Fug on to Me

“Dude, what’s the big deal? I’m just being Courtney. And sometimes Courtney likes to wander around downtown Culver City looking like a downtrodden, underemployed, potentially violent and unpredictable Fraggle. So what? I’M A %#%gG&&$#!@2# ROCK STAR. If I can’t pop out of my Escalade carrying a twelve thousand dollar crocodile handbag and wearing a feather I fished out of that lake thing in MacArthur Park, WHO CAN? So my shoes appear to be made out of trash. DO YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO WEAR TRASH SHOES? I didn’t think so. Besides, I’d like to remind you that I am the woman who allowed a homeless man to suckle her bare teat at a Wendy’s for photographers. This is F#$#%w$#$%(^# NOTHING. So, unwad your panties and send your angry letters to the Official Save Francis Bean Council For Rock Star Offspring, care of Kelly Osbourne, 1221 Derelicte Avenue, suite F U.”