Fergie, currently of The Black Eyed Peas, but known to me now and forever as Stacy from Kids Incorporated, decides that if one trend is good, seven trends must be better:
Cowboy boots? Check.
Trucker hat? Check.
Pants of unflattering and awkward length? Check.
Shiny cardi-shrug? Check.
Oodles of jewelry? Check.
Tanorexia? Check.
Anonymous male escort who looks vaguely ashamed to be with you, especially since there are photographers around and oh my God, y’all, what if they think we’re dating when I’m actually just friends with your friend and I accidentally ended up in this picture SWEET GOD I DON’T ENDORSE THIS OUTFIT, PEOPLE, PLEASE DON’T THINK I DO.
Comments (86):
Hey, you forgot “exposed bra strap in contrasting colour”.:)
Are those bikini tan lines peeking out on either side of the shorts?
Ick.
I dunno, to me that guy looks mildly retarded, so I doubt he’s ashamed.
the bermuda short/cowboy boots combo is making me cringe.
TSG – what does that mean?
Maybe the mildly retarded fellow drooled all over Fergie’s hair to give it that greased, oily look?
And what is that in her left hand???
She’s missing her little rat-dog, a Balenciaga bag, and her Lance Armstrong bracelet.
>> Are those bikini tan lines peeking out on either side of the shorts?
Either that or it’s the white of her hip-bones showing through the skin. Either way…
Minus the shrug and with different trousers, it might be an okay kicking around outfit, so I guess she only went two trends too far.
i cant process this. this is so fugly, and she IS fugly. she’s only like 29-30, and she looks like shes definitely overloaded on the botox, YUCK!
butter-face, butter-face, butter-face!!
I just do not understand…I just don’t. Are they just trying to make the rest of us do-not-have’s feel better? Is this maybe an act of charity on their part? Or does all good sense leave when the big paychecks of success start rolling in?
I really feel that Mary Kate Olsen is somehow responsible for this. It’s just a feeling. Is anyone else having Zoolander flash-backs? Derelicte? Hollywood seems to be on this more is more kick and not in a good way. Its like a “Wet Seal” exploded all over her. (The store not the animal.) It doesn’t fit her. Any of it. Which brings me to the age old quuestion:
“What goes with Botox, Mystic Tan, and collagen?”
Apparently anything the 99 cent store has to offer!
I really feel that Mary Kate Olsen is somehow responsible for this. It’s just a feeling. Is anyone else having Zoolander flash-backs? Derelicte? Hollywood seems to be on this more is more kick and not in a good way. Its like a “Wet Seal” exploded all over her. (The store not the animal.) It doesn’t fit her. Any of it. Which brings me to the age old question:
“What goes with Botox, Mystic Tan, and collagen?”
Apparently anything the 99 cent store has to offer!
I really feel that Mary Kate Olsen is somehow responsible for this. It’s just a feeling. Is anyone else having Zoolander flash-backs? Derelicte? Hollywood seems to be on this more is more kick and not in a good way. Its like a “Wet Seal” exploded all over her. (The store not the animal.) It doesn’t fit her. Any of it. Which brings me to the age old question:
“What goes with Botox, Mystic Tan, and collagen?”
Apparently anything the 99 cent store has to offer!
sorry about that.
sorry about that.
Speaking of ole Fergie, has anyone seen this picture?
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/2639/Events/2639/Fergieofth_Grani_3954913_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Ferguson,%20Stacy
Granted, it’s a year old, but – the breasts! – dear God, the breasts! Seriously – what is going on here? I don’t understand…the high, fake boobs and the dress which makes it look like she has other boobs hiding in there somewhere and the uggggghhhhhh.
can you hear me banging my head against my screen? when and why did it become “fashionable” to wear a black bra under a light shirt? ICK!
I heard Miss Fergie on a love advice radio talk show a few months ago where she admitted she was into meth as a younger girl. That might explain this outfit. Then again, she could have been playing some weird form of reverse strip poker with Mischa Barton, Ashley Simpson and Paula Abdul. Also, that guy behind her is not mildly retarded. He merely appears to be a combination of the P.Diddy, Vin Diesel and Jay-Z frequent”Shut your mouth you’ll let the flies in” look plus the expression of terror that someone will think he’s romantically involved with this chick, when he’s just her bodyguard who is attempting to protect her from rabid Josh Duhamel fans.
