IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR:
(Click on the pic and see this blessed kard full-size).
If last year’s card depicted a family of asshole maitre d’s, and the year before that looked like the bus ad for the third season of a cut-rate nighttime soap, then THIS year is cheery, cheery, cheery — or as cheery as you can be when your holiday card features a DEAD CAT IN A GLASS BOX. I mean, I presume that poor animal was alive when the photo was taken, and of course one doesn’t just blithely photoshop out a family member who happens to take her final jaunt up to the great catnip fields in the sky during the several weeks between your massive holiday photoshoot and the day you mail out your cards, but here is the real question: WHY IS THAT CAT IN A BOX TO BEGIN WITH? Is this some Schrodinger’s Cat joke that finally proves once and for all that the Kardashians are way smarter than anyone gives them credit for? Is the cat just trying to get as far away from Scott Disick’s bare ankles as possible? Are they trying to set me up for a “Dick in a Box”-inspired joke that is really just too dirty for me to make on this family website (and which I also can’t quite nail [no further pun intended])? Does Kim keep all her pets in the finest organizational accoutrements from The Container Store? Is this just the holiday card version of when your cat gets all stressed and decided to hide under the bed FOREVER or until you start using the can opener? HELP ME UNDERSTAND YOUR VISION, KARDASHIANS.
I will say, in the interest of holiday peace and joy, that — leaving aside the relative wisdom of including A CAT IN A BOX on your holiday card instead of Kanye West (in fairness, Kanye would never consent to being photographed inside a box; he can not…ahem. CAN NOT BE CONTAINED) — this card is actually kind of kute. I don’t know why Rob is being a DJ back there — is he a DJ now? I thought he was a trouser sock magnate — but everyone actually looks legitimately happy, and Scott is serving true Patrick Bateman realness, which is also HIS code for being legitimately happy. Khloe is five minutes away from “accidentally” pouring her champers onto Kris’s head, which makes ME happy, and also, I am thrilled that she and Lamar are still married because I love them together. DON’T JUDGE ME, IT’S THE HOLIDAYS.
Comments (110):
YESSSSS!!! (I havent even looked at the card yet.)
Let’s just all look at how adorable little Penelope is. That is adorable. That dress is adorable. That baby. THAT. BABY.
The card doesn’t zoom big enough for me to discern the adorableness of said baby. Maybe I’m doing it wrong? Anyway, I can see that she is wearing a headband. And since this IS a fashion website, I do feel that I can state my very, very unpopular opinion about babies and headbands, which is that they are unnecessary, silly, and often detract from a baby’s inherent cuteness. The baby doesn’t have hair…why does she need a headband? It’s like gilding the lily. I know. Everyone puts headbands on their babies, so prepare for the backlash in three, two, one…
I’m with you on the baby headbands. They just look silly and I think are probably a bit uncomfortable for the baby. We had an incident with an inconsolable 6 month-old who became a bubbly, happy baby as soon as the headband was removed.
I too think that headbands are yucky. Bleh. Babies have amazing heads why ruin it with a piece of ugly shiny fabric? Also, this is pretty much the only time everyone looks awesome bold – why derail it?
Mom? What are you doing on here? LOL.
Seriously, my mom HATES the headbands on babies phenomenon, and anytime I tried to put one on one of my kids, she immediately yanked it off. So you are in good company.
A.J., your mom and I should hang out sometime. She sounds like a woman of action and sound convictions.
it’s so you won’t get girl babies mixed up with boy babies
Because that would be the worst thing that could ever happen, LOL.
Listen, for those of who encounter a friend with a new baby and can’t determine the sex, and spend those awkward few moments gushing about “Oh, your little . . . one is so adorable!,” contextual clues like the headband are much appreciated
.
Also, Lucille Austero, love your username.
