Fug or Fab: Brooke Shields


fug-or-fab

Anyone who’s ever read this Web site is well aware that I am very fond of Ms. Brooke Shields.

Which is why I am disturbed by the fungus creeping up her right side, like the mold in my shower grout. And yet this could be worse…right? So here’s my question to you: is it truly Not That Bad, or am I just easily distracted by her face? (“I’ve Been Distracted By Her Face” being a lesser standard in musical theater circles. I’m sure you could hum a bar if I put a gun to your head.)

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Comments (314):

  1. Vixen

    Love the shoes, hate the dress

  2. Claire's mom

    I think she looks kind of fabulous in her wing dress. The way it wraps around her torso makes her look very svelte. The shoes are kind of meh for me, though. Brookie, you are the kind of gal that will be beautiful when she’s in her 80′s – hate you/love you.

  3. bex

    you may be distracted by her face, but i am distracted by her shoes.

  4. geemee

    I voted it awesome because I think the dress might look really good from the front. And because Brooke looks really good, period.

  5. eee

    I’m the exact opposite of Vixen: I love the dress, but hate the shoes. They’re too matchy-matchy and overly complicated for this dress. Minimal strappy black shoes would have worked much better, because they wouldn’t compete with the dress. That said, the dress works wonders on her figure. I love how it shows off her right shoulder and collarbone, exposing just enough skin to be sexy without being gaudy. Love it.

  6. Ranee

    It would be totally fab without the vertical wing graphic growing up her right side. The ones growing across her midsection are fine.

    Shoes? Too matchy-matchy and way too complicated with that dress. A stiletto pump would have been better.

  7. Emily

    I actually love the cut, color and general styling of the dress. It’s very age appropriate, while also being nicely edgy and modern. There is nothing of the toothpaste spokesperson to this outfit, thank god. HOWEVER, that off the shoulder look is not doing anything for anyone. Coupled with the wavy hair and her general Brooke Shields-ness, the one shoulder look is a bit dated and sad. Just pull it up, Brooke, and make it a lovely open boat neck rather than a 1983 throwback.

  8. Wut

    I think those shoes would be pretty cool in a different set of colors.

  9. Ranee

    Sorry, eee. I didn’t read your post before I posted mine, but it looks like we have the exact same opinion on “Those Shoes.”

  10. SKS

    I think it’s just because she put the wrong side forward, because I (naively?) believe that from the front, she wouuld look stunning.

    You’d think that a former model would know how to showcase clothing properly. :T

  11. ProudMary

    I like the lines created by the gathering, but am weirdly uncomfortable with how the dark fabric is…ahem…’holding’ her right breast. feels like an evil hand emanating from, well, you can see for yourself.

  12. Sarah

    It looks to me like she is wearing a strangely fabulous rib brace over her dress. HOWEVER, that being said, I’m pretty sure Brooke could wear scrubs and crocs and still distract us all with her face.

  13. kirsten

    Honestly, when I first looked at it I thought she had stuffed something down the ruched part on the side. Not a good look.

  14. loonytick

    I feel like I could really like this dress if it were done in colors rather than black and shades of gray. I like black, I like that gray, I just don’t like them there. A color on white would look less…moldlike.

  15. Evan

    I feel like the print on the dress is rather vague and I wish it were both more well defined and more colorful. It doesn’t need to be an explosion of rainbows, but perhaps a tiny teal or plum accent (to fit with the season) might help.

    I like the concept of the wrapping of the dress and the grey is a great color. I love it with the shoes, because the whole look is rather pared down but the shoes are still interesting despite their color. I feel like the cut of the dress, however, is like a really fancy tshirt. It’s a bit young of a cut for her–I’d like something more structured.

    And all of this makes her hair look really dull. I like the color by itself, but with the greys of the dress and shoes it looks rather drab. She needs to warm the color or redden it just a tiny shade.

  16. northernwhistle

    I wish we could see this straight on, because I actually think this could be pretty interesting and cool. I just have the nagging sense that it’s hanging on her wrong; though I know that it’s probably supposed to be off-one-shoulder, I just want to tug it even and re-evaluate. However, what saves it for me are the shoes. They ROCK, and I think they pull the random-ish tulle overlay and greytone graphic on the dress together as an outfit.

