Chloë Moretz sure is growing up fast. Every time I see a preview for the new Tim Burton Dark Shadows I think, “Chloë Moretz is turning out really gorgeous.” Well, actually, first I think, “Johnny Depp needs to take a break from Tim Burton movies because this is getting maybe kinda of schticky,” and then I think, “also, why does Johnny Depp sound like Madonna in interviews now?” and then I think “Michelle Pfeiffer looks great. I’ve missed her,” and then I think, “this movie looks sorta terrible, but maybe entertaining. What do I know?” and then I think, “I do love HBC,” and then I think, “Was I the only person in America who really loved the short-lived Dark Shadows reboot they did in 1991 starring Joanna Going and Joseph Gordon-Levitt?” and then I fall down a wormhole of Wikipedia and learn that a) Joanna Going and Dylan Walsh were married for years and are only now getting divorced, and b) “Though the series premiered to great success, watched by nearly 1 in 4 households according to ratings of the period, NBC frequently pre-empted or abruptly re-scheduled later episodes in favor of news coverage during the onset of the Gulf War.” NBC, even in 1991, sort of didn’t know how to handle two things at once, it appears.
And THEN I reflect on how pretty CM is:
HOWEVER (I’m sure you knew this was coming): I think I wore that dress in 1991, and by “wore it,” I mean I sat on it and watched Dark Shadows and ate Bugles.
What do you think? Unleash in the comments.
