of grief.
And that’s when the drinking would start, and as we all know, excessive consumption of alcohol invariably leads to raining unraveled garters from one’s crotch and forgetting to shave past the ankle bone. Seriously, forget boring Tinsley Mortimer — give THIS woman a reality show.
2) KATY PERRY vs. (15) RUMER WILLIS
In about a year, I went from not being particularly amused or impressed by Rumer Willis, to hoping the kid pulls through in her acting career. She’s fairly natural on 90210, and she’s growing into her style a little bit.
“A little” being the operative words, because although since last year’s Fug Madness Rumer has learned to wear strapless tops that don’t fall down, she’s still had her share of awkward moments.
I don’t know what board game that dress used to be, but I think it involved serpents, and I’m afraid it ends with the loser having to drink green beer out of Spencer Pratt’s clavicle.
And of course, nothing is so charming as dressing like you are the chambermaid and part-time sex slave of a very rich tobacco executive.
Katy Perry also struggles with her taste in prints. Like, I can’t even talk about this. And then there’s THIS:
[Photo: Splash News]
I don’t know why, but I think this is what cats see when they dream.
As for this…
[Photo: Splash News]
… hell, I’m surprised Rumer Willis didn’t wear it, too.
(3) DREW BARRYMORE vs. (14) PAMELA ANDERSON
In some ways, Whip It! might be the worst thing ever to happen to Drew Barrymore. Because for one thing, it was not good. At all. It may have been awful. It took a very interesting universe and made it kind of boring and predictable and tiresome. Which might not be Drew’s fault — she didn’t write it, after all. But it also inspired her to do this while promoting it:
[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]
NO. Your hair should not look like you used it to polish your shoes.
[Photo: Splash News]
And your spandex tube top and leggings should not… well, you know what? It stops there. Your spandex tube top and leggings should not. Period.
And then there’s Pammy. You might argue that nudity and loopyness are Pam’s trade, and that’s probably 95 percent true.
[Photo: Splash News]
But I didn’t realize turning one of her breasts into a sad little mammal was part of the deal.
Nor did I realize it all involved employing young children to carry your train, the better to show off how much of your crotch and buttock the dress reveals. I can’t tell if that child is frightened, amused, or mentally composing a letter to Child Protective Services.
(7) JULIETTE LEWIS vs. (10) NICOLE KIDMAN
[Photo: WENN.com]
[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]
Comments (404):
This one was so much easier. Drew was really trying but the terrified child in Pam’s sealed the deal. The rest weren’t even close.
Wow, I thought the Rumer/Katie contest would be much closer. Pam Anderson could be a serious contender this year.
I nearly voted for Drew because I kind of think Pam is just a nutball. But I’d forgotten about the child holding the dress train. Although the little girl’s dress is pretty.
Pam loses points for not only wearing bad clothes, but also being kind of too old to try.
CARRIE VS. FABIOLA: Carrie just needs a few tweaks on (most of) her outfits. But there is no reason to kill a muppet for shoes, Fabiola. Beracasa FTW.
KATY VS. RUMER: Katy Perry is too pretty to be dressing like a crazy person, and when she gets it right, she looks fantastic. Which makes the times she gets in wrong…..ew. The vote goes to Perry.
DREW VS. PAM: This one was really hard for me (harder than the Simpson vs. Simpson match up in the Our Lady Charo play in game). I gave it to Drew because, while they both dress horribly, people take Drew seriously because she has the skilz. One vote for Drew. Love you, though!
JULIETTE VS. NICOLE: Of course Imma vote for Juliette! Because I want to see her and Gaga go head to head. I am squee-ing myself to death over here wishing for that. Oh, please make it happen, FugGods, even if it will make my head explode!!!
Team FABIOLA! she thinks she is (was?) KARL L’s muse, as you can all clearly see
Did Nicole Kidman get implants? Man, those things look awfully fake. Why? Such a beautiful and talented woman. Wish she would go the way of Streep and allow herself to age naturally.
Wow, Fug Madness is bringing to life so many critical issues…. the most pressing of which is how much I yearn to reveal the true essence of Fug once and for all. How to define Fug for future generations? Is the glam-puss who is oblivious to his/her own cray-cray fugness the fuggiest or is the “star” who reeks most of sleazy (or otherwise) desperation more deserving of my votes. Fortunately, it’s an entertaining and cramazing connundrum we are unlikely to solve any time soon.