  17. Stephanie

    The shoes are a bit much with the dress but are amazing on their own.

    Instead of a fungus though the black makes me feel like there’s some evil force coming up attempting to cop a feel on the right boob.

    I feel overall a simple heel with the ruching minus the black hand of death would be fab.

  18. TLG

    I too feel meh an the shoes. I dunno, a shoe that looks less chunky perhaps?
    As for the dress, I can’t decide if it has enough personality to hate, but I dislike the “Flashdance”-shoulder more than the lichen-like pattern.

  19. Anonymous

    On anyone else – NO. but I adore Brooke also so I’m giving her a pass. It definitely could be worse.

  20. Amanda

    I love this dress! I think Brooke looks sexy, svelte and elegant, as per usual. She should swap the shoes out for a sexy pump though – I don’t understand the bandage-y shoe! Though they do take me back to my prom outfit circa 1996… Can we ask Brooke to teach Blake “Legs & Boobs McGee” Lively how to dress up her tall glass of water figure as elegantly??? PLEEEEASE???

  21. jingles

    Proudmary, now all I can see is the evil hand. I still like the dress though…it’s just a little more evil now.

  22. Maureen

    Love the dress (on her) and LOVE the shoes. My only concern is the fungus seems to be getting to second base with Brooke.

  23. Emmy

    I’ll be succinct: I think it’s fab. In fact, I want (the petite version of) this dress in my closet now.

  24. cath

    It’s not terrible, but…

    While I think both the applique and the shirred tulle overlay are interesting ideas, they’re kind of at war with one another here. I’d stick with the tulle and ditch the applique. Or maybe the other way around. It just seems that the tulle is winning this particular war.

    Bigger problems, I think, are the drab olive-grey colour and the off-shoulder t-shirt cut. Together, they make the whole thing look way too casual for what I think she’s trying to do here.

    So, if the applique were gone, the base colour changed to something brighter/darker/warmer/whatever-er, and the neckline converted to a boatneck or a wide scoop, plus some sparkly accessories added… hmmm, maybe I’ve just made it boring?

  25. Alix

    I’d be okay with the dress if I didn’t think the fungus was creeping north to swallow her cleavage. The shoes are fab.

    Back in the DAY, I looooved Brooke, I thought she was the most gorgeous thing on Earth. But, while still a handsome woman, she’s developing a rather hard look, and hitting the Botox a bit hard. And dear God, is there NO product she won’t shill for? Does she really need Latisse? I doubt it.

  26. MN

    I hate the shoes. They are too busy and clunky for this type of outfit.

    Brooke wears the dress well, but she would. I have mixed feelings about it, however. At first I thought that it was a sheer overlay until the fungus was pointed out to me. I don’t hate it, but there must have been a better option. I like gray most of the time, but it’s not the best color for Brooke either.

    Brooke is still very beautiful, but she’s starting to get that harsh Maria Shriver face.

  27. KPod

    She looks, as always, awesome. I LOVE the shoes.

    But: What about this dress in a COLOR? Say a green? That would push this right up into smash-tastic.

  28. IseultTheIdle

    I love the shoes. Love the hair, love the face. The dress…. I don’t hate the dress, but it makes her look slouchy, and I hate slouch.

  29. Ling

    Do you not mean “I’ve Grown Accustomed To Her Face”? It’s an easy mistake to make, they’re both iambic tetrameter… no? Well, damn, I thought I was pretty up on musical theater.

  30. a

    I like the shoes, but the rest of the outfit is not great. Trash the dress and start over.

  31. Another Kate

    SHE looks great. The dress…I think I object to the fungus (is that a wing I see?), but I’d need to see it at a different angle to know for sure. That gray is probably not her color. The shoes are interesting, but they don’t move my passions one way or the other.

  32. cmb

    i totally agree that the dress looks like it’s actually pretty awesome but that the shoes, AWESOME AS THEY ARE, do nothing for the dress, the look, or ms. shields.

    can i hear an AMEN?

