Fug-Teeq

Alesha Dixon — formerly of girl group Mis-Teeq, and current judge on Strictly Come Dancing, the title construction of which I have never fully understood, presumably because I am an American and we’d say something like, Just Come Dancing? I don’t know. I assume it’s like a petrol/gas, garden/yard, pudding/dessert thing. Right? Is it? What does Strictly Come Dancing MEAN? Can someone translate? What am I talking about again? Where am I?

Oh, right: Alesha:

Oh, honey. Halloween was AGES ago. Maybe it’s better from the back? Although if that’s the case, that just means you have to spent this entire event talking to people over your shoulder:

[Photo: WENN.com]

No no no no no. Not better. Not better at all. Although, in fairness, I must say that skirt looks comfortably squashy — like you’re wearing a seat cushion all over town. That must come in handy when you have to sit for a long time on an uncomfortable hard surface — like a pew in the place of worship of your choice. Thank god I cracked it! This dress is NOT a Halloween costume, nor is it a rejected uniform for the barmaids at Universal City Walk’s Wild Wild West Hot Wing Bar and Grille: it is what I shall wear to midnight Mass this year! MY MOTHER WILL BE THRILLED!!