Fug In The City

“… Yeah, boss? I have Kim Cattrall here, trying to leave the store… No, no, she’s not shoplifting anything, I have her receipts in my hand. But the issue is that she’s wearing an orange newsboy cap. … No, it doesn’t really match her dress. … Hmm, I’d say it’s like a soft white, with polka dots and some odd formations that look like palm-tree tops, or like clumps of those shavings from a Magna Doodle… I liked Magna Doodle, too, sir, but in my opinion, Etch-A-Sketch was the more satisfying user experience… Oh, well, sure, obviously, but Lite Brite isn’t really the same type of thing as Etch-A-Sketch, so that’s really an apples-to-oranges comparison. … Anyway, sir, the problem is, she’s wearing this orange hat and she’s trying to go out into the wild that way, and it is pretty ridiculous, for sure…  Yeah, we’re on the cameras, take a look. … Heh, the lead shavings do sort of look like back hair… Should I allow her to leave? … No, that’s true, Samantha Jones probably wouldn’t want her memory tarnished in this manner… Okay, thanks, boss — where should we stash her? Stockroom 5? Great. I’m on break in 2 minutes so I’ll lock her up then.”