Girl, please.
[Photo: Splash News]
THE SUBJECT: Lenny Kravitz, singer, ex of Denise Huxtable herself (Lisa Bonet), father of hairbrush-averse Zoe, and maybe-probably ex of Nicole Kidman.
THE BOOTS: I KNOW. They sure look like boots under pants, but if so, then … where … are they bootaloons? Crotch-high boots? Pants tucked into boots and I just can’t see the seam? But I know one thing they are: Wedges. And also, maybe kind of ugly.
THE ASSIGNMENT: Fug him through verse. How about an acrostic? That’s the one where the first letter of each line spells out a relevant word. Like:
Egads! Those
Wedges!
Except that one was totally lazy. But you get the drill.
THE DEADLINE: Please post all submissions in the comments of this entry — meaning, NOT by e-mail — by Monday at 5 p.m. Pacific time. We’re giving you extra time because this is going up so much later than our usual FFFs do. Then we’ll post the nominees for the victor on Tuesday and y’all can vote.
Okay, have at him. Make him want to fly away.
Comments (164):
Many years ago you redid
American Woman.
Now you look like one?
But I actually noticed those glasses first,
And how they seem to give the impression you have
Googly eyes.
I think he looks wonderful. Seriously, I barely noticed what he is wearing. Ill advised boots? Yes. Fug? No.
A Kanye sighting?
Relax, no, it’s Lenny.
Even more disturbing!
You are wearing what appears to be
Over-the-knee leather wedge boots,
Unforgivable for a rocker,
Going anywhere, besides, PERHAPS
Onstage.
No, not with leather pants!
Not with a purse!
American Woman, you are not!
Get thee to a men’s store,
Or to any department store section labeled,
MENS
You are way too hot for this!
Wayward Lenny,
American women will still love you.
You know, It Ain’t Over Til It’s Over.
For Pete’s Sake,
Lenny
You can’t get far enough
Away from those things no matter
Where you go
Ask
Yourself. Is it worth it?
Methinks you are
Uninterested in
Rational pants. And the
Suede planner diverts our
Eyes from your ladyfriend’s tunic.
Fouled
Up. Be
Gone
Like
Yesterday.
You can substitute another F word if you like.
So I wear
These fugnastic boots,
I’ll still rock your world.
Listen, I’m
Lenny Kravitz.
Hold your applause.- We must look
Onward and upward, my friends-
These boots are made for rockin’
Leather clad Lenny, stay away from me
Leather clad Lenny, oh your poor momma
Don’t come hanging around my door
I don’t want to see so much pleather no more
I got more important things to do
then figuring out what kind of boot pants those are
Now Lenny, stay away
Leather clad Lenny, listen what I say
O bserve, a submission for Fug Madness 2011
H ip boots with wedges
H ow will Amber Rose top this?
O nly I, Leather Lenny, can sport such a look
N otice my startled look?
E xactly the match my stark leather get up
Y ou’re jealous, right?
N earest to perfection, am I
O ut of my way Bai Ling!
W edges!?!?
T oo
F reaky!
A secure man
May wear what he please
But a man-wedge is never okay
Even if (almost) pulled off with ease
Remember when you used to write music?
Remember when people knew your name?
Or do you now mask your sorrow in a
Swaddling tunic
Elevated on three inches of shame
?
Since
We all
Enthusiastically
Agree
These Pant-Boots are
Egregious,
Regard the
Disaster above:
Really, is this
Elegantly draped
Shirt what it
Seems to be
?
How will I get across town? Mr. Cab Driver!
Only an American Woman would know how I feel
These heels are my own Natural High. I want to Fly Away.
Black velveteen, it is not, but have no Fear
Until you Let Love Rule you will never comprehend my coolness
That I can dress like the Minister of Rock and Roll leading a Love Revolution
Flower Child meets Super Soul Fighter
Uber hot even Baptized in California androgyny
Get used to it – I am a Shining Star
H ermaphrodite?
E ww!
L aughable,
L enny.
N ix the boots
O r the purse
Hell, Lenny
Even in Winter,
Leather boots that fug?
Elevated by wedge?
No.
Why not
Invest in some
Loafers?
Listen, you and
I both know your mother wouldn’t approve of those
Stupid shoes.
Unconventional let your trademark be,
But ugly it is still indeed;
You’ve tried too hard to be unique,
But your Best Dressed nod is looking bleak;
Fashion Icon you’re not, though thanks for trying,
But Heather and Jessica’s rules are not for defying;
These comments I’m sure are likely stinging,
But do us a favour, just stick to singing.
Baffling boots
Acting
Naughty. Are they
Trousers or
Shoes
?
