Well, what do YOU wear bowling?!
THE SITUATION: No, seriously. Kim Kardashian is seriously wearing this bowling. All I know is, I hope she has socks in her bag.
THE TASK: Given our awesome prize this week — more on that below — and the fact that Kim Kardashian a) clearly believes herself to be the star of a Great Romance, given the Dramatic Trappings of her insanely over-the-top wedding and b) she’s wearing pants a pirate would feel comfortable sporting whilst out trolling for wenches, paired with a shirt that appears to involve crinoline, please provide us with the title of the romance novel she is probably currently writing about herself. You KNOW this book is coming, you guys. Don’t be in denial.
THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Sunday.
THE PRIZE: This is a good one! Sarah Wendell, of Smart Bitches, Trashy Books (one of our favorite sites) has penned Everything I Know About Love, I Learned From Romance Novels. Amazon says, “Take a dashing hero with a heart of gold and a mullet of awesome. Add a heroine with a bustle and the will to kick major butt. Then include enough contrivances to keep them fighting while getting them alone and possibly without key pieces of clothing, and what do you have? A romance novel…Straight from the heart of influential romance blogger Sarah Wendell, this inventive gift book provides the best wisdom about love that the romance genre has to offer.” Having read it, I can tell you that the book is totally cheeky and charming and I think you will like it, especially if you’re a fan of Ye Olde Bodice Ripper (who isn’t?). Five of you (five!) with the best entries will win a copy! So get to work.
Comments (176):
“Marriage of Konvenience”
Leather, Louboutins and Lashes
Leather & Lace: A Pirate’s Romance
Kim “The Dud” Lebowski
Booty Being
Demimondaine Derriere
Jumpsuits and Camera Crews: An Unlikely Love Story
“Bodice Ripped: A sordid look at life after the media prostitution of a celebrity wedding”.
“The Rear-End of Innocence” (a cheeky romp through the classics)
“The Kaptain’s Forbidden Pirate Miss(take)”
“The Bowling Booty: The Tale of Strikes, Balls and Loubs.”
Kardashian Passion
Or alternatively, The Passion of the Kardashian
The Karibbean Korsair’s Kourtesan: Kourting Kamille
My So Kalled LifeLeathered UpKissed By A Kardashian
Konquered by the Pirate’s Passion
Fifteen Minute Flame
Katch-22: How I Kaptured the Hearts of Twenty-Two Men
The Booty Lover’s Armenian Beauty
Plunder Me, Bukkaneer!
Yo, Ho, Blow the Man Down
Walking His Plank
Mistress of the High Seas (Book One: Quest for Booty)
Ahor, Ye Mateys!
He Loves Me Knot: the True Story between Me and My Kredit Kard
S.S. Kaptive Booty: Bowled Over On The High Seas Of Love
Overexposure of the Righteous Minx
or
The Paparazzo’s Fervid Viktim
The Vixen in the Mirror.
(’cause seriously, who she’s in love with is herself.
“No Photos Please *I’m lying. I want you to take my photo*” – The Kim Kardashian story
*please note no mention of her 2nd “marriage”.
My Diamond Derriere: How to bowl a perfect game in Hollywood.
Keeping It Up on the Seven Seas: Raising the Jolly Roger
Thar She Bowls: Kaptain Fanny’s Lucky Strike
Me: A love story.
@Shawnie, LOL! I love it!
I’m Stuck in These Pants, But Not in This Marriage: Volume 1 of K
The Dread Widow Roberts, Book One: The Unbreakable Gold Love Campaigns
Kan’t Bowl Me Love
Love For Sale (along with lots of other stuff including Dignity and Morals! Call now!): Kim Kardashian’s Historic Romance with Herself
Held Kaptive:
The Skandalous Tale of a Kaptain’s Wife
Pride and Plastic
A Booty-Full Love
The title I’ve come up with so far have been way lame, but wanted to pipe in and say that I have a copy of the book and it’s great fun.
A pirate autobiography “I’d Surrender The Booty, But It Would Take Two Trips.”
Booty Calls: The [ Surgery-Free! ] Siren of the Karibbean
Kaptain Kim: A Pirate’s Pleasure for the 4 C’s
OR, in homage to the K sister’s cries of booty foul play…
Booty Calls: The Siren Songs of the Silicone Sisters
Karibbean Kueen of a Dead Man’s Chest
(with her height she only goes chest level right?)
Booty: A kollection of Kim Kardashian Konquests on the High Seas
Kim’s Kardashian Into Your Arms
The Demimondaine’s Dark Denim Surprise or Honey, that’s Pleather
@cassy salyer I’d read that book
Jolly Roger, Ray-J and Reggie … My Life in the Gutter
Love’s Shallow Spotlight
or
The Pirates of Painted-on-pants
Thirteen Things to Plan When Trying to Land a Kardashian
Who Kares?
