Fug-3

So, we mentioned yesterday in linking to our Y-3 write-up that Kim Kardashian wore gold talons on her nails. Our New York mag colleague got a close-up photo of them ; backstage that’s better than anything we could get through our channels but here’s the gist: They look like the sort of thing Cleopatras stylist would have invented and then some obnoxious ‘glypher — who TOTALLY only carves on walls in his/her pajamas, never showers, and guzzles fermented Nile water — chiseled something like, “What’s with the fake nails, Cleo, did you break your real ones off in Caesar’s hair?” And then some Lee executive decoded it thousands of years later and invented the modern-day press-on nail.

The best part, though — to me — is that she kept them on during a routine ice-cream run to Coldstone.

[Photo: Splash News]

You can just see them up there on the first two fingers of her left hand, helping clasp her waffle sundae. Reggie Bush just looks like he wants to go home and play some Wii — can’t say I blame him; on Madden ’09 he probably had a way better season (and yet you never hear of anyone decrying HER as any kind of athlete jinx; why does J.Simp get all the hate?) — but Kim seems perfectly content squiring her talons all over town. They must be useful as the only things that can penetrate those shoulder pads when she gets a wicked itch. I am pretty sure that if The CW ever gets desperate and picks up the futuristic soap Dynasty 3012, this is what Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan Flarp Mork Glarb (et al.; I can’t possibly keep track of all the potentially alien marriages she will have entered into by then) will wear to the boardroom. AND possibly to bed.