I hate babies with headbands. I have a boy baby, so maybe I just don’t get it, but…seriously. Headbands look ridiculous. If you are worried people will think your baby girl is a boy — and that bothers you — put her in a dress and tights. Or pink. If someone still thinks she is a boy, a headband wasn’t going to help (whcih is a comment on the person, not your probably adorable baby).
I tried, but my daughter refused to put anything on her head for the first year of her life, and has only now stated her love for “bows” that barely have enough hair to clip in.
HATE baby headbands!!!
WITH YOU!
I hate hate hate baby headbands too. I just want to pull it off when I see a poor little girl trapped in one.
I think the headbands are for bald baby girls so that no one mistakes them for boys! That’s the only reason I can think of.
I think you and sarah are right about that, Trace.
And IMO it’s cute for a photo, but I wouldn’t put one on a baby any other time.
My mom claims she would Scotch tape bows to my head because I was practically bald until the age of two.
Yay! I hate the brain-bandages too! I’m pretty sure they only exist as a way to say “my baby is a GIRL, dammit!” without any words. Blecch. So what if the baby is bald. The frilly dress usually serves the purpose.
A soft, fuzzy pink hat would do the trick, too, and also keep that hairless little head warm.
Love babies, can’t stand baby headbands. They are absurd. Baby hats and bonnets on the other hand are precious.
OMG. My people! I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE baby headbands. So unnecessary and they look so bad. I read recently that they are strangulation hazards so maybe they’ll go away?
It might be my moniter but everything is so washed out. I had to SEARCH for the cat (I almost said p***Y, but Im classier than that) in the box. I have to say, I think everyone looks pretty good! Kendall and Kylie are seriously beautiful. Khloe/Lamar and Kourtney/Scott/Kids look great. And Kim is just there…forever alone. haha
ye Kendall and Kylie do look phenominal. Who knew that in order to produce even better looking kids you needed a Jenner?
Kendall yes (OMG, those legs!).. Kylie, not so much.
What a treasure, thanks GFG!
Kendall is beautiful, no doubt about it. Kylie is the Khloe of that sisterhood, IMO. AND she seems to have inherited the “me me me me me” gene of Kim’s.
They all look ridiculous, but if they didn’t, we’d all be disappointed. lol
These people turn me into Scrooge.
I am kind of koncerned that Kendall, who is all of 17 years old, is one Tyra-Banks booty-tooch away from making this the world’s fist NSFW Christmas card.
*First. D’oh.
THIS. I know the K’s brand is built on whoring out their progeny for fun and profit so nothing surprises me anymore but…pearls? Clutched.
I cannot WAIT until Kim marries Kanye and he starts appearing in these.
To be honest, that’s what disappointed me the most about this – the serious lack of KANYE (or any KANYE-replacement shenanigans). I mean, gossip bloggers across the internet are reduced to talking about the cat in the box, which is just downright cruel if you think about it.
It’s like opening up an iPad Mini box for Christmas (or Hanukkah) and finding one of those Chinese Android knockoffs that get sold in sketchy electronics stores for $100 inside. That runs Froyo.
All I’m saying is that the Kardashian-Jenners kould have at least thought of the gossipers while putting together their kristmas kard. They already do the other 364.25 days of the year
I’m betting against them marrying. I think if they were that serious, he’d be here.
And I also would have loved to see Kanye in this, in a white leather skirt! He wears the heck out of a skirt IMO.
I was TRULY HOPING for a post on this today. YESSS!!!! Thank you ladies. I didn’t think my day could get any better with a hot date tonight, but this post and its hilarity was the cherry on top!!
Wait, there’s a Kardashian BROTHER? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?? Also, shouldn’t his name be Krob rather than Rob?
Annnnd Coke Zero, meet keyboard. Thanks, I needed that.
OMG hilarious! Krob Kardashian forever.
I just laughed so hard I snorted!! Thanks for that! Aaah, tears! Lol!
Where is Khloe? I know she is there, but where is her waist, tummy, boobs. She is not tinier than Kim.
Scott is my favorite on this one. I hope he never changes.
