Freaky Fug Friday: Voting Edition

freaky-fug-friday
Feb 8, 2010 By Jessica AT 11:00 am

I have to say, the acrostic challenges — like this one — really, really bring out the best in Fug Nation. This week’s Freaky Fug Friday was nearly IMPOSSIBLE to narrow down — truly. I could easily have put ten or twelve poems into the finals. If you haven’t read all the entries, you should — there’s loads more genius in there to enjoy. WE ARE ALL HEROES HERE. But voting must commence:

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Behold your finalists!

1) “Poor Frances Bean,” by Tailypo

Perhaps the toaster cozy on my head 

Overpowers my kanekalon fiber weave? 
Or are the socks too much? My stylist said 
Rely on classics. Is that puke on my sleeve? 
Fuck it. Ke$ha totally wears tie-dye. 
Rock stars wear tie-dye! And jersey plus-fours!
Adderall makes me edgy. Where was I? 
Now I am lost. Let’s see. Am I outdoors? 
Court, you’ve got to think. Was it Grammy Night? 
Elton and Gaga, ashes, sparkling blues… 
Seems Pink was spinning wet, can that be right? 
Because these might be Justin Bieber’s Shoes. 
Either way I’m lost. My sore lip needs ice. 
And where’s my kid? Hey man, you holding? 
Nice!

2) “Live Through This,” by Sarah Rogers

Lovely Court, a note to you: 

Invest in a can of dry shampoo. As 
Very often, you’re detected with 
Extensions Britney Spears rejected. 
Thank God for Hole and rock n roll, 
However, ‘all the drugs’ can take their toll. 
Remember, though you entertain us, 
Our taste is footwear is not so heinous. 
Under that coat is a body to die for! So 
Give us an outfit to coo and sigh for! 
Hell, we know you’re too PUNK ROCK for fashion, but, 
Toots, dress yourself with a little passion. 
How about not resembling dereliction? And appearing 
In something with an ounce of conviction? Just 
So we’re sure you’re over your addiction…
3) “Pantaloons,” by Melissa W

Perhaps the headwound won’t seem quite as lame 

All bonneted in lacy frumpy mass. 
Not all my fault, though – for the leggings blame 
The gnomes who stole my only looking glass. 
Alas, the devils, much to my chagrin, 
Left nighties there where once my shirts had been. 
Oh heavens me, with gnomes did this begin? 
Or was it oxycodone mixed with gin? 
Nay, mark, dear friends, my fashionly mistake - 
Someday you will ache like I do ache.

poll by twiigs.com

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