  33. Sara

    I can’t stop looking at her shoes. They make me smile.

  34. Sarah

    I like it, but I don’t AWESOME-IN-ALL-CAPS like it. Wishy-washy it is.

  35. Nariya

    Yeah, I see evil-cop-a-feel. It looks like not one hand, but several.

  36. Cecily

    So when my daughter was constantly playing dress-up, there was this one black poufy skirt that was nearly impossible to turn right-side-out. Brooke’s dress reminds me of that skirt. Like the shoes, though. And, of course, that face. She’ll be like Meryl Streep–growing old with grace and looking great. We love that.

  37. Katie

    I agree the main issue is with the color. If it was on something less mossy-gray (is that even a color? Anyway, it reminds me a bit of lichen), the print would be more interesting. And I’d either like to keep the off-the-shoulder look but make the sleeve shorter, so it’s closer to a wide strap, or make it a boatneck.

  38. Vicki

    Hmmmm. I can’t make an unbaised decision on this either. If it were anyone but Brooke, I’d probably give it a “fail,” but she IS Brooke Sheilds- so it is, therefore awesome.

    I think I’ve just negated my whole post with my own cycle of logic there…

  39. foo

    Shoes are fab, she looks beautifully tall and fab. I like the dress, but not the way overlay has been deployed. Make it more uniformly gathered and all will be well in the land of amazonian beauty.

    Was going to mention the smoky specter emanating from behind her to… well, at least I wasn’t the only one that noticed it. lol.

  40. guest72

    Just don’t like the dress at all. Have read the comments from those who like/love it and I just don’t get it. The shirring is unecessary, the wing pattern thingy is not attractive, and the hem looks either wrinked or crooked. Frankly, I think a back view would move some of the positive votes to NO. LOVE the shoes.

  41. Sam

    I don’t hink it looks so much like fungus as it looks like a crow dive-bombed into her side. Perhaps she’s guesting on FlashForward?

  42. Cadeaux

    I read GFY every day, and at least once in every post, there is a pic that makes me scream “Who designs this crap???” Brooke’s drab little mess has that honor today. I swear, my 10-year-old niece could design a prettier dress. Ugly color, messy styling… that black overlay was NOT necessary at all. And to whoever said it, yeah, I too want to yank it up on her shoulder. The only way to de-crappify it would be to change every aspect of it that makes it THAT dress.
    I’m kinda liking the shoes, but they look too heavy with a dress of this type. On the plus side, though, they look relatively comfortable. (I’m old enough to be all about the comfort.)
    Nice shiny hair, makeup that isn’t garish.. from the neck up, she looks fabulous.

  43. funderpants

    Wretched, wretched shoes. The ruching and Brooke herself are most excellent, though.

  44. Joshwahhh

    Oh my god, that dress is heinous. It’s not ruched, it’s wrinkled, like it has been lying on her bedroom floor. It also looks like it’s falling off of her, so someone swiftly gathered the material to the side and covered it up with a patch of feathers. The color isn’t silvery and playful, it’s slate gray. Aaaaand that exposed shoulder really over-broadens her on top – Brooke has always been a woman with wide shoulders – but it might just be the angle.

  45. F.

    offtopic question – how come i’ve never seen you talk about people like rachel zoe?

    other than that – love this place, keep up the good work! :)

  46. Sarah

    Open neck not one sided, a simpler shoe (she can give those to me) and her hair up. The end!

  47. maggie

    not awful, but the shoes are way too heavy with that dress.

  48. djheydt

    If it were not slipping down off one shoulder (deliberately? accidentally?) I would love that dress a whole lot. It is elegant, I love the color combination, and it covers all the naughty bits. It is true that a shoulder is not a naughty bit, and if the dress were cut in such a way as deliberately to expose both of them, that would be fine. It’s the accidentally-on-purpose ambiguity that bothers me.

    The shoes are silly, but then most of the shoes we see on this site are silly.

  49. SaraK

    I just love Brooke! But not her designer. Nor her shoemaker. I kinda see where they were going with each of these, but they did not get there. Or anywhere good.