Agree with Anika re Drew and Pam…Drew is a mess but that poor little girl! Think of the children! I also thought Rumer would put up a better fight but Heather’s right, she’s improved drastically since the days of the slouch and the falling-off strapless dresses and such.
Drew FTW, because at least her fug has fun in it. Pam is pretty much just replaying the same outfit again and again – there’s no creativity in it.
Although Juliette Lewis chooses horrible outfits that are simply bonkers, Nicole Kidman chooses weirdly fitting expensive clothes that are very unflattering on her amazonian frame… To me that’s the crazier of the two.
I really don’t think concert shots should be part of the fug – after all, it’s a costume.
Fug is when they are “in public” – not on stage.
I think Drew will catch up to Pammy. She knows better, and Pammy doesn’t.
On a side note, I hate to speak ill of wee ones, but I think the little girl holding Pam’s dress has the beginnings of the dreaded shredded tights syndrome? Either that, or she’s just a typical little girl who can’t help tearing her hose. I’m just saying that maybe Pam is a gateway drug and we should all warn our daughters…..
You have to give it to Drew, since Pammy doesn’t actually wear clothes.
so yesterday this guy at my work hands me a march madness bracket to fill out. i had never seen one before (not a big sports fan) and i had to bite my tongue not to say, “why it looks JUST LIKE the fug madness bracket!!!!”
because of course, fug madness is the madness against which to judge all other madnesses.
and team fabiola!
That picture of Juilette Lewis as an alien rollerblading bride kills me everytime! For me she reigns supreme as Queen of Crazytown, Gaga just doesn’t have her edge!
I thought most of them were no contest until I got to Juliette and Nicole. Yes, Juliette wears crazier outfits, but she’s also a performer and I give them a little more leeway. Nicole should be looking gorgeous at these events and is no way performing there, so that gives her no excuse. My vote goes to Nicole.
For some reason, I momentarily drew a blank on Fabiola (even the name is AWESOME). Then I looked her up and remembered: aha, she’s the one who has a thing about muppet fur/ankle adornment. That is some serious crazy. Vines crawling up your legs! Fur ankles! Pants so high-waisted, they make you look you have some sort of torso-stumpifying disease! Stirrup dance tights (Capezio suntan, perhaps)! And she can’t call this an accident or that she just didn’t have time, like musicians or actresses and stuff who have more important things to do than check their outfits before they walk out the door, because they are thinking about CREATING. A socialite’s major job is to dress up and go to stuff and get her picture taken. Therefore, I must conclude that Fabby’s been drinking from the Bai Ling fountain of major Fug and has gained eternal fugness. That we should all find the similar Sigorny Weaver fountain that would make us all hot-looking beyond the age of 40.
well i nailed 3/4…the only one i was feeling differently than the rest of fug nation was with carrie underwood…she was fuglier to me since she always looks like she believes she is wearing the most flattering stunning outfits and yet they are always slightly off…yeesh gold lamee hotpants people…did you all forget? guess pop star country classy is fuglier to me than socialite hipster couture costumes
Carrie just needs to shift her attempts at creativity a notch to the right, but I find her overall choices largely inoffensive.
Fabiola looks like the front half of a Goth centaur barmaid in that photo. For that, she wins.
Fabiola, Drew, J.Lew. Poor Nicole Kidman had NO chance this round, and we -all- knew it.
“Fug is when they are “in public” – not on stage.”
Fug is a conscious choice to wear something bat-shiat cray-cray no matter WHERE it is.
While Drew had some missteps this year, she also had lots of really good hits, so I voted for Pammy. Plus, the little girl in Pam’s photo looks terrified.
Ok, I really liked Whip It! yeah, the plot’s a bit predictable, OK REALLY predictable, but c’mon, Smashley Simpson? HIgh larious!
First off, Rumer is now officially fab in my books!
But more importantly, PELIJENN, I love you!
Damn straight, Juliette Lewis!! I really hope she goes far this year. Adore her!
This being a hugely beloved internationally followed tournament, I don’t agree with including contestants who are only known by Americans because they are not famous for anything other than being the daughter of someone rich. Sure, if they are huge like Paris Hilton(ick), who had her own show, but who the *h* is Fabiola Bercascatoon?
No one overseas knows, that’s who.
Pam Anderson almost deserves to leap ahead a round or two for involving innocent children in her fug.
And on a side note, is it just me or is Nicole Kidman attempting to become her own Madame Tussaud’s figure? Just wondering.
I want Nicole’s red dress, it’s super pretty and most women would look great in it. Too bad she ruined it with the boob thing.
