I really want to give Carly Rae Jepsen a makeover. And no, it isn’t because her team is desperate for us to think she’s sixteen, not twenty-six, although that doesn’t HELP.
It’s just… she almost NEVER wears anything flattering. It’s not about age; it’s about being nice to your figure. The other week she was on 90210, and she was in the world’s most unflattering tiny shorts; now, here she is again, in another pair, which look like she just hemmed a pair of men’s gymnastics tights. The outfit is terrible on her tiny, petite body, and the overlong, slicked down hair hugging overlong, slicked down bangs obscures too much of her face. None of this works on her, and yet she wears a variation on this theme a lot. I find myself wishing she’d Miley herself, or at least go Emma Watson with an unexpected pixie cut, just to see what it does. And then fire — gently, and with sympathy pay; it’s a rough time to be unemployed — the person who keeps putting her in rompers, high-waisted and/or overalls-adjacent shorts, and tutus. It’s time. If she wants some help, she’s welcome to call me. Maybe. Oh, come on, you knew that was coming.
Comments (21):
who put’s this on and thinks “perfect – i found the one”? it’s just unfathomable.
if i had her figure, i would look amazing on the red carpet, even with my current clothes budget.
I know some 12-year olds who would find this outfit too babyish. And that hair is awful. She’s a pair of sunglasses away from being Cousin Itt, and not in a good way.
Great minds think alike- Cousin It, indeed. The hair, unbelievably, is even worse than the full diaper romper with twee Peter Pan collar.
She looks like one of Disney’s lesser known tween TV stars in this outfit.
I haven’t seen that kind of diaper-looking shorts since the summer of 1982. They must be sanctioned with extreme prejudice immediately.
Ugh that HAIR drives me nutty…. I can’t get past it to even see the “shorts”. Probably a good thing.
Honestly, I’ve worn more attractive outfits than this at the gym.
The look on her face says it all. Even she thinks this sucks.
The other thing that kills me is this (Lemme pull out my soapbox): What is so wrong with looking like you’re a woman in your mid twenties? She shouldn’t have to dress like a wanna-be teeny bopper to sell music. She had a great, catchy song! Even adults like it! Stop infantizing yourself. Be proud that you made it through your teens! And for god’s sake get your hair out of your face.
Why can’t she look like this all the time:
Fashion Cover
Too big and too sloppy.
Need help inventing a Stefonism for, you know, that THING where stylists decide that a demi-star should stay wholesome-ish in the boobs department but still want to make sure we know they are cute and so decide to put them in wee shorts and miniskirts no matter what the occasion (see also: Gomez, Selena).
Jessica Biel’s mini-me?
I think she and Avril Lavigne have a secret young off competition.
At least when their careers tank, they can always moonlight for the PD and be jailbaits and (not really) minors buying assorted adult stuff.
A front wedgie is never an attractive look.
Indeed, this does remind me of the mandatory rompers we had to wear in gym class in high school – back in the SEVENTIES. And stand up straight, young lady! And get your hair out of your eyes! And get off my lawn!
Phew. My mothering moment just passed.
I got after you once for one of her outfits… it wasn’t that bad. But this one. Hideous. I absolutely agree.
Are we sure this is shorts and not a terrible miniskirt-underwear-elastic accident?
She really looks ridiculous… It’s impossible for me to take her seriously! FUG!
I’m so not a fan of the depressed-bangs look.
I HATE those stupid bangs. Ugh.
There’s the wacked shorts outfit again.