Much confusion, my
Eyes are sore.
Did you
Get those
Execrable
Shoes for free
?
Really?
Usually, when a big ol’
Purse
And
Ugly hybrid
Leggings/boots
Invades my
Snarky GFY reading,
Jessica Simpson
Emerges.
Alternately, it’s
Lilo. (Sigh.)
Only this time,
Unexpectedly, we
See Kravitz. Edgy!
Hey, anyone wanna ride in my ‘Rover with me?
Everybody’s gonna look at me, you’ll see.
Rockin’ me some leather, got it waist to toe.
My sweater dress really rides up, though.
And my shades, I’m starin’ but you can’t see me
Purses are my bag now make me look real dreamy.
Heather don’t like it she don’t dig my style
Really stoppin’ traffic, so let’s chill a while
Oh I know you can’t resist my girl wedges
Dey da bomb all you know-nothin’ b*tches
I just wanna say before I get up and go
That it’s tough being a sister, even though
Everything’s cool when I’m diggin’ her clothes.
Gonk: It means how it sounds
Odd, goofy and
Not cool
Kravitz
Leather pants
And a tunic
Make these wedge-heeled boots
Even more emasculating.
G ood Grief
I is it
R eally real?
L eather leggings?
Y ikes.
W edges where
E ven heels
A re not likely.
R ethink.
Too much? But how can I feel too much,
When my leather pants set your hearts on fire
Oh,I drape away my heart in a jersey curtain.
For those who mock my wedges, know this
Only in wedges can I walk tall.
Really, I glow in the light of these new inches
Often I am asked, was I swallowed by leatherbeast
Not so, nor do I rule Hades in this toga.
Enough! (The bag came free with the boots.)
Pant-boots?
Offal.
Oh, man…
These
Stink!
Trust me Lenny
Rockers in leather ARE hot,
And you confidence,
Naturally
Nothing short of iconic
Yet…
Men, however fine, should never
Ever
Style themselves after
Sisters Kardashian
Don’t care about his boot-pants
(Aside, could they be pant-boots?)
Noggin shaved?
Gorgeous
Handbag across his chest?
Excellent choice to keep your hands free
Shirt kind of like a turtleneck-nightgown?
Fine by me.
I’d love him to come visit me in whatever.
Nightshirt, pant-boots, and all
Egads! He is FINE!
Are you going to fly
My way, Lenny?
Excellent music,
Rad abs,
Iconic women, but
Cowl neck and man bag?
And let’s
Not forget the
Wackadoo wedges.
Oh
M
A
N.
not doing a poem or verse, just going to say that I am averse.
and by the way the seams are just above the knee. how he managed this is beyond me.
Kinky boots
Actually, wedges
Really
Do
Add
Something to
Him
In
A
Nightgown
For you
Lenny, I could forgive the Eileen Fisher tunic.
You are so pretty.
Alas, you paired it with
Wedge-heeled lady boots
And a purse. Why do
You hurt me so?
My first day on the job
And I’m already late
Yoda will yell
“Took you so long, it did!”
How the hell can he yell?
Every one knows it takes time to look this good
Fierce takes even longer
Oh, you think these boots are comfortable?
Righteous as they are?
Come on! Fashion is pain
Even my bug-eye sunglasses are pain
But I digress! My little
Eagle scout in training
We will get you to my level of style, someday
It will take time, diligence, and hard work
To mimic this glorious tunic and these
Hot leather leggings, under glorious boots
You too can look fabulous
Oh yes, man bag and all!
Until later my friends. I’m off to be a Jedi.
Boots,
Unless
They
Never moved along the assembly line,
Ought
To
Be separate from pants.
One or
The other,
Honey.
Leather overrepresented
Everywhere (ubiquitous…..)
No one likes leather more than me.
Notwithstanding, this look is
Yuck!
Lenny, you know that
I know that you are not six
Feet tall. Platforms are for
Trains, and computer
Software, not hot men.
Oooo ooo oooooo! I have nothing to add, I’m just so happy freaky fug Friday is back!
He’s acted in films,
In Zoolander and Precious.
Delighted us with songs,
Every note delicious.
Oh, but dear Lenny,
Understand me,
Stop wearing bootpants, they’re vicious!
Missing:
A Marilyn-style subway grate
Now that could get interesting…
Thanks, I am feeling better about this now
You are really hot, still.
However I don’t love that man-purse
Or the heels on those leather-pantboot-things
Stilettos at least, those are not
Eh, small favors I guess
?
Surely you considered that
Those boots might be made for walking
Around the house, alone.
Yet, here you are! Out in broad daylight
And completing your ensemble
With leather and layers
Aplenty.