    Brooke makes it all look about as good as it’s going to, which is a nice favor to the designers, but she’d be better off being kind to them in cuter clothes.

  50. yeahandalso

    I think I dig it, I find it interesting and flattering on her. It’s not the prettiest dress I’ve ever seen, but assuming it is appropriate for whatever occasion she is at then I say a success!

  51. Christy

    Those feathers aren’t just copping a feel, they are full on clutching that boob. No likey. As for the structure and color choice of the dress, I think they’d be great if it weren’t for the feather part! Pale gray with the black netting is interesting enough without the Molestium Falcon applicque.

    Iwouldn’t be opposed to a color, either: Royal blue.

  52. Wendy

    I’m partial to Brooke, too, and I actually think this would have been fab if the fungus thing had stopped somewhere on her ribcage and had not moved up to eat her right boob.

  53. Jayne

    Incidentally, “I’ve Been Distracted By Her Face” works perfectly to the tune of “I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm.” Which I now have stuck in my head… oh, the dress? Sorry, I got distracted by something else.

  54. Suzy

    Proudmary, YES. It looks like a group of sinister hands is creeping up to grasp her bosom. Apart from that, I like it. The shoes are fabulous, I want some!

  55. Maggi

    The dress is a subliminal advertisement for Latisse, she was contractually obligated to wear it.

  56. Jenny B

    I also love Ms. Brooke and think the dress would be so much better with sleeker accessories – shoes, ring, purse are all fighting the dress. Her face, of course, overwhelms everything with the pretty.

  57. Jessica

    Her facial expression looks to be on the brink of a “WTF” comment and I’d like to think it’s aimed at me because I’m about three seconds away from physically ripping those shoes off poor Brookie’s feet and running away haphazardly whilst trying to simultaneously buckle them.

  58. Maria

    Brooke is so pretty. That’s probably why it took me a minute to realize that the dress looks like she just came from a very steamy makeout session with her car mechanic.

  59. Lady Satan

    The shoes are fab, but burn the dress.

  60. Rudy

    I mostly love it. I think the proportions on the wing/fungus are a little off, like I think it might actually make more sense if it were a little bigger, moving with the angle of the draping instead of against it. But mostly, she looks gorgeous and interesting.

  61. blackstocking

    I’m loving the shoes. However, the rest of the ensemble leaves me feeling like I’m looking at a 40ish mom trying to be sexy, but in an “I’m not over the top” way. Which frankly reminds me of myself, so I’m going to tape this photo up so I don’t commit the same faux pas during this festive season.

  62. witjunkie

    I liked this when I could only see as far as mid-boob. When I scrolled down I went: aak. I think the length of that sleeve drags the whole thing down, maybe a cap sleeve would’ve worked better? (I wish I could see the other side) and not such a *dark* graphic underneath. And a can of StaticGuard. But I think the grey is nice. She looks quite pretty, I think.

    P.S. Good one Maggi. Ha!

  63. vandalfan

    Say yes to the mesh, no to the applique’, and gettheheckouttahere to grandma’s support sandals. Change the t-shirt sleeve, use either a cap sleeve, strap, or even go strapless on that busy side.

  64. Kristin

    Those shoes are absolutely FANTASTIC!!

    I don’t think they’re too chunky at all, and I have to wonder about the person that called them ‘bandage-y’.

    The dress doesn’t move me one way or the other, but the shoes save the day, and of course, Brooke’s beauty means she can carry off what us normal mortals can’t.
    You go, girl!

  65. Miss Informed

    I LOVE her shoes, talk about fungus! When the Gladiator look came out it just looked like everyone’s feet had been incarcerated, but I’ve clearly been slipped the Kool-Aid, cause I love them. Her dress will forever be a fungus. Plus, it looks like there’s camouflage UNDER the black netting, so the overall effect for me is a giant black cocoon that’s attached itself to the side of her dress, which is feeding on an old pair of cargo pants. I do not want to be there when it emerges. No.

  66. Julia

    Maggi beat me to it, but the instant I saw this photo, I thought, “Does she seriously need to advertise Latisse on her clothing as well as on those *awful* ads?”

