Well, Carly Rae Jepsen really loves her some leather short shorts, doesn’t she? These are almost like leather BIKE shorts, a phrase that must never pass my lips — or my keyboard — again:
[Photo: WENN]
THE TASK: Imagine that Carly Rae is singing an Ode to Shorts now. Name that tune. (Literally: give us the title — and only the title – of a fictional song that’s an Ode to Shorts.)
THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on MONDAY.
THE PRIZE: We have three copies of the great new cookbook Classic Snacks Made From Scratch: 70 Homemade Versions of Your Favorite Brand-Name Treats. Per Amazon, “A cream-filled chocolate cupcake for dessert. Caramel popcorn while watching a movie. An ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day. What could be better than indulging in your favorite guilty pleasures? Having the fun and satisfaction of making them yourself with all-natural ingredients so they taste more delicious than the brand-name originals.”You know you want to know how to make Klondike Bars at home. And as someone who has sampled the homemade Cheezits from this very book, you NEED to be able to make them. They are awesome. This contest is open to all readers, so get to writing!
Comments (136):
ShorTs! Goes my heart.
Camel Toe Fever
Second Skin (Painted on my thighs)
I imagine some sort of overly serious power ballad, but with a hard innuendo edge.
Tonight, I’m Getting Over Pants
Wowzers, Nothing Beats Short Trousers
Ridin’ High.
“I Love My Leather Mom Shorts (So Pass the Gold Bond Powder)”
“I Love My Leather Mom Shorts (So Pass the Gold Bond Powder)”
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[I noticed my email was incorrect the first time I posted this and I don't want to miss out on my cookbook
Lederhosen Lullaby
It’s A Short Story
I’ll trade my shorts for a dream….
Bawdy Lawdy Shawties
Chorus of the Crotch Creases
Zipper Long, Inseam Short
(to the tune of River Deep, Mountain High)
Chafe Me Maybe
Call Me Chafey
Sweaty And I Know It
Nothin’ Beats the Breeze on My Knees
Pants with no legs.
To be hummed to the tune of Horse with No Name from America, as in…
I been on the stage with pants with no legs
It felt good to be so over exposed
Short’s Circuit
Call Me Yeasty
(I’ve Been) Micro Swayed
They’re the Very Yeast (I Could Wear)
I want to know why she wants to look like a prostitute.
“So Call Me Help Definitely”
lyrics
Hey I just bought these, and my vision was hazy. So find a tailor and call me help definitely!
3 times L: Leather Loin Love
Cut Offs, Cargos, Hot Pants & Capris
A Whitney Houston-Shorts Mashup Tribute:
The Greatest Length of All (Is Way Above My Knee)
Saving All My Fabric
I Get Shorts-Emotional
I Wanna Dance With Some Legs Out
Scooter gang breakup; AKA 28 going on 13
Shorts, I’ve Got the Runs for You
by My Tights
Riding Thigh on Our Love
Hit Me, Wedgie, One More Time
Oh the possibilities….
Black Shorts, White Yeast & Wails
Girl on Fire (Blame the Shorts)
I Don’t Know How to Love These
I Knew You Got Waxed When You Walked In
She Walks These Hills in a Long Black Vaginal Epidermis: A Misguided Tribute to Johnny Cash
hahaha I almost choked
“Carly Caged Her Thighs In Calfskin” (a la “Lucy in the Skies with Diamonds”)
“because i got high (rise leather shorts)”
Slow Ride (Up My Legs)
Walls of labi-a
If You’re Yeasty and You Know It, Clench Your Fists
Oh Say Can You See (How Tight These Are on Me)
I Dreamed a Dream of Pants Gone By
That’s What Gives You Polterwang
No Pants
Leather and Lube
Thigh Fidelity
Can You Feel My Heat Tonight?
Sunshine on my Upper Thighs
Shrunken Cowhide Saddlesore Blues
This Crotch Is On Fire
Not too tight (or that sweat ain’t the good kind)
Fifty ways to wear your leather… (check out my crack, Jack) – Simon and Garfungus.
or
(I’m so itchy, from my shorts so tiny; here’s the number) CALL MY GYNAE!