You’ve just got to believe
From one diva to another
Relying on heels to give you stature
Only makes the man purse
More of a punch line.
Maybe next time, stick with wearing
Eyeliner?
Why?
I’m confused.
Lenny, lenny, lenny!
Lisa bonet is laughing at your wackitude, dude.
I’m
Sure helen taught you better.
Though I’ve dated well-heeled women
Right now
And now perhaps forever more
No one will remember that.
Now no one will forget that
I’m really, really
Exactly what not to wear.
Big fat ugly wedges
Under leather pants and
Turtlenecked draperies?
Truly
Errors abound
Rock star? yes. little
Fellow? yes.
Lame impersonation of Prince?
Yes
Lenny! What gives?
Ebony boots, or
Are they pants?
Tunic and man-bag, I’ve got a
Headache! Your
Extremities will feel better in
Reeboks.
Angelina going to the store,
Buying diapers?
And totally rocking it!
Dilf you may be, still…
I just don’t get this.
Drop the hot leather mama, more hot abs.
Especially the abs!
And please grow your ‘fro back.)
Lenny.
Exactly what are
THOSE?
Listen,
One cannot just
Venture outside in
Elevator boots.
Really.
Unless you’re
Lady Gaga…for then, it would be
Expected.
Digging the boots
Over the pants
Murse, googles, wedges, I’m so entranced
Easy peasy, come and squeeze me
I saw this awesome navy dress and I
Thought, “I know just what to wear with it!. My
Hot matching blue sunglasses, and
I’ll throw on my
New
Kickin’ bootaloon wedges. And of course
Nothing goes better with those than my leather murse.
Oh my god,
This outfit is slammin’!
Maybe you can Rock this look?
Anti-color,
Neo-look-alike?
Working those Magic Store glasses?
Existentialism will be back in fashion,
Don’t you think?
Great purse, by the way.
E-bayed it from Joey Tribbiani?
Shorts made of leather?
Never a good plan.
O, Honey, Just, No.
could Rachel Zoe’s metrosxeual proclivities
have a damaging impact on the next generation?
assuming a next generation can happen when
fumbling of any kind
in & around 40something junk *that* humidified
nauseates even the most
gifted eurotrash sexhibitionists
much acclimated to
erotic deviance
exaggerated
to the nth degree
delicious Austrian konditorei toppings aside…
real dudes who want to procreate
are now facing a fashion emergency of cosmic
proportions
i
n
g
This must be photoshopped, it’s sooo ugly.
Boot-pants with heels?
american woman
youre no good for me.
i’m no good for you.
#obvi.
Lenny Kravitz… you’re going tranny?
At least it must be for some humanitarian cause.
Dancing in those leather panoots would break several laws
You want our applause?!!
More likely you got some fashion advice from Madonna, but stop:
Airplane blankets do not make an appropriate top.
Not unless you’re flying to New Guinea and promise to eat yourself.
M an that’s crazy, the ladies plead,
E xcessive and girly – are you on speed?
T o wear questionable leather boots and a
R eally long sweater,
O h honey, no….
S ince when did masculinity go?
E specially when H&M brought out the skirts.
X erox this picture, when you return to shirts.
U nfortunately I feel, you’ll shake your head.
A merican Woman won’t just be in your head.
L ove like a woman, dress like a man
I n the end you’ll be thankful, so will the band.
T o good looks and men’s wear you’ll return,
Y ahoo! we’ll shout, another lesson learned!
That’s right
He thinks he looks so cool –
Epic, even
Strutting around NYC in
High heeled – wedged, natch — lady boots & that
Idotic Chico’s collection faux-mock-cowel-neck
Tunic! American woman, indeed!
Wedgie bootaloons.
Tacky tunic top.
Fail!
Not
On Broadway–
Taxi!
Glee should adapt:
Are you gonna go my way?
Yes!
Hat’s off to you MMB @ 12:18pm. I’m not even going to try to top that one today.
This is what the spawn of Amber Rose & Kanye would look like. (Also, is that his vehicle in the back? Lenny, we can see your license plate. :p)
You look bewildered
I too, stare with shock
Kindly explain yourself, Dear Lenny
Even Lilo wouldn’t wear that
Seriously?
Leather wader-wedges
Even in New York?
Not cool, man.
Not cool.
Yucky, even.
People know I am the sexiest.
Really I can cross sides!
Everyone knows I’ve mastered sexy man.
To those who wonder now,
That if I can be a beautiful woman?
YES!
Grit your teeth at my purse.
Inspect my leather hidden crotch wedge boots.
Regret not wearing what I wear today.