As much as the outfit makes me cringe I think we are much more creative than to resort to calling someone ‘retarded,’ even if qualified by the word “mildly.” Stacy has given us more than enough to work with — we don’t need to equate someone’s disability with a fugness this severe. That just isn’t right.
Me and my cousin Ray Bob think we saw this same gal working the overnight parkin’ lot at Perlis Truck Stop in Cordele, Georgia just last Saturday night when we pulled off for some pork rinds and Yahoos.
I’d take you home, honey, but I already got a dog.
it’s not a shrug, it’s waterwings!!! lay off her, the poor girl can’t swim!
Oh Stacy. I would be remiss to make a comment about the BEP song “Let’s Get Retarded” being taken too literally, given the above poster’s disdain for snark related to the mentally challenged… But come on. That outfit looks like it was picked out by someone who is challenged in some way.
Or maybe she threw darts on her “Trends for Spring ’05″ chart until she had enough clothes to go outside? And yes, she did get the rat dog as well. Can’t you see? Its in her left hand. It just died, because you know Lenny? The guy behind her? She let him pet it. But he “petted it too hard, George”. So she’s looking for a dumpster or something to throw it in. Yeah I know.
Is anyone noticing that Fergie looks more and more like Courtney Love every day?
Too right, Blackirish. I was going to comment that Fergie’s propensity for extreme fug is a result of her past drug abuse but you beat me to it. Deeper still –wassup with the slack-jawed yokel expression on her face – and the face of her companion/bodygaurd? Just when I got rid of the theme from Deliverance out of my head from the Masterson pic . . . it’s baaaaack.
Are you sure that’s a shrug? It looks to me like she’s wearing (also-trendy) legwarmers. On her arms.
I’m waiting for the offended poster, panties in a bunch over our non-pc blogging, to remark “I *am* developmentally disabled and it is so uncool to call that guy retarded! And I’m an expert on retards!”
c’mon people, if you’re going to be that sensitive on behalf of the disabled…well that’s very compassionate of you and all, but let’s try to stick with the subject of fug here. All you’re doing in encouraging more arguing and flaming between posters, and we’ve had enough of that with the last Bai Ling incident. If someone posts a comment and you’re offended by it, try and remember that if *that’s* the worst thing that’s happened to you all day, then you’ve had a pretty good day.
End of lecture, carry on.
By the by, that hair of hers looks distinctly unwashed and I bet she has that burnt-skin tanning bed smell to her. eew.
—-Its like a “Wet Seal” exploded all over her. (The store not the animal.)—-
I disagree. From the looks of that hair-DON’T, both the store AND the animal exploded all over her.
Lanus
Fug Eyed Peas? Black Eyed Fugs? Black Fugged Peas?
I got it — It’s Fuggie from the Fug Fugged Fugs!
It just died, because you know Lenny? The guy behind her? She let him pet it. But he “petted it too hard, George”.
Brilliant, Adamp. That is so utterly true. I laughed for a straight minute over that.
I think Josh Duhamel needs glasses. He can’t seriously find her attractive, or at least, her outfit. If you can call it an outfit.
I agree with the reservations about calling her companion mildly retarded. The PC way to describe him is “he graduated from rock’n'roll high school with a minor in shitting his pants.”
The collagen! Oh dear God, the collagen!
Would not be reading this if I were offended by witty un-pc remarks. I just think that if the Jessica and Heather can run an entertaining and sharp tongued site without using deragatory stereotypes than those who post comments should, too. There is a difference between calling out an individual’s fashion misgivings or sheer stupidity and comparing said stupidity to those with disabilities.
Let’s drop the “retarded guy” angle please, on both sides. Thank you.
For someone who claims to have kicked a drug habit, she always looks wasted in all of her pictures. Methinks she’s substituted meth for crack.
ADAMP, I think I love you…
that outfit is awful. what the hell do you think shes got in that oddly bulging pocket?
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/rjmoya/staceyfergie.jpg
I forgot how ugly she was on Kids Incorporated. Now, of course, I can’t get that stupid theme song out of my head.
K! I! D! S!
Woohoo!!
At first glance, I thought it was a desperate ploy by Renee Russo to get back into showbiz. Think back to “Outbreak”…anyone see the resemblance? Anyone?
