Fug In Revolt

MICHAEL CERA: Hello, Portia.

PORTIA DOUBLEDAY: Hi, Michael.

MICHAEL: What’s going–

PORTIA: Aren’t you going to say hello to Dave?

MICHAEL: Who’s Dave?

PORTIA: Um, my dog? 

MICHAEL: You brought your DOG? To a movie premiere?

PORTIA: Well, he’s better groomed than your hair. Did no one tell you the Monkees broke up?

MICHAEL: Did no one tell you that YOU BROUGHT A DOG TO A MOVIE PREMIERE?

PORTIA: What’s the big deal?

MICHAEL: This is essentially your first movie, and you have a lead role, and it’s a big deal, and now you’re making yourself That Girl Who Brought A Dog To A Movie Premiere. That, or That Girl I Thought Was Aubrey O’Day, Because Seriously, Unless The Movie Is Woof Woof: A Dog’s Tale, And It’s In Dog With English Subtitles, Only Aubrey O’Day Is Screwy Enough To Bring Her Dog To An M’F'ing Movie Premiere.

PORTIA: That’s a lot of capital letters.

MICHAEL: Oh, DO shut up, Portia. I can’t even look at you. I can barely even SEE your dress. Whoever loaned it to you is going to see these pictures and think, “Wow, that is wrinkled, and also, there is a dog stuck to it.”

PORTIA: You should let go of your hangups about Dave. I WUUUUV my little Davey-Dave. And he WUUUUVS me. See?