Love me as both genders.
I
Think
A makeover is
In order.
Nothing in
This ensemble works.
Oh, Lenny. It’s not like you’re a style
Virgin.
Ever hear of understatement?
Really:
Tranny man purse?
Ill-fitting cowl-neck dress?
Leather wedge-tights?
I know you say it ain’t over
Til it’s over.
Sorry, honey, it’s
Over.
Very much so. The
End.
Really, really over.
Perhaps it’s an
Accident of your pose, but
Cripes, beyond gasping at the boots, and the
Knapsack, and the cowl
Apparently you “dress right,” leaving us
Gasping geez, if that’s real, it’s
Exceptional
G ood grief genius.
O gle once: orbital overload.
N ot nice!
E ven…ewwww.
S artorial suckitude
O uch
W edges with waders?
R idiculous rationalization rejected.
O utfit overload. Onto
N ext. Now
G et going!
Look Lenny,
Even
Neo knows What
Not to Wear
Your
Gaga inspired Bants
Are a bit much. I’m even
Gonna bet they
Are crotchless too (hence the tunic)
Bootaloons?
Over pants
Or under, it matters not.
These are hideous.
A pox on the designer.
Look away
Or retinal burn shall be your fate.
Of all the scourges of humanity
None are worse than these bootaloons of
Shame.
Blame it on the rain or,
I don’t know
That’s a Milli-Vanilli-ism, so maybe don’t
Could be the time of year; seriously- fall totes calls for leather thigh
Highs
Ergo,
Suck on it
Black Velveteen would totally rock this. Also,
Elvis loved heels! And
The King wasn’t half as fine as this almond
Roca
I don’t even want to get STARTED on this fly
Piece of fabric I’m sporting up top
Prince wishes he could pull off a man-dress. A mress,
If you will
Now, I need to cross the street. As you can tell by my day-planner (black suede, ‘natch) I’m a busy man
Not gonna fug him. I think he looks hot.Seriously, on any other guy this would look ridiculous, but Lenny is working it.
Please
Rethink this Lenny
If you don’t
Need
Comparisons to other people’s
Elevated shoes.
K indly
A nswer sweet Kravitz,
N ew queries on
Y our greatly
E gregious boot-leggings-beggings?!–
W hy and wherefore don’t they
E nd like normal
S hoes?
Trust me. Even Amber Rose wouldn’t approve.
F orgive my doubt,
U ltimate rock star.
Gorgeous can trump a matronly sweaterdress.
There once was a man with a bag
How doth he enjoy wearing rags!
Riotous wedge boots
Over pants as a boot suit?!
Why Frankenstein, your style’s been had.
Up above lies a haiku…which in conjunction with this two-line bit, forms a
Pity-able acrostic.
OH MY GOD. YOU GUYS. I THINK I SEE HORIZONTAL ZIPPER SEAMS UP BY HIS THIGHS.
I never thought the day would come when I would see someone wearing zoonts.
But here it is.
Too much leather can be bad,
If you know what I mean.
Me thinks I see leather shorts, pants, and boots!
Ewww…they make me want to scream!
Topping it off with that weird tunic,
Really doesn’t make any sense.
Aviator, bizzaro sunglasses,
Very much from the past tense.
Everyone thinks that Lenny is hot,
Like look at his face and imagine his butt.
Everyone thinks Lenny is major loot,
Remember, though, that most do not want no wedge boot.
Many people want to look like Kravitz, even with this time traveler monk look,
Others would rather read a good book.
Neither with looks nor with talent can certain outfits be deemed acceptable, so
Kravitz, take heed, and wear something more credible.
Lenny i must confess, that
Once you i wanted to fuck
Ready and willing and titilated; i
Drove myself mad with your photos
How embarassed now i feel
Attending to this quest of verse
Verily vexed and dismayed as i am
Eschewing your lack of good sense
May you know this now and
Evermore: man wedges should NEVER BE!
Really i thought you more aware; i was most
Certain you would gray golden in thine eyes
Yearning for you I suppose, is just a masturbatory memory.
What’s up dude…seriously,
That cult-toga is doing no favors.
Fug Nation does not approve.
Maybe you didn’t know…
All-leather leg balloons don’t breathe.
Nevermind, I see you have knee-vents.
Tunic draped
Ever so delicately
Soft leather boots
Topping cute wedge soles
Over your shoulder you’ve slung a
Sweet little purse.
Tell us, Lenny, have you maybe been
Eating,
Rolling/smoking
Or
Nasally inhaling
Estrogen?
Ok, so I missed the deadline and therefore will not be leaving any kind of verse.