  67. marcia

    those shoes are the bomb, as is brooke.

  68. Oblaadee

    Lovvvvve her.
    Lovvvvve the dress.
    Lovvvvve the shoes.
    Lovvvvve this website!

  69. Oblaadee

    Lovvvvve her.
    Lovvvvve the dress.
    Lovvvvve the shoes.
    Lovvvvve this website!

  70. Mrz. Zito

    I’ve been distracted by her shoes! They are fab.

  71. karen

    That is an ugly, ugly, ugly dress that is well made, fits her perfectly, and flatters her hot body. Her moderately unattractive shoes are appropriate and therefore don’t make the situation any worse.

    I feel kind of confused now.

  72. PCR

    Her face is definitely distracting, she being so annoyingly gorgeous and voluminously coiffed. She’s like… glamorous-tidy. It’s enviable.

    However, the dress is not an atrocity. The fungus is quite slimming, as another commenter pointed out, and without that detail the dress might look like a big t-shirt. I just think she didn’t totally commit to the look. To improve it, I think she should have had a talk with the designer about the incongruous apparent stiffness around the hem, which makes the bottom look more matronly while the top looks soft and youthful. And, once some hemline adjustment was made, she should have gone a smidgen more punk-rock with the styling, so her head didn’t look quite so surprised to be there. Little smokier eye, less boxy clutch, maybe a ponytail? And we’re, if not in fabulous territory, at least in edgy-and-cohesive-ville.

  73. SJ Donovan

    It’s been said a trillion times, but OMG THOSE SHOES I WANT THEM.

    It’s different when I say it because I’m 19.

    And male.

  74. Diana

    I know, Brooke Shields is gorgeous. The dress is just too busy. Too much going on. She still looks great when one is done puzzling over what is going on with all the folding/draping/clinging/climbing.

  75. Sam

    This dress is designed by Catherine Malandrino, for those of you who were wondering. I worked at her office while this collection was being created and all I can say is that it is universally unflattering and overwhelmingly ugly. I would expect more from Brooke Shields.

  76. Lesia

    I call shenanigans on that dress, but those shoes are hot and I want them.

  77. Elizabeth

    Love the shoes and her hair looks incredible as always. She needs a slammin’ black dress to go with them. The matchy dress is killing the hot HOT shoes.

  78. carrieparker

    I think the dress is unusual and very interesting but would be a lot less visually disturbing if it were just a simple grey sheath with the sheer layer over it.
    The shoes are simply amazing and I want some.

  79. quichepup

    I do not like the gray, it looks dull. I do not like the stain underneath the groping black eyelash either. All I see is the copping-a-feel black stuff when I look at her, probably not how she wants to be remembered. It doth blow.

    Cute shoes.

  80. Catherine

    Remove the fungus crawling up her right side and everything will look fabulous.

  81. 'Mela

    She’s got way too much hair.
    Way.Too. Much.
    It makes her face look masculine.

    The Dress:
    Length of the sleeves, & hem is unflattering,
    as is the color.
    Amber/mustard tones
    with boat neck/sleeveless,
    at the knee.

    The shoes :
    Nothing wrapping around the ankle-
    Puts too much emphasis on her curvy legs.
    Slingback pumps.

    Lip color- Poppy Red.
    Get away from purple.
    Make up:
    Stay away from under eyelining, adds age.

  82. 'Mela

    I got distracted by commenting on her face!

    I wanted to say how clever of you Jessica
    to use a “My Fair Lady” reference!

  83. Hils

    Catherine Malandrino actually rocked this dress herself in a recent run of BMW print ads, but it has not translated well here! Wow. I thought they typically airbrushed the models in those ads, not the dresses . . .

  84. Jody

    I saw the thing on her dress and thought, “Why is she carrying a papoose?”

    Remove the papoose, pull the shoulder up like so many have said, and she’ll take herself out of the clutches of Fug Nation, at least.

  85. Kristin

    That dress reminds me of the stupid eyelash growth commercial she does, which got over-played on Hulu.