“Hey mama, this that shit that makes us sick mama
Get off the drugs and stop the botox mama
You the fug mistress fuggin’ up the jamma”
(rewind)
Oh Fuggie. You have always been a fashion disaster. However, I can’t imagine even you would voluntarily put that hideous furry thing on your arms, so I can only assume your stylist has a sense of humour. It is, after all, the colour of warning signs. As in WARNING: EXTREME FUG APPROACHING.
well, it got her noticed!
x
Sarah – BRILLIANT!
When I turned eight. Donny Osmond was my hero. My birthday cake was purple. When my aunt cut the cake, I could see her nipples. What a slut. I ended up test screening for Kids Incorporated. The pilot episodes were filmed at Osmond Studios in Provo Utah. I don’t remember if I met Fergie then. But a few years ago I toured a bit with No Doubt. Black Eyed Peas were the opening act. Fergie wasn’t yet in the band. So I didn’t meet her then either. But, she looks just like my aunt who flashed me her nipples. I’m sure she must be a slut.
My apologies Jessica, for my Steinbeck referenced fugging.
She appears to have been attacked by an orange handcuff blob, and in a vain attempt to get rid of it via Ashtanga Yoga or whatever celebrities are doing now, she accidentally got the blob up to her elbows instead of getting rid of it.
I totally DON’T symphatise, Fergie.
She appears to have been attacked by an orange handcuff blob, and in a vain attempt to get rid of it via Ashtanga Yoga or whatever celebrities are doing now, she accidentally got the blob up to her elbows instead of getting rid of it.
I totally DON’T symphatise, Fergie.
http://www.geocities.com/adalmin
A brooch would TOTALLY complete this look.
Is it just me or is she starting to look just like Lisa Rina (sp?)? The super boniness, the excess collegen, the bad excess tan, the deep desire to show off the sharpity sharp hip bones, the unwillingness to let go of even ONE passing fashion fad…it’s all there. Maybe they’re sisters?
She looks really hot for a 67-year old woman. I admire aging chanteuses that refuse to support the Botox industry.
Oh…. wait a minute! That’s just her horrid fake tan that appears to have aged her 30 odd years. Well done there, Fergie.
mmmm culottes.
The fella in the background is a Cletus/Federline wanna be! He brags he can ace Cletus in any challenge of wits.
Why did he show up here? Well he wanted to announce his Cletus intentions to Ms. Fergie on the Federlines birthday! He wants to start a courting! And he needs some good ol’ Cletus carma. And isn’t Fergie a candidate with her fug faux pas’ reminiscent of
Britknee before her breakdown?
Yup, today is The Feddy’s birthday and I am buying Lotto tickets! Could there ever be a luckier day?
Looks like we made it, we’re Kids Incorporated! I’ll be singing that all afternoon.
Also of note – the furry shrug in question matches her man friend’s shirt. Awwwww! Friends who fug together stay together! I love his Beastie Boys circa Ill Communications sideways baseball cap combined with the 1994 “grunge still rules!” flannel, and the 2000 “orange is the new black” t-shirt. Maybe Fergie gives him her old “hot trends & kewl outfits I saw in People magazine” diaries so he can try to catch up to the latest in fashion.
ETA: Dear lord, I think I was mistaken. What I mistook for a flannel shirt is actually some sort of slovenly, ill-fitting checkered coat. Wow.
“Deranged elderly bag-lady”–NOT a good look.
And the award for fashion victim of the year goes to Fergie. Plus, some tabloids got the genius idea to show some old pictures of her before she got an extreme makeover (eye lift, collagen, sillicone implants etc…) and believe me she wasn’t that hot back in the days. Poor Josh: he got punk’d!!!!
She’s all off-kilter. Either one of her legs is way longer than the other (and it’s not just the crinked-up way she’s standing) or Sam, you made the pants too…um… asymmetrical.
How many Elmos had to die to make that shrug? Jim Henson is crying in heaven.
But…but…but… What *is* that in her hand?!
OMG… I can’t believe that’s Stacy from Kids Incorporated… my question is, just HOW was she able to afford the Paris Hilton plastic surgery plan (with the Pamela Anderson Bodacious-Boobie Barbie doll option)??? And the Black Eyed Peas were bad enough before she joined the group, with their awful “music” and their individual offenses of fug. They’ve made fug a full time job, this group… did they finally decide that they just weren’t fugly enough all on their own, and they needed to add the icing to the cake, by hiring a whiny-voiced, plasticine skankbot to complete the assault on our collective senses?
http://blissfullyclueless.blogspot.com/
I’m wondering if she got sentenced to community service for something– the day-glo orange and neon yellow just scream “crossing guard”.