The Khronicles of Kim: Konquering Kris for the Kameras
Kween Katface of Denial
or
The King’s Kourtesan – A Bootylicious Tale
Kim & Kris: Our Love is E!ternal….
From the Runway to the Plank – Walk Like a Kardashian
The Basketball Player’s Fake Socialite Bride
Shiver Me Buttocks – The World’s Love Affair With My Ass(ets)
Kaptain Kris’ Woman
Leather Bound for Lusty Love: The Reluctant Pin Monkey
Love in the Time of Kholera
Taming The Kardashian Booty
Black Booty: A Khol-ed Up Wench’s Quest to Find the Pirate of Her Dreams By Balancing Her Booty & Her Booty.
Booty (treasure) & Booty (butt)…
Arr! Not Without Me Flash Mob: The Empleatheration of Kaptain Kim (based upon the E! True Hollywood Story of One Wench’s Love Affair With Her Own Reflection)
Pirates of the Karibbean: The Kurse of the Bowling Ball
Plundering Depths
Kourageous Kim, the Brave, Buxom, and Bootyful Buccaneer!
I Will Never Be as Fierce as Posh Spice: The Kim Kardashian Story
‘Dash with the Wind (Or I Can’t Go All My Life Waiting to Catch You Between Husbands)
The Armenian Billionaire’s Inconvenient Bowling Pants
The Armenian Arm-Candy’s Slam Dunk
A Kollection of Kris(es)
These are awesome!
I’d like to put in a vote for Dana”s (“Marriage of Konvenience”)
and Shawna’s (Thar She Bowls: Kaptain Fanny’s Lucky Strike)
B/c they both made me lol
Myself: A Love Story
A pastiche of Woodiwiss titles (with a touch of Lifetime movies):
“The Fame and the Flower: Kome Love a Kardashian”
The Khronicles of Kim: Kaught Between Krises
In this book – Part 2 of The Khornicles of Kim – our heroine is torn between the man kandy she so desires, and the mother “guiding” her “kareer”. Will true kamera love be torn asunder by a domineering momager? Will Kim kontinue to squeeze herself into klothes two sizes too small? Has Kim learned to stop mouth-breathing? And what about her biological klock…..? Find out in The Khronicles of Kim: Kaught Between Krises?
Two Thumbs Up!!!
A vote for Abby’s “Ahor, Ye Mateys!”
When Asses Kollide – A True Tale of Obsession With Myself (Bible!)
Love, Lies, and the Paparazzi.
or
The Armenian’s Reluctant Bridegroom.
Kandi, Krises and Kisses: A Romance Novel by Kim Kardashian
The Bowling Magnate’s Pirate Princess.
Love, Leather and Ludicrious Lingerie.
Bowling for Camera Time
Kursed: The Most Beautiful Sister
Back Stabby Celebutardes Volume 1
H8Rs H8: But True Love is 4eva
Wow. A vote each for Paige (Kim & Kris: Our Love is E!ternal) and cstiddy (Who Kares?) b/c both made me laugh out and I’m at work. I can’t come up with a title b/c I can’t get past the fact that she actually wore a $3000 pair of shoes to go bowling. It’s a sign of the decline of modern civilization.
Black Widow Bowling
He tried to come between her and her mirror
Not Without My Make-Up: E!-Love Never Dies
HARRRRRRLot
“A Striking Lady” by Kim.
The Heirem’s Bosom Overfloweth… her size 2 corset
Pirate’s Booty Kall
Kardinal Sin: How One Woman’s Obsession with Passion, Fashion, and Players Left her Dead Behind her Eyelashes.
Too Much Booty Can Sink Your Vessel.
Learn how to throw unwanted kargo overboard and lighten your load.
Gone with the Buccaneers
Kardashian’s of the Caribbean
My, my,my..the title of Kim Kardashian book would be “Me and My Boo-tay”
I have to say, angela, I think yours is the funniest!!!
“Shiver Me Buttocks – The World’s Love Affair With My Ass(ets)”
Fuggin’ Kim: The Gay Baller’s Dominatrix “Beard”
Treasure Chests & Fame Quests: A Girl’s Rise to Hollywood’s Apex* (thinly disguised memoir)
(*: “wait, what’s an apex?”)
I think Tara really climbed inside Kim’s mind with that submission!
The Kardashian Affair: I Left my Whip in San Francisco
The Bowling Buccaneer´s Bride: Sausage-pants and kisses in the moonlight ♥
[how extraordinarily convenient to have a bowling bag to carry the booty around...]
Everything I Know About Love I Learned From a Black American Express Card, with a special dedication to Kim Kardashian, by Kim Kardashian
“Thighs and Whispers: A Love Almost Too Big to Handle”
Kaptive Love: The pants that bind me.
