Freaky Fug Monday: The Voting

freaky-fug-friday
Nov 23, 2009 By Heather AT 10:59 am

Another week, another raft of fabulousness. Sure, it’s tempting to revolt against the December holidays rearing their heads before we’re even in our Thanksgiving food comas, but you guys resisted the urge to boycott and churned out a hilarious chunk of seasonal song parodies. But we can only vote on a few, and so:

[Photo: Splash News]

THE FINALISTS

1) By BrokeHedonist, to the tune of “The Dreidel Song”

You had a little yorkie;
A hat was on his head,
Which, though made him look dorky,
Matched your Nice n’ Easy red.

Just take the early 90′s,
Ad Go-Go, and in swirl,
Dionne from “Clueless”; garnish
with an Austin Powers girl.

Gold boots, belt, dog, and sequins,
With doilies on your thighs,
Can’t hope to overpower
All the crazy in your eyes.

Oh, Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe
In trompe l’oeil brocade,
You wouldn’t even notice
If it rained on your parade.


2) By A Tad More Cowbell, to the tune of “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch”

You’re a weird one, Phoebe Price.
You really are a pill.
You’re as fugly as a rictus,
growing up from a landfill.
Phoebe Price.

You’re a bad mamber-jamber
disgracing your dogggggg……

You’re a monster, Phoebe Price
Your head’s an empty hole.
With those hose and go-go boots now
all you need’s a stripper pole
Fugly Price.

You’re a three-decker Lohan and Sevigny Sandwich
WITHOUT Swinton sauce.

I feel sorry, for your dog.
It’s really not it’s fault
That you’ve dressed it like a doily
sweeter than a chocolate malt
Fugly Price

The three words that best describe you are as follows,
and I quote: “Fug. Fugged. Fugly.”

3) By Ellen Frances, to the tune of “Baby It’s Cold Outside”

Yorkie: I really can’t stay…
Phoebe: Baby, wear velour outside.
Yorkie: I’ve got to go away…
Phoebe: Baby, put on this tiny hat outside.
Yorkie: This evening has been…
Phoebe: Been hoping the Paps would drop in!
Yorkie: Full of distress…
Phoebe: The guest bed throw is now my dress!
Yorkie: PETA will start to worry…
Phoebe: My black Rasta hat is furry!
Yorkie: Dog Rescue will be pacing the floor…
Phoebe: Metalic gold accessories galore!
Yorkie: So really, I’d better scurry…
Phoebe: White eyeshadow makes things so blurry!
Yorkie: Or maybe I won’t go on anymore.
Phoebe: Square-toe boots & fishnets: Fo Sho!
Yorkie: I really can’t stay,
Phoebe: Baby, you’re in choke hold.
Yorkie/Phoebe: Ah, we’re so alone inside!

4) By Jenna, to the tune of “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”

It’s Phoebe time
There’s much need to be afraid
At Phoebe time
We banish lights and we hide in shade
And in our world of plenty
We can’t spread a smile of joy
Hide your head under the couch at Phoebe time.

But say a prayer
Pray for the furry ones
At Phoebe time
It’s so hard when she’s having fun
There’s a world outside her window
But in it no one knows her name
Where the only thing that stops her
Is her crippling lack of fame
And the camera bulbs that flash there
Are the strobing lights of doom
She just can’t believe it’s them instead of her!

And there won’t be fame in America this Phoebe time
The only thing she’ll get this year is scorn
Where no one ever asks
For her stupid autograph
Do they know it’s Phoebe time at all?

poll by twiigs.com

Fug file: Freaky Fug Friday
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