All I can say about this outfit is, if it were being worn by a yoga-bodied 60-year-old woman with short-cropped white hair, minimal makeup and oversized heavy black-framed glasses, it’d be awesome.
You know
Even
A high end hooker
Said “no
Thanks
I would
Never
Freaking
Ever be
Caught out on
The corner
In those hideously
Overly ugly
Nasty ass wedges”
Looks
Especially
Twisted
For he
Usually
Gives
Rather
Unctuous
Love
Emissions
Someone please let Lenny know
High leather boots with a wedge are a no
Extra drapey cowel-necked tunic
Makes him look like a fugly eunuch
And what’s with the man purse on the hip?
Not gonna go your way on this trip.
Great blog! I’ve read a few posts here today, and wanted to leave at least one comment. I’ll be back!
Don’t tell me you don’t dig this, bitches
Out is the new In
Under my pants, what’s that, you ask?
Could it be? Internal booties?
Hoot like a hoochie if you like it,
Especially if I make you wanna slap your mama.
Bootlings of leather
All the way to his
Long
Loosened old lady
Smock
Unusual choice unless you are
Playing a Pirate in your own private P.Funk parade.
L eather wedges
E arrings
A nd toting a purse?
H is look from the
E lbows down deserves
R idicule in verse
H owever, if he asked me out, I’d not be adverse; from
E lbows up, the dude could look
A
D amn sight worse!
Are you going to fug my way?
Is there any love in your heart,
Sistamamalover?
Heaven help these wedgepants, but you can’t say no to me
Evah. I’m a
New-man Supersoulfighter, and a straight cold player, letting love rule.
Understand me, and don’t go put a bullet in your head, just be a woman. Or a dude
Trying on woman clothes. Maybe a ladywedgedress? Am I
Sexy enough to pull off a murse for dragging your heart around?
American (Wo)man?
Maybe next time
Enacting your songs
Really should be attempted
In private at first.
Cowl-necked dresses
Appear odd
Next to wedges
Which are not
Only ugly, but
Masquerading
As fishing waders with
Nary a
Fish in sight.
Lenny: l also wonder if
Your notebook details
Anguish and pain
Which could
Account for
Your double-stranded murse?
Man, Lenny!
Even if your songs are great,
Never wear bootings and a navy tunic. Fifth-grade girl’s
School picture on top, and dress-up bin on the bottom.
Written in his notebook, as he tucks it in his bag:
Examine self-tanner shade and sunglasses.
Am I too orange? Or too reflective? (Nah. A little
Reflection would have done him good.)
Did I tell you
At anytime you could borrow my stuff?
Definitely NOT.
Do you see why now?
Oprah will hear about this…
You have given me no choice, you
Owe me a new dress,
Underwear
Rain boots
Leather pants
And a new purse
Use the laundromat the
Next time you run out of
Dungarees
REALLY DAD??
You’re so DAMN lazy! -Love, Zoe
Why is
Our beloved Lenny Kravitz
Wearing those
Wedges?
Ha! Is that a reflection in his glasses or his eyes? It added, either way. “And he TALKED LIKE THIS!”
Dress over pants
A trend for the indecisive
Man or Woman
Neither makes it work
PS- Missed the name of Jedi writer above, but you called it dead on.
anonymous at 12:30pm above was me.
Lenny Kravitz used to accesorize his outfits with
Electric guitars and hot ladies, dreadlocks and a
Tight muscular body.
Forty-six now, no
Underware policies have matured into Spanx or
Girdles ‘neath roomy jersey dresses.
Runs in hosery have been brilliantly avoided thanks to the new
Universal boot-pant. Poot? Bant? This portmandeau requires a consensus, in all
Likelyhood, before it sees the light of day, unlike this
Evening wear for a motorcyclist-hooker in the winter.
We all know that finding cute boots
Or the right sweater dress or the perfect
Murse that will make you feel as
Pretty as you want to feel can be difficult.
Beautiful Man.
Oh.
No.
Killing my eyes with tears of laughter.
Egregious errors in style.
Run, if you can, back to your car.
Speed away.
T ilda Swinton.
R uPaul.
A licia Keys.
I ntern George.
N atalie Portman.
W hitney Houston.
R ihanna.
E mily Blunt.
C hloe Sevigny.
K im Kardashian.
C ould these people have worn this outfit any better?
H ard to say.
I feel like Lenny tried to make it go his way;
C razy, however, only goes in one direction.
Lenny
Embraces
Transvestism,
Forgets numero
Uno Tim
Gunn
Rule:
Unless Nina will
Love it,
Eschew!