Hope she has a nifty sash to wear with it.
Fergie, it’s called shampoo. You use it in the shower. You know the shower, it’s a little room in your house where water comes out of a shiny faucet. Try it you might like it. What the hell, while your at it you should check out this thing called a mirror. I would reccomend the full length version. Thanks.
“But…but…but… What *is* that in her hand?!”
it’s a glove from her 8th trend of the evening, falconry. her spanking new pet falcon, shizzle, is trained to dive bomb paparazzi, yank out weaves on command, and can crap on a chihuahua inside a louis vuitton bag from 30 feet in the air. fergie and lil shizzle have been inseperable since she got him (yesterday at about 11), but tonight she’s put him in her bodyguard’s oversized pants pocket and taken off the glove. paris hilton’s not there.
I just wanna say that I am seriously digging on the black nail polish.
Shrug or two orange tribbles? Is she holding a monkey?
Oh god- not the return of the fake tan!!!!! What IS it with these people???
she looks like a tanned/extension wearing courtney love. it’s odd.
Funny you should mention tribbles. ‘Cause in that IMDB pic someone posted way up-thread, she looks like one of those “exotic” “alien” chicks Kirk used to hook up with all the time. Emphasis on the “alien.”
Cicelyfairfield: you owe me a new keyboard.
This girl is so fake that she probably sh#ts plastic!!!!
You know what bugs me? It’s not that she’s always wearing trucker hats — it’s that she’s always wearing the SAME trucker hat. I’ve seen that green hat with the yellow blob on it in several other fuglicious photos of her. Surely she can afford to buy other ugly hats.
Rene Russo?- yes.
KIDS…OMG, yes.
I am dying one thousand deaths ova here…good stuff!
jessica, thank you for bringing words like ‘tanorexia’ to my knowledge, now I can fully but briefly express my thoughts ……
Has no one mentioned the boots yet? I know cowboy boots aren’t supposed to be tight, but she’s sportin’ a lot of space between her shoe and her calf. She could fit a whole ‘nother Fergie in there.
I cannot believe that she dates Josh Duhamel. Because he is totally the anti-fug. She must not have been wearing this when they first met.
is she just showcasing her new breasts? why else would anyone wear dayglo orange, yellow and khaki?
http://luckycrackers.blogspot.com/
Argh! Does Lisa Rinna know you’re using her lips?
“it’s not a shrug, it’s waterwings”
I TOTALLY thought the same thing!
And have y’all seen her eyebrows? They frighten me. Seriously.
There is no way in hell Fergie is only 30. Shes at least inching up to mid 40s. She looks OLD
Glad I’m not the only one to whom she’ll always be Stacy from Kids Incorporated — Her and “Love” – Jennifer Love Hewitt. Mario Lopez for that matter.
She looks like she got dressed in the dark.
Is she still “dating” Josh Duhamel? What a fricken’ shame that is. He’s brilliant and adorable and ALWAYS looks good.
No wonder you don’t see them in public together (if they still are together). No matter how good the sex is, you just can’t justify the way that girl/woman/thing? always looks.
I’m reminded of the line from A Fish Called Wanda:
“To call you stupid is an insult to stupid people!”
I’m reminded of the line from A Fish Called Wanda:
“To call you stupid is an insult to stupid people!”
Contrary to her, Josh Duhamel is a natural person. He’s genetically gifted with good looks. But Fergie is the fakest celebrity on earth. She’s addicted to plastic surgery.
The trouble with not mentioning the developmentally disabled is that she and her cohorts sang a SONG called Let’s Get Retarded in Here.
Then again, more often than not I hear Let’s Get It Started in Here. So maybe there should be two flavas of fug commenting, per post. Girlfriend NO and Girlfriend PLEASE.
At any rate even during that music video I remember crying out that the Ugly Forest had uprooted itself and attacked an innocent girl.
SHE CATCHES HER REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR AND THINKS; “OH FUG” EQUAL PARTS GWEN STEFANI, LIL KIM, ASHLEE AND JESSICA SIMPSON, AND A SMIDGE OF PAMELA ANDERSON. YUCK
large emergency floatation devises implanted in chest. CHECK!
I’m late, but I cry-laughed when I read this so I had to say something. Just discovered your site, yes better late than pregnant. So I’m going to poke around here some more.
i’d so hit that lol