For a second, I thought Gwynnie here was wearing a giant white round necktie, and I LAUGHED and LAUGHED and LAAAAUGHED.
[Photos: WENN.com]
But, it’s not. It’s a keyhole neckline. I’m so crushed that I can’t even evaluate it. Maybe it’s cute, maybe it’s twee; it’s definitely something I would not be surprised to learn she wore backward, just because that seems to send people into such paroxysms of shock and awe these days. Whatever. Get back to me when they’re all wearing their shoes the wrong way around.
Gwynnie went with something equally twee, but a lot brighter, for a film event in England:
Very Betty Draper, no? God help me, I think this is cute. Not with those shoes, though; they’re like warring flavors in pack a tropical-fruit Starburst, where they get stuck next to each other in the package and rub off on each other and suddenly you think you’re eating Feisty Watermelon Zing when you get an inadvertent taste of Pink Grapefruit Splash Tang and then suddenly nothing makes sense any more. Especially because I don’t even like watermelon OR grapefruit, so why the hell did I buy that pack of Starbursts anyway?
Comments (125):
What’s with the Barbie clothing? So unlike too cool for school Gwynnie!
What could her breasts possibly have done to deserve the grey number?
I saw this last night and KNEW it would show up this morning! You know what my interior designer friend said about a little gold goes a long way, the same can be said for pink, and at first blush (see what I did there), I thought the pink shoes and toes were a bit much, but it really doesn’t bother me. Ever since I had a daughter, I love pink! And this is fun, maybe a little Anne Boleyn meets Jetson in the bodice and hem, but overall, cute. I also like the first dress, but cracked up at the giant necktie!
Umm…I absolutely HATE that her necklace is going under her collar and making a small bump under the dress. Tack-tastic!
I think its that weird (green?) necklace that ruins it. AND the shoes.
Does she think she’s doing promo for that flight attendant movie again? I don’t get the looks. They’re ok, but not up to Gwynnie’s usual snuff.
Judy Jetson would like her pink dress back. This (the pink) also looks like a play on Quinn’s version of the Lady Gaga dress on Glee.
And that grey number … clearly Gwyneth learned nothing from the disastrous “chicken cutlet” outfit.
Wow, she looks so played out and tired too; the opposite of fresh-faced I’m afraid. Awful hair and makeup! She should take some advice from GOOP and not wear all that goop. She is really coming off as a hag/tranny in the close ups.
Love the first look, especially the POW! of the purple spangled purse. The shoes and necklace throw me off on the second one. It’s like she forgot she had the necklace on, then got to the red carpet and went, “well, too late now.”
I absolutely adore the first outfit! I would so wear that if I had the boobs to pull it off … and I were tall … and pretty. I’m not much into bows on shoes but those shoes look great with that dress. As for the second outfit — PUKE! Way too much pink, what’s with those shoes, and worse, that necklace? Even her hair stinks. Yuck.
I think the deal with that necklace is – that dress is a two-piece. The top is really some kind of weird sleevleless bolero-type contrivance. Probably has buttons in the back. She had it off earlier and when she put it back on, she forgot to make sure her necklace was outside it. Actually, I’d like to have seen the dress on its own, sans bolero.
I love the shoes, but I have an inordinate fondness for pink.
At first I thought the green necklace had some sort of interesting function with the pink dress…like it was the only thing holding it up. But, that is not the case. I could over look its existence if the hem on the dress didn’t make it appear that the whole thing is made out of neoprene.
This isn’t specific to this picture, but I think Gwyneth Paltrow has looked at least 40 since she was no more than 22. Her skull is lovely; everything after that is a mistake. I don’t have star style, but I am convinced that all of these problems could be fixed with (1) sunscreen; (2) moisturizer; (3) eyebrows (you can paint them on if they don’t occur naturally); (5) dying her hair a color other than “straight peroxide”; and (5) NO MORE UNDER-EYE EYELINER FOR THIS WOMAN EVER. It’s so horrendously aging on fair-skinned people, and, specifically, on her.
I feel so much better now that I got that off my chest.
I think its that weird (green?) necklace that ruins it. AND the shoes.
Don’t forget the stiff hair and bad makeup. I normally would love this kind of dress but the way it’s styled ruins it. And why did she wear a Bumpit with the first dress? It makes her hair look like a bad toupe?
It never ceases to amaze me how Gwyneth Paltrow – a woman from a privileged background and a tall, lithe frame – can make such bad clothes choices.
Gwynnie has a timeless, classic beauty – sometimes I think she’d make a great Dominique Francon if they ever get around to making “Atlas Shrugged”. While I’m really pleased to see her wearing pink – a great color for blondes – she really should think “timeless” instead of “fashionable” for her clothes. Lord knows she can afford to wear hand-made clothes every day.