L enny, wow dude
I see that you have now
L eft the regular world
A nd joined me in the
K nowledge
O f a life
I n the stratosphere
M aybe we should consider
O ur relationship
O nce again. With your
N ew perspective, we could share a closet.
Uncomfortable to look at
Him swathed in assorted leather-i-ness
Only 80 degrees in NYC this week
He must be looking for an air conditioned cab
Aw,
WTF?
Kravitz is
Wearing an
Amber
Rose
Disguise!
Yeah, those are leather pants tucked
Into leather boots
Kind of gross
Especially with matching
Satchel and dress
Word of advice:
Even for rock stars, a
Drag
Goth
Ensemble that fuses
Posh and
Amber Rose is
Not
Trendy
Sir
O hmigawd! IF only Lenny didn’t
H ave on the lowers of a
M an catwoman costume. And the top weren’t an
I nterface between
G ayness and nipple-baring-ness.
A nd if only the
W edges didn’t redefine
D ouchebagness. If only.
!
All in black
Really, a purse?
Even a modular shirt
Ugly
And the bootapants
Girls like wedges
I think
Real men eschew wrinkled
Leather
I was minding my own business
clicking through go fug yourself
Saw Lenny in his leathers
took his wedges off the shelf
In goggles he’s resplendent
no hair looks good on him
but the stretchy tunic’s got to go
castings done for Rocky Horror
It must be Freaky Friday
Mom and Lenny must have switched
She’s rocking dreds, Doc Martens
and he’s got her look instead!
M ay
A ll
D esigners everywhere
E schew
I mitating this
N aseau-inducing
F ashion choice,
U nless one Mr. Tim
G unn
W ills us to “Make it work.”
A las,
N ever such leg adornments.
Check out my
Attractive
Male version of an
Elegant
Larger-than-life
Toe of the camel
Occupying the area between
Egregious cowl-neck and silly wedges: ouch!
Hey
Everyone! Lenny’s
Still
So Fine! The
Only thing we have to do to shake the
Fuggery
Is to imagine Lenny’s
Not wearing anything. Not
Even his sunglasses!
Leaving
Everything to the imagination –
Nappa leather catsuits under dresses are
No way to treat those abs,
You must admit.
Lovely verses, people! Here’s my (non-poetic) contribution.
I believe he is wearing leather shorts and over-the-knee boots. Which match. AND ARE ZIPPED TOGETHER.
L enny Kravitz, my friend, today things went wrong
E xcellent though your music may be
N ever is that an excuse for that outfit
N o one should be allowed to walk the streets in that outfit
Y ou ask why? I will tell you why…
K ids in the street will run up to you
R aving about how they can’t tell, where your plastic pants end, your plastic boots begin
A sking if you knew that turtleneck dresses usually look better belted
V irtually any shirt would have been a better choice
I think that someone needs to let you know
T hat everything is wrong here, from A to
Z
Lenny Kravitz is look like very famous super star and he is standing style and he is expression, every thing is awesome.
L enny,
A heel of any kind is for
D rag Queens and women.
Y our look is not Tranny-chic like Gaga, but
B roke-down Tranny-hooker
O ut on the street corner at 4am.
Y ou’re a mess, and not a hot mess.
Lenny is looking fantastic in this outfit. He has what it takes to be a good celebrity.
Lenny’s Pantoum
Would this look have worked with a hat?
I mean, how many guys can pull off a tunic?
Actually, don’t answer that
But accessories don’t make me a eunuch.
I mean, how many guys can pull off a tunic…
And one with a cowl neck no less.
But accessories don’t make me a eunuch
And this is a shirt, not a dress.
And one with a cowl neck, no less!
I matched my purse to my shoes like they told me
And this is a shirt, not a dress.
When I saw the boots I said, “You’ve sold me.”
I matched my purse to my shoes like they told me!
And I know that these boots have a wedge.
When I saw the boots I said, “You’ve sold me!
I’m not afraid to live on the edge.”
And I know that these boots have a wedge
But I think they set off my physique.
I’m not afraid to live on the edge
Though I’m open to your critique.
But I think they set off my physique
Which is why I had to possess them.
Though I’m open to your critique
Which leaves just one open question.
Which is why I had to possess them…
Actually, don’t answer that
Which leaves just one open question:
Would this look have worked with a hat?
Lenny had been kind
Enough to debut
A new collection by
The greatest styling team to
Hit the streets
Ever:
gRace Jones and Lady Gaga!
He looking smart, and so handsome.
Even
Uglier
Than
5 Lindsey Lohan Leggings,
7 Tina Fey Jumpsuits,
4 Taylor Momsen slut ensembles, and
9 of ANYTHING ever worn by Pamela Anderson
This, I beg you of the Fug Gods….