As someone who has been raised in the same general area as Pam’s hometown, I’m so beyond mortified in her appearance & the thought that people may think this is a generally accepted mode of dress on our laid back Island.
Which it is NOT.
That being said, that woman has never known how to dress and clearly forgets to put on actual clothes most days. No amount of Fug Madness is going to help this woman.
So, I’m choosing Drew because a) she has proven she knows how to dress, so WTF with her outfits this year? and b) her acceptance speeches this past awards season have annoyed the hell out of me.
Bad acceptance speeches + horrible clothing choices = Drew FTW
Carrie, like another user suggested, just needs a little help/ tweak on most of her outfits. Like they probably looked fab on the runway and didn’t translate correctly to the red carpet/stage. Fabiola is the thumbs down for me!
Katy vs Rumor:
Katy can wear the most outlandish things and still look good: the first is an exception though! Rumor has no street cred to back up her choices. They aren’t even artsy or avent garde – just plain fug. Sorry Rumor!
Man, Juliette is on her way to getting her own bracket, I think.
Man, Juliette is on her way to getting her own bracket, I think.
Vote goes to Drew because she looked so….UNIQUELY terrible this year. Pammy just fell into run of the mill sluttiness. Yawn.
I wait all year for fug madness. Thank you fug girls!
Nicole’s not even really trying in the fug contest. The black dress is just sort of dull and the red one would be truly lovely if it was not pinching her boobs. Whereas Juliette is, and always has been, completely insane.
Really, Juliet against Nicole? I don’t know that that was a fair race. Juliet against Katy Perry, but Nicole Kidman?? Not even in the same realm of fashion.
Poor Nicole, she had no chance in hell..
Also, I voted for Katy Perry.. But in all honesty I loved her Muppet dress.. Call me crazy but I thought it was cute!
“what a cat sees when it dreams”
My toddler caught me crying with laughter, and gave me a consolatory pat. She stopped watching Caillou to comfort me! This is what you’ve wrought!
Congratulations, you made Carrie look GOOD by pairing her against Fabiola (FTW.)
While Katy has her occasional frock pas, most of her crazy dressing is intentional where young Ms. Willis has a glorious fashion role model at home and chooses too tight, too short and the wrong color nearly 100% of the time. I have to disagree here – Rumer FTW.
I’m not sure how Pammy Lee made it this far as undressed does not generally qualify as badly dressed – though I completely understand that when she does don fabric-based clothing, it is generally inappropriate. Drew has way more hits than misses, so Pammy FTW.
Juliette, well, how can there be a question? FTW!
Respectfully submitted,
Lori Magno
Rumer vs. Katy was hard because Katy kind of pulls off her wacky fug. Rumer — no, just NO.
Obviously, I am one of the few who feels that way. Fabi, well there is no contest there. Pammy’s dried up, crusty fug in every conceivable way(fashion, grooming, person) makes her match-up an easy win for her with extra points for flaunting child labor laws. Kidman is weak sauce compared to the flaming hot salsa that is Juliet Lewis. Kidman never had a chance. Here’s hoping Juliet goes all the way. I love her fugged-up brand of batshit insanity.
I have to confess that I voted for Juliette Lewis because, while to me Nicole Kidman’s fug is more disappointing and therefore worse, I love the photos of JL’s outfits and just want to see more of them.
Fabiola, Katy, and holy cats, Pammy could take it! Dear Juliette, that picture brought back the hilarity of Freaky Fug Friday and how funny the entries were. She does the Fug proud!
i hate to vote for juliette for anything, even fug madness, because the idea of her winning, again, anything, makes me nuts. but lets be honest. nicole is pretty tame, comparably. so against my better judgment…
Easy, compared to the first round in the Cher brackets.
Carrie vs. Fabiola? Fabs, all the way. The hoof shoes put it over the top here.
Rumer vs Katy? Please. Katy dresses is either trying to look bad, or has the same sense of style that I did as a five year old. That is: “Ohhhhh, shiny! And all those colors are soooooo prettty!”
Drew vs Pam? Pam takes it in a walk. I mean, I love Drew. Love. Pam is what Boobs Legly wants to be when she grows up. And Pam’s gotten, I hate to say, a little too old to work the short-shorts. I’m not saying she looks bad for her age, or is ancient. Just that it may be time to move from short-shorts to … well, regular shorts.
Juliette vs Nicole? Duh.
