Fug the Cover: Jessica Alba

Riddle me this: if you didn’t know it was Jessica Alba on the cover of Allure, would you waltz past it in the supermarket and think, “Hey, there’s Jessica Alba!” or would you think, “is Allure using random models now? Hey — is that the last bag of Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos? UNHAND THEM, YOU FOOL!” She looks pretty, but she doesn’t look like herself. She actually looks sort of like Leighton Meester to me, crossed with someone who blinks really, really slowly and is excessively Photoshopped. In fact, she looks so sleepy here, I wouldn’t be surprised if her eyes were closed in the next few snaps.  Which I understand — she’s pregnant! of course she’s knackered! go take a nap, Jessica! — but it maybe isn’t the MOST awesome choice for a magazine cover.

On the other hand, I freely admit that I’m sort of looking forward to reading Where the Hair and Makeup Pros Shop. I hope it’s, like, True Value Hardware and the medical supply stores, because otherwise I think I can guess.