Fug the Cover: UK Cosmopolitan

This cover is mind-bogglingly unattractive:

It is fug on a Peldon-shaped platter. It is the festering volcanic pustule on the chin of the Fugtown Express’s oily conductor. I do know that it’s hard to compete with cover lines of such stunning genius as “My Designer Vagina Transformed My Sex Life,” and “Leeches Stopped My Nipple From Falling Off.” Really, I sympathize with Fergie, because outshining those gems is an uphill battle. But the fact remains that, if this photo is to be believed, Fergie needs to stop worrying about her heart so much and start phunking with her estrogen levels.