So, Katy vs. Rumer – Katy Perry knows the outfits are crazy, and she owns it, she’s enjoying it, laughing with us. Rumer Willis – let’s call her no-humor Rumer – leaves the house THINKING SHE LOOKS GOOD. The girl stands in front of the mirror (no smiling, of course) and says “Yes, yes I am looking hot in the cancer stick dress with the strapless top which emphasizes my Jay Leno jawline.”
Truly, why don’t Pam Anderson and Juliette Lewis have their own brackets? This seems a travesty to me.
fabiola for the win.
Too easy.
Katy vs. Rumer was pretty much no contest for me once I saw that ridiculous pants suit. I couldn’t not vote for her.
Poor Nicole Kidman though, she really had no chance.
I am celebrating Drew’s joyful fug because honestly, I really don’t want to see more pictures of Pam. They kinda make me depressed.
UG, Pammy. But I voted for Drew anyway.
To: Pam Anderson
From: Earth
Dear Ms. Anderson,
It has come to our recent attention that you seem unclear on the meaning of the term “Hot Mess”. Perhaps you may benefit from some clarification of the term.
The presence of the modifier “Hot” in the term “Hot Mess” does not mean that (1) you are hot, (2) what you are wearing is hot, or (3) you should persist in the pursuit of either.
For further details on this matter, please see the enclosed (Attachment A, Courtney Love Photos; Attachment B, sample of Things That Are Not Clothes — shower curtains, bedsheets, DIY undies — and Attachment C, list of Places You Must Not Go Shopping for “Clothes” Again: Bed Bath & Beyond, Linens & Things, Build-a-Bear Workshop).
We trust that we will not need to contact you again.
Sincerely,
Earth
I didn’t realize how important I thought this was until I tried to rush through it quickly while short on time. I CAN’T DO THIS!!! My palms are sweaty; my heart is racing; and I’m pulling out my hair. This is only the Bjork bracket! By the end of this, I may out fug the winner with my Brit-esque bald patches and Lilo reminiscent crazy eyes!
Thank God it’s only once a year.
BTW- that wasn’t fair matching Pam and Drew together so early in the race. I needed time to work up to that one.
I hate Nichole K. with the white-hot fury of a thousand suns, but honsetly, against Juliette? I simply hate Katy Perry, too, and poor Rumor just needs direction, and has some fundamental beauty. Drew’s a sweet doll, despite the occasional Big Hair issues, and the photo of her quaffing a beer gives her huge points in my book, whereas Pam is (ahem) a one trick pony. Now, Carrie makes me puke with her white-white and pink-kitten bow and lace schtick, but up against Fugiola, itsa no contesto. So, Juliette, Pammie, Katy, and Miss Italy may pass go and collect $200. Pam can have it in quarters.
I just wanted to let you all know that I was torn between voting for Juliette and Nicole… I think Nicole really does look terrible MOST of the time and thus deserves to be fugged.
Juliette on the other hand looks AWESOME (CRAZY awesome) most of the time and therefor deserved props for being totally cool.
However I love Juliette more than Nicole and i wanted to see her progress in the Fug Madness.
Therefor I voted for her. Even though I LOVE her brand of crazy.
Thankyou for your time.
Holy cow, Drew looks insane. I forgot about those leggings.
So many things to say, but the one I must utter
How tight are Fabiola’s matador pants that they caused her head to inflate like that?
wow. i totally underestimated fabiola and my brackets will suffer for it. it’s murray state all over again.
I know some don’t consider her that bad, but Carrie Underwood is a total train wreck in my book. She tries so hard, and falls so short…I thought she would go farther in Fug Madness but it looks like she is going down in the first round. See you next year Carrie!
Oh, god. I think I missed this whole bracket. I AM going to have to cheat.
Wha…Fabiola…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhh!
Rumer Willis is gonna be great. Her fashion sense is going to go through the roof about the same time as she finds some hair that suits her. Looking forward to it. Katy has made it clear that she’s just not going to get it. (Offstage, I mean; onstage, FUN fug!)
Pammy is professionally trashy, but Drew is such a sad dresser. I like her lots as a person, but sartorially, FUG.
And now I’m getting cranky in my old age. Where is that rum delivery? Juliette is getting more fun, and Nicole…Good God, woman, you have the body of…of…where’s the rum? that is such a classically gorgeous body, and she can’t find anything wonderful to put on it? FUG.
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I’ve never heard of, uh, “Fabiola Beracasa” before just now but after looking at those two pictures, I think I hate her.
?µ§ly!