Please forgive Lenny, if only because he is ultra-hot. He has been so fashion forward that we do not understand his selections for two years or more. Case in point, Fly away, Are you gonna go my way videos.
Your loyal and omni-present servant.
Your wedges offend us.
Your tunic made us cry.
Your murse is just a abysmal..
So tell us, Lenny, why?
Are we so incapable of continuing this poem in the face of your scorching hotness? Seriously, dude. Age, or something.
Why are you looking
Ever so bug-eyed
In you dress (would look better in
Red), man-purse and funky boots.
Dud?
It’s time to take a stand
Brothers and sisters join hands
We got to take Lenny shopping
Take Lenny shopping
His outfits can make a little child smile
Can’t you see that this is just wrong
Brothers and sisters join hands
We have to be strong
And take Lenny shopping
Take Lenny shopping
(all apologies to Let Love Rule)
What’s it going to take to make the public see me as a superhero? Cape/boot hybrids will be so subtly convincing. Lets take a poll after this and then we can decide which sunglasses are best.
Come on dude…
How do you expect
Idiots, much less
Classy ladies like us to
Keep from laughing?
Can you say sweaterdress?
Loony leather wedge-boot-pants?
Or even murse!
Tranny-tastic!
Here’s hoping that,
Eventually, you come to your
Senses.
INITIALLY, I thought:
What, dear fug girls, are you on
About? The hair, face, muscles, so nice!
Northerly, though, were my eyes at
This time of fug doubt.
Then, I directed my eyes to the south.
Oh, Lenny, no. You have gone too far.
For your girlfriend will be jealous that you
Looked hotter in her favorite outfit, plus
You stretched out her mini dress, dude.
As if that’s not enough, where do I start,
With below the equator? Cheap ladywedge boots
And/or Stevie Nicks’ leather peggings? What?
You are so man pretty, is it androgeny?
Average
Men could never
Evade
Ridicule
If they
Chose to walk the
Avenues of
New York sporting
Women’s wear; however,
Our boy Lenny
Makes wedge boots
And purses seem
Normal
N o, Lenny. Time to move
O nto another
T rend!
H ow about one for men?
O ne could picture
T he loveliest lady
I n that delicate midnight blue cowl neck sweater,
N onchalantly
T ucking her laptop into the cute messenger bag.
(H ate the sunglesses.)
(A nd I’d lose the pants, too. For once, pantless is a
T rend that would work here. With a lady.)
Dude.
Really?
Egad!
Asinine.
Dumbtastic.
Super-fly guy lost it.
Wedged between the impossible and a Matrix costume reject.
Talent superseded by wackadoodle fashion sense, but why?
Frankly, I’m stumped.
Even
Lenny
Expects
Vigorous
Attention
Til
Others
Realize he is actually
Short.
Hence,
On go the
Elevator Shoes.
Lenny….NO!
Eyes scarier than the elevator boots
No…Lenny…No
Not the shirt dress
You are better than this!
Not the Man Bag too….
Obviously in need of a stylist!
Ole rocker Lenny Kravitz
He of musical and hippie fug fame
Most of his wardrobe choices
Your kids will scoff at, yet could
Footed pajamas like these,
Universally loved for Halloween,
Grow on their malleable taste?
In high school
My teenage lust thumped
In time with Mama Said
Starstruck by Lenny’s talent
So dreamily combined with his style
Then fame arrived and
He learned how to really work it
Edgy and
Diabolically cool
Retro and futuristic all rolled into one
Everyone saw it then.
Alas, everyone sees this too
Delusion will hopefully be replaced
Soon with a return to former glory.
Blade Runner-esque, no?
Except this is no fashion statement, I
Dream a plague of
Bugs–in my ears and my eyes, crawling
Underneath my clothes toward my nether-regions.
Gross!
So I dress like an extra from The Matrix fools!
Please let this be a nightmare.
Really, Lenny?
Even though we can see you’re still gorgeous,
Clothes like these were not meant to be worn.
I can
Only hope
U got all of this for
Super cheap.
U.G.L.Y
Good God man! What is this tripe! Oh
Lenny! oh Lenny!
Your metro sexual upper half
Your storm trooper lower half!
Oh Lenny!! Oh Lenny!
U.G.L.Y
U ain’t got no alibi
Go change please! Go change please!
Lo-sing an-y lust I might have had for
You! Oh Lenny!! Oh Lenny!!
I can’t help thinking
This looks like some
Sci-Fi convention gear.
Obi-Wan Is jealous
Vader thinks you’re cool
E T says phone home
Return to the year 2010.