Behind this badonkadonk
The Kastaway & the Kaptain: Marooned on Love Island
or
Kim Kardashian’s Worth Any Price
The Story Behind the Booty
My Butt is Real and I have the Xrays to Prove It!
If you want me to go away, purchase and read this book.
The Curse of Perfection
Kaptain & Kanielle: Love and Booty Will Keep Us Together
Harlequin Lanes: The Pirate Kingpin’s Mistress
Karats and Kameras: A Kardashian Kourtship
Kim Kardashian: A kronicle of kourtship, konsuming desisire, and coupling with… what’s his name?
Karnal Knowledge
The face that sank a thousand dunks: the InKredible Epik
Loved in the Center of Attention
The Pirates of Pinch-Ass
Bodacious Booty On Board
The Fug and the Fabulous: A KardASSian Tail
Because Kris loves the real me; Not just my killer kurves, Kardashian name, or my old workout videos with Ray-J.
My Lusty Lederhosen: A Tale of Kardashian Kingpins
“The Price of Love: Apparently about as much as E! will pay me for a sham marriage, some staged photos of me looking dramatic and mysterious, and an eventual revelation that (I was abused/I am really a dude/my husband is gay)”
No Sense or Sensibility: a kuest of kolosal posterior proportions
Plunder My Booty: A Wench’s Tale
4 Nights To Seduce A Pirate Prince
hankts AT internode DOT on DOT net
4 Dukes Too Many
I’M KNOT HEIR (yet): The Kim Kardashian Story
(or… and obviously…
Bowling For Dollars:The Kim Khardashian Story)
The Sex Tape Star:Kim Keeps them Kumming
Krinoline Krushes and Karibbean Leather Love
Kimmy’s Shimmy: Walking the Passionate Plank of Love
The Armenian Millionaire’s Virgin Dead Animal Pants
Kimpossible dreams : a lovekrossed saga.
Rolling in the Gutter with Kimmy
Kourtship of the Kountess: One Woman, One Title, Thirteen Suitors, Endless Hijinks.
“The Scarlet Leather. A Kim Kardashian memoir and another way for Kris Jenner to earn 10%”
Katching Kandida: A tale of piracy, love, and a wicked yeast infection.
Kaptive’s Koitus in Kowhide.
Showmance on the High Seas, Book One: The Korsair’s Kurse
Life is bootyfull.
The tender side of Kim Kardashian is exposed in this deeply affecting dark romance.
Cop a load of this … Kim K. goes Cockney in the saucy, sassy B & D romp :
Butt out, knockers!
Give your other half the special K treatment, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, you know what I mean. Corblimey, it’s ain’t half hot in here.
The Kast-Away Kountess: a tale of Piracy, Pleather, and Paparazzi
sKurvy! ~ lust on hard-tack
Xray this – our see through love
Kamera klose up – Karing in the Kingdom of Kardashian
Gone with the bling
Kare for a krush – Kaptain Knob and the kastaway Kardashian
Leather, Louboutin and Love
Katching khlamydia – konquering the Kardashians
A konvenient krush – how the Kountess Kardashian nailed romance (klose up)
My votes are for:
Walking His Plank
Ahor, Ye Mateys!
and Fifteen Minute Flame
LOL…Walking His Plank…too funny!
Two ideas: Kruel, Kruel Love
or
O Loving Hate! O Hateful Love! O K!
A Strike for Love: The Konfused Bridegroom’s Sporty Koquette
Me, Myself and the Paparazzis
The Kardashian’s Wedding Affair
I don’t know much about Ms. K but it seems that her behind has been remarked upon a bit.
Mutiny on My Booty (given the pirate pants)
Pirate’s Booty (He thought she was just a girl but then he knew,… She was Pirate’s Booty)
Kim – In love with Myself, or The greatest love story of all the times.
the first entry was the best: Marriage of Konvenience.
Kim Kardashian presents The Leatherbound Booty and the Man Who Loved It: A Tale of Hotpants, Lust, Squats, and Revenge.
Kim of the Pleather Jeggings and her Pirate Captain: Lust on the High Seas
Leather, Lace, & Louboutins: True Love Forever and For Always with Kim Kardashian
Here’s looking at you, Kim
Revenge of the Kow: leather for Kim and him …
Out Of Africans
Ass: You Like It?
Bolldoze the Moon
Kim Kardashian’s The Greatest Love of All: A Timeless Love Story About Kim Kardashian for Kim Kardashian by Kim Kardashian (Now with a forward by Kim Kardashian and reviews by Kris Jenner, Khole Kardashian, Kourtney Kasdashian and Kim’s husband, whats-his-name)
Mink lash tears: The day my bum sagged
Konfessions of a Kardashian: Konquering Love, One Louboutin Step at a Time
Kim’s Karnal Kabana
Rob’s
“Me: A love story.”
is wonderful!