Fug The Cover: Kylie on Vogue

We weren’t going to say anything about this, because Kylie Minogue has been through a lot and we are surprisingly soft-hearted when we forget to take our meds. But then we slowly realized that what has happened to her on the cover of Australian Vogue is not Kylie’s fault. Therefore, we can show you the monstrosity without guilt.

Without further ado, except for the ado of adding another preceding sentence rather than just tossing it up:

What have those wizards of Oz done with the nation’s favorite pert-bummed princess? Her skin isn’t pale, it’s pasty; her eyes are all askew, she’s dressed like a warrior princess of yore who just discovered Like A Virgin, and they have gone to great lengths to enhance whatever innately rabbity qualities her teeth may have. In fact, overall, she looks completely hammered. Off-her-tree plastered. And I think a woman who just survived breast cancer deserves a little better, wouldn’t you say? Something classy, something sexy, something that proves she’s still every bit the bombshell she was before she grappled with the disease. Instead she got an audition photo for Terminator 4. And as much as I’d like to see her out there working, that’s not exactly what I had in mind.