CARRIE UNDERWOOD v. FABIOLA BERACASA: Since Carrie is getting so thoroughly routed in this one, I thought I’d pitch in some supportive words and say that had she been up against practically anyone else in this bracket, she’d have run away with my vote. Carrie is great for wearing two or three hideous outfits to a single event. She’s very prolific. That said, I voted for Fabiola. Because who wouldn’t?
KATY PERRY v. RUMER WILLIS: I have a pronounced apathy bordering on distaste for both contestants. I voted for Katy because the outfits are crazier but in retrospect I wish I’d voted for Rumer because she always has this kind of sad aura of desperation and tension that speaks volumes more than any outfit could.
DREW BARRYMORE v. PAM ANDERSON: Not to start up an old tune, but the horrified child really did seal it for me in Pam’s favour.
JULIETTE LEWIS v. NICOLE KIDMAN: Not even a contest. Kudos for trying to persuade us in Nicole’s direction but once you get to that last photo, the effort is rendered moot. Lewis now and forever.
Fabiola Bercasa has a freakishly large head. It’s probably got its own weather pattern. Makes it hard to focus on the clothes, when her head is blotting out the sun.
I could not concentrate on any of Rumer’s outfits due to her potato shaped face. I just assumed her outfits were more fug than Katy’s and voted for her.
Apropos of not much, I think Kidman and Reese Witherspoon need to start a We Look Better When We’re Pregnant club.
Like many of you, I’ve kind of decided to ignore on-stage insanity, but people like Katy Perry and Juliette Lewis make it pretty tough since they are equally crazy off-stage.
I voted for Drew only because she surprises me when her clothes are fug. When Pamela Anderson wears fug, it’s not so surprising. I hardly notice. When did Baywatch first hit the air? She’s been at it for that long. It would be like feeling shocked at seeing Coco’s camel toe… Next.
I’m surprised that Pam is winning, because while the outfits featured here are bad, let’s not forget that Drew had a whole year of fug outfit after fug outfit, after fut outfit. So many in fact that I can’t remember the last time we could take Drew seriously.
ET doesn’t need to phone home, Drew does.
Can we have a sep category for ‘When good breasts go bad”? Exhibit A- N Kidman.
W
T
F
?
What are those things and slap me if she didn’t pay a whole bunch of money for them. In that dress she looks like something I do to a turkey’s breast at christmas. As a large bosomed person I cannot fathom why a woman would submit to surgery to get where I am, because I’d be happy to give up my seat in Bazookaville anytime. Girls, be happy with what you have because it’s never greener on the other side. Just look at that picture.
Aw. I liked Whip It. The soundtrack’s great. Then again, Maeby Bluth was in it and I am contractually obligated to at least watch everything any castmember is involved with. I’m a very busy person, let me tell you.
I was just looking back, and is it me, or does Rumer in the first photo and Rumer in the second photo look like two totally different people??
Dunno, maybe I’m tired and caffeine deprived, but R1′s eyes are way closer together than R2′s.
And yes, the horrified child in the P.And photo was very sad-making. Lol.
I actually liked one of Juliette Lewis’s, the black one. And how our Nic got onto this I don’t know. Both dresses are beautiful.
The thing is, Drew Barrymore had a fug year while Pam Anderson has a fug life. Drew might learn from this and turn from her scary bouffant-hairstyling ways, while Pam is defintely too old ever to change, and her fug-ness is old news. Drew can do better, so vote for her and shame her into change!
I love Drew! She’s rockin the 80s and so what if it was ages ago? She looks like she’s wearing these clothes because she likes them.
In all cases except egregious fabricated flops, I tend to vote for the people whose job is NOT to be outrageous and often onstage.
Like K. Perry is supposed to be foolish, but Rumor is actually trying (and failing). But in the case of J. Lewis and N. Kidman, I HAVE to vote for Lewis.
That Juliette Lewis number makes me laugh out loud every single time. Without fail. It’s a gift! Thank you Juliette.
“I don’t know why, but I think this is what cats see when they dream.”
Inspired.
I’ve made a terrible mistake in underestimating Juliette Lewis. I just don’t think Katy can take her on. BUT THE MUPPET DRESS might.
i think pam anderson is the original drunkface
It is hard for me to remember everything now but I can recall Pamela in pyjamas and Katy Perry wearing a flower carpet. I also remember Drew looking like an old lady and a bird with feathers on its feet. Great!
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Adding to my bookmarks cheers, please consider a follow up post.
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