For example, I would love to see that pink dress without the weird top – just a plain, well tailored dress that looks like it fits her well in a smashing color. Because it is a retro type of dress that looks good on a retro figure (I’m lookin’ at you Christina Hendricks – in a great green, that would be bangin’ on you.) The gray dress is obviously designed for someone with an hourglass figure, which she does not have. The dress is shapeless on her, which is a shame ’cause it’s a cute dress. Reduce the keyhole size a bit and have me win the lottery so I could afford it, and I’d wear it.
I will say, though, I am grateful to finally see her out of hoof/bootie/gladiator shoes. I don’t care how fashionable they were supposed to be, they were (and are) butt ugly and looked horrible since she paired her acres of leg with a stumpifying shoe.
Too much make up. And kudos on the Jetson comment, so true.
Holy crap that makeup does her no favors. She’s less Betty Draper and more Sandra Lee, teevee-convenience-food-destroyer. Seriously, she looks like Sandra’s twin!
Not so crazy about the hair color, but I do really like the styles; especially in the second photo. And I HEART and covet the shoes in the first photo. They’re like Barbie shoes but better! So cute.
love it, even with the shoes, more like judy jetson than betty draper to me. but why ever would you put that necklace with that neckline?
GOOP is the word (is the word that they heard)
It’s got groove, it’s got meaning
GOOP is the time, is the place, is the motion
GOOP is the way we are feeling
I can see where you’re going comparing her to Betty Draper, but she looks like Judy Jetson to me!
i love both dresses but i was a little girl in the 60′s and i think i had dresses very similar for my barbies.
uh… when I saw the pink dress I thought I was looking at Kelly Ripa.
What’s up? Judy Jetson? Barbie? Is Gwenie trying to recapture her childhood? Dress like a woman, Gwen. Those days are gone for good.
Hate the gray — what’s with the slicked hair and bejewelled clutch from Forever 21…? Plus her chest is a completely different color than her arms (could be lighting and angle). However, LOVE the pink! She looks radiant and actually happy to be in the outfit. Shoes might be a bit much but I was also one of the fans that enjoyed Natalie Portman and her purple-overload, so who knows.
I… actually like the pink outfit. Even with the shoes. And toes. And green necklace.
I actually would love the grey if the keyhole were smaller and she wore the pink shoes with it.
Hahahaha, I never thought it looked like a tie but now I can see it! Anyway I like the outfit, make up and the hair. The second photo os gorgeous. I usually don’t like pink but she looks adorable in this dress.
I wonder if the camera is playing pink tricks on us like it did for Kristin Davis
At least she painted her toenails. Why is it that so many celebs these days don’t get a nice pedicure before an event? I certainly never bare my tootsies without a pedi, and I’m nowhere near a red carpet or premier or whatever. And, yeah, Judi Jetson all the way.
I agree entirely. I think that pink dress is adorable and with better shoes (which I KNOW Gwyneth has, she has so many amazing shoes) it would be perfect.
First Dress: Hideous. The keyhole neckline, along with the plunging neckline, is rarely attractive. While Gwynnie has the chest for that sort of look (the bigger the boob, the trashier those necklines look, IMO), it’s still not a good look. I’m fond of dark colors, but this is an instance where this charcoal color truly does look drab. Maybe it’s the material, which reminds me of a car floor mat. I’m not crazy about the shoes either, and think Gwynnie looks rather washed out overall.
Second Dress: Normally, I hate anything in that color, but that is a shade of pink that actually works on a blonde, and manages to really make her look radiant. I like the retro touch, the shoes are divine, and her hair and make up are perfect.
She is one of so many unnaturally blond women with excess dark eye make-up and knobby knees sticking out of too-short dresses. Enough already !
btw, I am so over everyone wearing their clothing backwards. yawn.
I think the pink is kind of awesome with different shoes. And I agree with Boo – a smaller keyhole on the grey dress and then pair that with the shoes from the second dress that would be totally rockin’.
And suddenly I feel like I’m in the middle of a bad math problem. If the first dress is on a train that leaves New York at 2 pm and the second shoes are on a different train leaving LA at 1 pm at which point will I not care and just solve for vodka.
The pink one looks like something Paris Hilton would wear.
Enough said.
Ouch. My toes ache out of sympathy for hers. What’s with the too small shoes?
Yep, I’d pair the pink ones—in a bigger size–with the gray dress, drop the sequined purse (which she may have swiped from my kids’ dress up clothes chest) and figure out a hem on that grey dress that is straight…right now the bottom of it looks like she’s wearing it a bit too small. Maybe to be consistent with the shoes?!?
Okay, the pink shoes with jeans and a cool top, and on me instead of her, would totally work. The rest can just go in the fireplace.
If it’s Gwyneth, it’s fug by default. Hate.
I cannot gather enough energy to comment anything above grade school level. She looks stooopid in both pictures.