(Wait a minute? It’s 2010? Maybe it’s the rest of us that are behind the times?)
/\
(I was laughing too much at all the great comments to remember to fill in the other boxes…)
Ingenious.
Man can wear what
I presume is a cowl-neck tunic
Straight off the women’s clearance rack and
Still look sexy.
The glasses are questionable but
He is rocking those wedges. At least they aren’t
Espadrilles!
And we should give him credit
For aging so gracefully. Besides Intern George,
Really no men look sexier as the years pass.
Omit the man purse.
Men shouldnt really wear heels,
Except for drag queens or those who do it
To pay the bills!
Retrospectively, are the
Over-the-top pleather dominatrix boots needed?
Surely not.
Explain also your choice of man-tunic?
Xylophone, (um…yeah)
Unveiling your inner Cher, is not
As strangely suggestive as it may sound.
Lenny, please heed my warning.
Manly is not your amusinG
Attire’s designed essence I
Notice. Anyhow, my good siR,
Pantbootwedges certainly wilL
Remain in well-earned infamY.
Even Jennifer Lopez judgeD
That the drapery is frou-froU.
The Fug Nation fuggers voteD:
You need to ditch the debaclE.
“My people,
All your questions will be answered in the order received. Yes,
My influences are Chiwetel Ejiofor in “Kinky Boots”
And Chiwetel Ejiofor in “Serenity.”
Leatherrific wedge waders and an
Eileen Fisher tunic that’s somehow both turtle- and cowl-necked?
The storm troopers on RuPaul’s spaceship WISH they could rock this. Now,
My ankles do appear sadly weak. My groin area is surely fetid.
Even I am not sure if I’m holding a laptop or a Trapper-Keeper.
But be real: You’d still sort of hit this, right?
Excellent.”
Maybe if I wear these funky looking glasses no one will notice I got this fantastic outfit from a tranny hooker.
On the one hand,
He looks great in navy, but I have no
Love for a man in a cowl neck!
Except for maybe Austin Scarlett.
Nasty sunglasses, ladies fugly wedge boots,
No dreads?
You are no longer the hot rocker I remember!
Forge ahead Lenny,
Even the bell bottoms are better then this
Hot mess!
Silly Lenny!
I know you know I know you like to yank my chain
Like when you post that naked pic on Twitter
Lol!!!
You are too much sometimes!
Like right now. Lenny, listen – this is too much.
Everyone can see you are desperate for attention.
No one blames you, we just want to help.
Now put down the murse and remove the bootaloons.
You’ll thank us for this someday…
Apparently I don’t edit enough. Should be:
Silly Lenny!
I know you know I know you like to yank my chain
Like when you posted that naked pic on Twitter,
Lol!!!
You are too much sometimes!
Like right now. Lenny, listen – this is too much.
Everyone can see you are desperate for attention.
No one blames you, we just want to help.
Now put down the murse and remove the bootaloons.
You’ll thank us for this someday…
Here’s Lenny Kravitz,
A big girl’s blouse,
Holding a big girl’s purse, wearing
Angelina Jolie’s trousers.
Y ou know Gaga
I s going to be pissed:
K ravitz has
E vidently borrowed her
S leepwear.
Mr. Taxi
You just passed me by
Maybe if I had my
Other
Mules, I
Would walk.
As you can
See, My
Heels, although
Elegant, are not practical.
Let me check my compact, because my
ensemble is
New.
Why are all these paparazzi
ignoring my
Lady friend,
Let me check my murse,
I think I forgot my
Spankx at home
I am not clever enough to submit anything, but I just want to say that all the submissions are delightfully funny and thank you, Fug Nation!!!!
Well, this is an interesting
take on the Bill Cosby sweater… Patricia
Field is styling the re-boot show?
Not an actual entry (I missed the deadline anyway), but I just wanted to chime in to say I THINK they are knee-high boots with leather pants tucked into them. If you look REALLY closely, there appears to be a seam right below his knee.
Maybe? Hopefully? Pleeeeaaase…..?
This article is very useful, I have been looking for, thank you.Very good!
Lenny, Lenny, Lenny
Oh why did you borrow
Lady Gaga’s clothes?
So I wear
These fugnastic boots,
I’ll still rock your world.
Listen, I’m
Lenny Kravitz.
So I wear
These fugnastic boots,
I’ll still rock your world.
Listen, I’m
Lenny Kravitz.
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As a member with the fashion market, I salute you.
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Great recap, I can’t even believe you were able to write that.I got so much anxiety just watching that and I thought I was the only one who had unnatural rage/hate for Kelly, glad I’m not the only one, as I was getting concerned. These women show that you can age without maturing.