(Your Seam Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher
Flirtin’ with Disaster (And Crotch Itch)
Shine on Hide-Clad Moon
Cut Off [But I Left the Pockets]
Paste Pants (Friends shoutout!)
Candida, Maybe?
Call These Pants? Maybe!
I Would Do Anything for Fug (So I Wore Leather Mom Shorts)
Shorts in High Places
Fuggin’ in Some Shorts
I’ll Be Bare For You
“We’re Never Ever Wearing Shorts Again”
Leggings Are Not Pants (Shorts Are Love)
My Humps (Are Sweaty)
My (P)leather Shorts Collection (Inevitable Yeast Infections)
I’ve got a shorts longing.
Shorts (Never last for long)
Shot through with runs, and shorts too tight (you give “pants” a bad name)
(Everyone’s crazy ’bout a) Shorts Dressed Gal
Semi-Charmed Thighs
Shorts Need a Hero
The Ballad of Zoey Hart
A Brief Love ( in Leather)
“My crotch won’t sweat without you”
“I like my pants shorter than my bangs”
Oh my, thighs
Chafe shack, Baby!
Let My Shorts Open the Door (To My Crotch)
Last Train to Crotchsville
Shortfall
One way ticket to Leg City
Gimme some bun huggin’
No Room in my Shorts for You
“Crotch Cradle Bingo”
Call Me Chaffed-y
Control Top Lorts
“I Love a Swampy Crack”
“Talk Chafing to Me”
“Swamp Ass Fever”
Call me chafe-y
Winter of Sorrow, Summer of Freedom
I love 60′s music, so:
“The House Of The Rising Wedgie”
“These Shorts Ain’t Made For Walkin”
“In Short, I Love You”
I’ve Crazies for Daisies!
‘I’m a Never-Nude For You’
Mooooon Coverage
“When I Look Into Pants (All I See Are Shorts)”
Super Fish Kids
Tug of Sore
Please release me, let me breathe
“Never can pleather get better than leather.”
The country classic, “Come Sit On My Lap (Cuz My Knees Are Cold)”
the less you’re pants the more I love you
or
when you freed my thighs you freed my heart
“My Bermuda Boyshorts”
“Hot Pants Hot Dance”
“Cutie in the Culottes”
Knees in the Breeze
Style guide to perpetual teendom (I’m actually 27)
These Shorts Kinda (Cover My Vagina)
Call Me Wedgie
The Not-So-Long Song
Call Me, Briefly
I’m No Lady Tonight
Call Me Labia
High & Tight
The George Jones classic, “She Stopped Lovin’ Her Thighs Today”
Or how about the Aretha Franklin anthem “F-U-G-G-I-N-G (That’s What These Shorts Do To Me)”
Or maybe Tag Team said it best with “Whoomp! (These Are Bad)”
Leg Sausage…we like them tight
“No Matter the Weather, Rock Shorts of Tight Leather”
“The Lotion and Powder Have Made a Paste”
Supercalifragilisticforgodssakegetmesomevagisil
I got a 2-inch inseam on my mind
Wait, I thought these were the inspiration for “Call Me Maybe.” No?
…and Carly Rae closed with the classic ABBA number, “Snugger Fugger.”
Check My Ass, I Have No Class
“Slit Shorts”
“Short People”
“Forever in Short Shorts”
“You Can Leave Your Shorts On”
We Are Never Ever Wearing Pants in Leather
trousers. maybe. (sung to the tune of That Song.)
Shorts Will Never Do (Without Shredded Tights)
Shorties, you look wonderfull tonight (on the eric clapton soundrack)
Call me, Monistat
Careless Shorts
It’s Always Short Shorts Time
(feat. Owl City)
Constant Chafing
Sweet Thighs O’ Mine
Stuck in a Garment I Can’t Get Out Of
Thigh Ho
Tonight I’m chafing you
Don’t Stop Yeastin’
Like a G-String
Uncomfortably Numb
Call Me Wedgie
(From her upcoming Beatles tribute album) “You (Ain’t) Got to Hide Your Thighs Away”
High’n'Tight (Ain’t Just for Night)
Shorts Show Off (My Hot Love Spot)