    The feathers or whatever that wrap around her look like long spidery legs, or lashes. Bleh.

  86. Rayna

    Well, gotta have my say, even at the end of a long day.

    I feel y’all with the comments re: color. Gray is not usually my pick.

    That said, Brooke looks outstanding, although this is not her best look.

    Hey, who cares? She’s working it.

    Notice: shoes – no comment.

  87. Rayna

    PS Forgot to add that the neckline would look better if she pulled the right shoulder up and the left down a little, kind of half way between what she has now.

  88. Anne

    The dress isn’t my fave ever, but she is easily gorgeous enough for it not to matter if she wore a short paper sack. For her, I draw the line @ caftan. Though it’s possible, if ever there was someone who could pull off a caftan, it might be her.

    Not just by virtue of her face, but that bone structure. Genetic Lottery Winner.

  89. Blanche

    What’s to be weirded out by her face? She’s about to say something. I would very much like the dress and shoes on her (I even like their matchiness.), were it not for the gaping maw of the black side-stain and its insidious bondage tentacles grasping out across to claw her down into hell, located inconveniently under her own right armpit. You would begrudge Shields trying to get a word in at this point?

    Save that dress for the therapist/exorcist, Mme. Shields, and have a second one made sans tar pit explosion. It’s a flattering fit; I love gray; and I find the fold-over shoulder and sleeve elegantly sexy.

  90. Tampopo

    It looks like she took an hopeless dress, and then taped something to the side with torn-off strips of electrical tape.

    I’m not sure what the tape-on object is… perhaps it’s a bunch of feather-design appliques she didn’t have time to sew on. Or perhaps it’s a flattened dead hawk that she found on the freeway, which she used to turn a drab dress into a piece of “found art”.

    I don’t blame her, that baggy gray dress is so frumpy that she had to do SOMETHING!

  91. Tampopo

    It looks like she took an hopeless dress, and then taped something to the side with torn-off strips of electrical tape.

    I’m not sure what the tape-on object is… perhaps it’s a bunch of feather-design appliques she didn’t have time to sew on. Or perhaps it’s a flattened dead hawk that she found on the freeway, which she used to turn a drab dress into a piece of “found art”.

    I don’t blame her, that baggy gray dress is so frumpy that she had to do SOMETHING!

  92. Celia

    I think it would be better if it did not suffer from Flashdance Shoulder. The nude legs bother me with this outfit. I think it might also be time for Brookie to realize that after a certain age, long hair is a poor choice.

  93. H

    Ugly sack dress, but regardless, her body is BANGIN’! And I want to own those shoes.

  94. Lara

    The shoes are killer!!!!!!!

  95. sugarkat

    I’d like it so much more if she hadn’t pulled the dress to one side to expose her shoulder like that, ’cause as much as I admire and possibly even platonically love the woman, and as much as she is lookin’ damned good, she is too freakin’ old for the over-the-shoulder look, and this is distracting me. It makes her look desperate and ill-kempt, and, as far as I can tell from my great distance, she is neither. Someone smack her stylist! Ka-POWIE! Otherwise, she is fiercely rocking it. I guess. It’s hard to tell, what with my stylist-punshing fist being all itchy.

  96. JenC

    It looks to me like a giant lace-gloved hand is reaching up and squeezing her right breast.

  97. SusiePseudonym

    I love the dress, the hair, the shoes, the face. I love all of it. It seems to me that the shoes are great on their own, while the dress is made much better by the addition of the shoes. If she had worn different shoes, I’d still like the dress, but not as much. Brooke rocks. I’ve loved her since she modeled jeans for Calvin Klein about a million years ago.

  98. Anne

    It really doesn’t matter what the dress looks like. Anything paired with those shoes becomes spectacular merely by association.

  99. Antof9

    I love that someone who is 16 feet tall would wear a pair of shoes that high. I neither love nor hate the dress, but I do love the Brooke.

  100. aditi

    I just think she needs to improve her make up. I think she maybe tried to match her dress, and her face looks kind of blue.

    That and iron the dress

  101. Mandy

    I love it! I would cut off that sleeve and add coloured heels though.

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