I have an inordanant love for Scott as well. It just feels like he’s the one who really sees what’s happening and has really just devided to have fun with it. It kind of looks like his daughter is going to follow in his steps judging by her ‘what EXACTLY is going on here? Mom? Dad?’ face.
er, decided.
I always think it’s weird that Bruce’s kids from his previous marriages are nowhere to be seen. I mean, I’m not sure I’d want to be in this either, but still.
I agree – I mean, they are part of the family – so strange!
I feel like they must be like, “f this.”
Agreed, Jessica! I imagine there was one year when Kris started showing them some mock-up of the card and ordering them to wear krazy outfits, and they all went “yeeeeah, I think we’re busy that day…” Like normal people.
Bruce Jenner’s face looks as though it was painted by the elderly Spanish woman who “restored” the fresco of Jesus.
I wondered where Bruce Jenner was…and who the grandma was..then i realized that the grandma WAS Bruce Jenner. Um….plastic surgery advisory to all…..
Ldraxx– Oh my god, I love. I spit cookie on my keyboard because I originally had the same thought. I thought it was an elderly aunt. I’m not trying to be mean; I truly couldn’t figure it out!
This comment and the ones below had me laughing all day.
Bwah ha ha Squirrel!
Who is that old lady behind Scott? Oh it’s Bruce Jenner….
Poor Kendall or Kylie, or whichever one is obviously not a model. But she’ll probably (hopefully?) end up being better adjusted. Think Kim vs. Khloe. Speaking of Kim, why is she the only one allowed to have an embellished frock?
Kylie is the non model, and she’s hardly better adjusted. She’s dating some rock/ pop type and occasionally gets to ride Kendall’s coat tails on runway/modeling stuff, but that’s about it.
Kim is the most famous and mamma’s main kash kow so she’s the only one who’s allowed a beadazzled Kristmas frock.
The Kardashian Kard has arrived. Let the Kristmas season begin!
I hope this is okay to post, but did you know that you can BUY a Schrodinger’s cat “executive decision maker”? I sort of really want one. Maybe this is the Kardashians’ subtle way of asking Santa.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/e9cb/?srp=1
That is hilarious!
Eonline has a retrospective of all their cards but who are all these random blonde girls? Bruce’s daughter? I swear one looks like Candace Cameron from Full House.
http://uk.eonline.com/shows/kardashians/photos/2749/kardashian-kards-of-christmas-past#105043
Bruce’s kids are in that one. But the one that I assume you’re comparing to Candace (curly hair, next to Bruce) is actually Khloe. She has naturally light, curly hair that she darkens and straightens, presumably to blend in (or it has naturally darkened and straightened with time).
Khloe with her original coloring and hair, Kim with her original face. Khloe dyed her hair very blonde right before her father’s death (supposedly at his request…?) and she looked very good like that. She also dyed her red a year or two ago but changed it back after Kris complained that Khloe was ruining the Kardashian ‘brand’ by not being a carbon of Kim.
That would be Khloe with the curly hair. For real.
Why is Ryan Seacrest in one of the cards?
I am not entirely sure which one is Kim. Did the Photoshop genies change her face?
Kim’s second from the left. I’m sorry to say I’d know her hips anywhere, even after this much photo editing.
Who are these people (other than “the khardashians and bruce jenner”)? For the terribly uninformed, can you provide names from left to right?
O Holy Photoshop.
Merry ReTouched Christmas everyone! I know what Kris asked for . . . Photoshop!
I hate that I kind of love Rob. He was adorable on DWTS (which I also hate that I kind of love).
Are we entirely sure they didn’t have the deceased cat stuffed for the photo? I have no trouble imagining this family doing just that.
Yeah. I’m not sure the cat is alive here.
The baby is cute, the headband is not. But the baby clearly sees what’s ahead of her. It’s written on her face.
Bruce Jenner legit looks like my freshman year Women’s Studies professor rocking her “fancy” clothes. Well, she was a blonde, but it’s still too close for comfort.
