Fug Fiennes

I realize he was pretty smoldering in The English Patient, and that Jessica once had a (well-deserved) shrine to him in her college dorm room, but I do think that slumming it alongside Jennifer Lopez Noa Judd almost-Affleck Anthony has slowly sucked the life out of Ralph Fiennes.

Don’t get me wrong:  I’m not even saying he’s fugly, really. And his shirt, below, is quite a sassy color. But there’s something in his coif… he looks like he’s trying to corner the celluloid serial killer market — perhaps campaigning to make the role of Younger Hannibal Lecter the new and ever-so-slightly more carnivorous James Bond:

[Photo by Daily Celeb.]

“Clariiiiiice… you stole my Rogaine, Clariiiiiice… I had to eat the hair plugs off Larry King last night, and it’s murder to pick those out of your teeth, Clariiiiiiice, especially if you want to wear them… And I don’t even LIKE men who taste like formaldehyde, Clariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice…”