The thing I don’t like about the first one is her hair. If I cover up her head I think the dress is cute though.
The 2nd one is too pink for me to really focus on completely, so it’s hard to say. I guess I’ll give her that one, after all she has given us GOOP!
@chasmosaur – I thought I was the only one who read The Fountainhead and cast her in my head as Ms. Francon.
The problem isn’t the dresses so much as it is the person wearing them. Gwenyth is too reserved and aloof for those bold choices. I could see Victoria Beckham rocking those dresses with her typical verve and confidence, but Gwenyth doesn’t have Vbeck’s attitude. And I am in love with that gray dress. It’s classic with a naughty eyewink.
I’d like to see the grey one the other way round, then I think it would be a lovely classic with a naughty wink. As it is, it just looks odd and unbalanced.
It is like time is standing still this week!!! ALL OVER THE PLACE….every friend on facebook has a “longest week ever” post, and in the break room today, all my co-workers were talking about how long this week has seemed. Just saying. Gwyneth is a HUGE whatever. But this week….we can agree on this one thing….END ALREADY.
I really, really like the first one, but I think the second tries and misses.
I think the pink one looks too… sci-fi or something. Or like a bright pink paper bag with a hole in it. But the skirt’s nice…
The sheen/color/texture and the back of this pink ensemble are luscious.
In other news, this gray dress event (National Movie Awards) is all well and good, but WHERE IS PACEY? (Plus Prada-mini-wearing gf?). I have never heard of this event, but I am a big proponent of events being invented for the sole reason that he can attend looking all swoon-inducing.
n.b. I have never watched Dawson’s Creek, but came to love him through this blog.
I like, but don’t love, both dresses, but they both kinda look like she’s got them on backwards.
Now, then, Ladies, how DARE you let two whole days pass before comments are allowed, when you foisted that atrocity of Liza-witha-Z upon us? Great googly-mooglies, I almost had to bleach my eyes and my monitor. It cannot be unseen. It will haunt my nightmares. It’s visual Syrup of Ipecac. I say, let’s use THAT against the Taliban.
She’s very pretty, but it’s much clearer in the pink Barbie Jackie O Meets Betty Draper dress. In the grey one with the scary neckline, it just looks as if her boobs are looking to get away from the paparrazzi by seeing if they can disguise themselves as a lumpy belt. The make-up in the grey dress does her no favors, either.
The hemlines on both dresses, while they show off her pretty fab legs, remind me, in their proportion, a little too much of a couple my 8-year-old’s favorite dresses. Sure, they show off the kid’s legs. Because she outgrew them, and refuses to admit it.
Starburst are individually wrapped, so they cannot stick together. I don’t know which candy you are thinking of.
I LOVE those shoes, though. Nothing else. Just those.
Daughter JUDY…Jane, his wife…
Pretty sweet jetson’s costume
The pink thing is fun, and yes, very Betty Draper indeed if Betty Draper were an older cousin of Josie and the Pussycats. The grey thing, well, ya know, Gwynnie wears what they ask her to, she’s always a good sport. And Gwynnie is weird.
I like the pink dress but it needs different shoes and there’s a bizarre green(?) necklace lurking underneath and I don’t know why. It’s pointless and all it’s doing is cluttering up quite a nice neckline.
Also, I kinda want her hair to be bigger. If you’re going to channel Judy Jetson, channel her BIG.
The first dress is preety and the shoes complement it beautifly. I LIKE IT!
The pink dress has great color and fabric. It’s beautiful and the emerald green necklace complements it perfectly. I just would’ve changed the pink shoes for emerald green ones. Then, it would have been perfection! I LOVE IT!
Being as I live in Japan, it is Friday for me. Heeee!
Something is wrong…what’s with that half covered necklace?? Hate!
Love the Gwynneth, always will. Also, overuse of the word “twee” is OUT
Grey dress is ugly and poorly fitting. The keyhole is so large it looks simply like a view hole to her clavicle. As a matter of fact, the viewer is left only to consider all the white chest skin that the dress seems expressly designed to highlight. The waist looks too high and the skirt looks like 3rd grade. This look is so unattractive on so many levels it boggles.
In REAL life Gweneth has terrible taste.
In REEL life, she had a fab wardrobe in the PERFECT MURDER. Elegant and simple lines.
She needs to go up a size in her shoes, her toes are just hanging out!
The problem with the first look is the hair. The dress is sexy-classy and great. Love it.
She’s smiling!
True that on the under-the-eye eyeliner. I’m equally pale and I realized what a bad idea that was in 9th grade and never looked back.
I know we’re supposed to talk about the outfits and not the celebrity, but I haven’t been able to look at her outfits objectively since the dawn of Goop. It’s all pompous ridiculous.
I’m sorry, Gwyneth, but you look like one of the Jetsons. The end.
I like the pink one!!!
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