When can Kanye join in family pictures? I need a white leather skirt in a Christmas card.
Have a look at the Penelope Disick entries in Suri’s Burn Book. The kid may only be a baby but she knows what she’s been born into…
I’m just wondering if calling the card “kind of kute” was purposely done, or if it was some sort of subconscious reaction to posting about all the Kardashians?
purposely.
The younger Kardashian on the right – her legs don’t really line up realistically with the rest of her. But she seems having a good time anyway.
I’m not bugged that the kitty is no longer with us, I’m annoyed that at the time of the kitty’s passage, the kitty was no longer with Kim, but adopted by someone else because Kim couldn’t care for it or allergies or what not (not to mention teacup persians and the like are pretty much kitty non grata with cat associations as they are massively inbred and victim to genetic problems). So maybe having the cat in a box is fitting, since it was treated more as a prop during its too brief life than a pet and companion.
More prop than pet. Too true.
Does Kim even realise that most cats live at home and do their own thing? I would think most cats would be quite distressed about being shoved in a handbag or a box and dragged around town pursued by paparazzi with flashing cameras. It’s just a mean thing to do to any cat, let alone a tiny kitten. I’m seriously concerned about the possibility of Kim Kardashian reproducing at some point.
Who’s the old lady next to the toddler?
If anyone needs convincing that there is such a thing as too much cosmetic surgery, they should look at Bruce. Scary.
I also love Khloe and Lamar together. Have you ever noticed that they have THE SAME FACE? Look closely.
None of these people is beautiful but they look happy (except for the sourpuss upfront in the middle.) And, kitty in a box? WTF?
I am thankful every day that I am not in this insufferable family. No love for this lot of losers!
Khloe is also giving Kris a butt halo, and now I can’t see anything else.
Well, I guess I am moved to tears easily this week, but the Schrodingers Cat bit put me right over the edge. Bravo, Fug Girls. Bravo.
Bruce Jenner looks like a corpse. that is all…
GFY Girls – THANK YOU.
That’s all.
I think the only toy that Scott Disick’s parents ever gave him was the original Wall Street movie on a continuous loop.
when, exactly, did madame tussauds replace the real bruce?
I’ve read that both Khloe and Scott had to be photoshopped in due to scheduling conflicts…could be why Scott looks completely out of place (“this is my fun face”) and Khloe looks like half her body weight is missing!
Why is Rob Kardashian holding a hairdryer?
Oh my goodness. . .
I have followed your blog for years. I first came here for the fashion but I have stayed all of this time b/c of little gems like this:
“serving true Patrick Bateman realness”
Someone really needs to put these delusional creeps down, but it is nice that they seem to have included old Aunt Mabel this year . . . oops, sorry, that’s Bruce.
….at least they’re all smiling this time?
I think everyone in this picture, even the children, are majorly photoshopped. Even the cat. Especially the cat. Poor thing.
Yeah, why ISN’T his name Krob? or Krobert?
Coffee all over my keyboard & screen, thanks to the ‘aunt Mabel/ Bruce’ & Krob comments. I loooove them, they have made my week
Oh my god, that actually is a dead cat in a box isn’t it?! Apart from that heinous bit of taxidermy, last year’s is way better – they actually look they can stomach each other in this!
I actually really like this one too & it’s definitely their best card of the ones we’ve seen. Everyone looks cute & happy so I can live with it.
Whew, close up reveals that the “box” is open:
http://kimkardashian.celebuzz.com/2012/12/18/a-close-look-at-our-2012-christmas-card/kardashian-family-christmas-card-2012-nick-saglimbeni-close-ups-007/
Wait, that’s Bruce Jenner’s happy face? I couldn’t tell. It looks so much like his angry face, which looks a lot like his concerned face, which… You know where I’m going with this.
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these really are the tackiest people in America. Go the hell away already.
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Kim in the mirror dancing so sleezy, where are you, Yeezy?
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