Well, I DO love some nice red lipstick. That’s never been in question.
But what about the rest of it? These are my confessions (part III): I don’t care for a handkerchief hem. And if I’m going to tell it, I gotta tell it all: the gathering feels a bit haphazardly done. And yet she herself is lovely and doesn’t look half bad. Even if she IS wearing wooden Dutch shoes made of gold (a mythical pair I think I read about in a children’s story once). I think I am going to come down tentatively and with great trepidation on the side of I’ll Allow It. What say ye, Fug Nation?
Comments (158):
I kind of like that hem, but only on this dress. Does that make sense?
Bjork couldn’t even pull this off
Yuckaroonie except for the lippy. She is wearing martian shoes.
I think the main problem is that the whole get-up just looks, well, cheap. Not like “OMG what a floozy” cheap, but rather “Did you make that dress out of a Hefty bag?” cheap.
I think she looks fine from head to ankle. Then come THOSE SHOES!!! WTF!?!
That said, the gathering IS a bit haphazard looking. But I think I like the dress, and the bag, and the lips, and even the hair.
BUT OMG, the SHOES! Oh, the humanity!!!
regardless of the offensive fuggary, i do give her props for rocking the fair skin and not dying it a shade of lohan-esque citrus. though orange skin might offset the moon clogs nicely…
My mom (who is no master seamstress) once made me a witch costume with some cheap black fabric for Halloween, and that’s what it looked like. And the shoes are a tragedy. The attractiveness of her face somehow conquers all, but that does not excuse what is otherwise a total doozy.
No. Just… no.
OMG those are the worst golden elf shoes EVER! Even if she has stylist, she should invest in a floor length mirror…
I laughed out loud at the mythical golden shoe comment! My co-worker jumped at the intrusion to the quiet.
I don’t love the dress, but it’s pretty harmles but OH MY GOD THE SHOES THE SHOES MY EYES MY EYES THEY BURN.
Those are just about the fugliest shoes i have ever seen. They’re not even avant garde, interesting fug. They’re just a straight up fug sundae with whip cream and maraschino fuglies.
i was hoping there would be a voting option to make a wish on the gold shoes.
Meh.
The neckline, is a little high, I’d rather see some collar bone. I’d leave shoulder coverings, but open the front up.
The gathering, I don’t mind it. It could look askew, because she’s posing.
The hemline, didn’t notice it at first, but now I don’t like it. It looks too much like every cheap halloween costume bottom.
The shoes, are funny, & interesting in their own way, but not so good with outfits.
I can live with the radioactive lipstick. I can accept that her hair looks like she showed up immediately after a swim meet. I can deal with the fact that her dress looks like it has a drawstring going right up the middle.
But the shoes? Never. No. Unless she is planning on milking some platinum cows on a planet colonized by the Dutch.
Holy cats, those CLOGS! Poor thing, she was so tired from traipsing around the tulip fields in these solid gold nightmares that she failed to notice Frisky had clawed her new dress and pulled a thread right down the middle. Hope she finds the little Dutch boy that sold them to her and kicks his ass all the way back to Copenhagen.
Heck, I don’t even have a comment about the ensembles–I just love FUG NATION. How cool is that?
I keep looking at the top and thinking probably yay, because I’m not in love with where the center of the neckline hits and it reminds me a little of Mickey Mouse ears or a cop’s moustache. Although skin/lipstick/face are definitely a yay.
Then I scroll down to the old school Batman cape hem and cringe a little. Then scroll down to the shoes and quickly scroll back up. ? is all I can say. That and they made me want a Wonka bar.
Excepting the shoes, I give it a upperyayloweryaynay. 3/4 yay wins by a fraction. The feet killed the meh idea dead.
Love your post Claire’s mom, but I gotta be a smartass here and tell everyone that Copenhagen is in Denmark. Send the little Dutch boy to Amsterdam instead, I suggest.
I actually like the dress, she has the sort of body to pull it off (insert obvious joke here), I can deal with the shoes, but the lipstick kills it.
I didn’t fail fractions, I promise. 2/3 yaynay. (compulsive rabbit type going back to work now)
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I don’t mind her dress and I think she’s lovely but those shoes are killing me. Literally. They are so ridiculously hideous that it’s all I can see. Disco Dutch. Yikes!
I guess I’m with the majority on the shoes. They’re horrifying, so I voted Nay. Everything else looks dandy, but THOSE SHOES.
Oof, no, do away with the valance at the top, make it a halter – otherwise it feels far too prom dressy.
I like the lipstick, but I do feel it’s a bit harsh on her. Maybe it’s because she could do with a bit more softness in the hair if she’s going to beso bold with the lips.
I am studiously ignoring the shoes. If she wanted a dash of gold so badly, why not a simple, slightly deconstructed chunky bracelet?
I think the shoes are funny. I’d wear them just because they are mythical golden wooden Dutch clogging shoes. She probably worked extra hard to steal them off a old hag who lives in a house that stands on chicken legs.
The dress–bleh. I hate that middle seam gathering thing, she does not have the figure to pull that off or even the appropriate weight. I really hate the sleeves.
Her hair looks kind of funny too.
I guess that’s the price you pay when you steal stuff from magical hags.
The shoes are straight off of Austin Powers’s Goldmember. I hope she doesn’t start eating her dead skin..
Perhaps it’s a bit too large? The side rutching is awkward, the underarm area doesn’t fit quite right. The only way to help the look of those… err, “shoes” is with a floor length train.
I was with her until the shoes. Those things are just indefensible.
Hans Brinker called, he wants to know if he can stick his finger into Jaime’s dyke…
Hans Brinker called, he wants to know if he can stick his finger into Jaime’s dyke…
I actually like the dress–I love me a handkerchief hem in general, so I’m okay with it. I could go either way on the lipstick. The shoes, though, are a giant NO.
So, I voted yay, because at first the shoes were my only problem. I thought she looked very cute otherwise. But thanks to MC and Megan, now all I can see when I look at the dress is a cheap Halloween costume. In which case, the shoes kind of go. Wicked Witch of the Netherlands, anyone? She should watch out in case a windmill falls on her and then some girl takes the magical golden clogs away.
the dress is okay. the lipstick is forgivable. the shoes belong in hansel and gretel AND NOWHERE ELSE. ever. EVER. i may be going blind.
Oh no! Klompen! There are no dutch people left wearing those, because they’re uncomfy and just plain ugly, and she’s not even dutch (is she?)!
Far too beautiful of a girl to be attending a public appearance is such sad attire!
She should have worn a female “man” outfit for GQ.
Something from Georgio Armani – Pin Striped trousers, jacket, with a gorgeous white open blouse with her red lips…
She has that kind of classic beauty.
Like a young Lauren Bacall…
Far too beautiful of a girl to be attending a public appearance is such sad attire!
She should have worn a female “man” outfit for GQ.
Something from Georgio Armani – Pin Striped trousers, jacket, with a gorgeous white open blouse with her red lips…
She has that kind of classic beauty.
Like a young Lauren Bacall…
Great from the neck up.
The shoes are atrocious; metallic clodhoppers are never stylish. And the dress looks like a last minute home ec project made from material rejected by everyone else in the class because it’s so cheap looking.
The dress totally looks like the Halloween costume I whipped up on 30 minutes notice with the center drawstring to add some shape and the zigzag bottom so you didn’t need to hem it. I like the Dutch Disco shoes, because disco was fun! Love & envy the skin.
You know, I’m not looooving the outfit, but you gotta admit, girlfriend has a bit of confidence about it, which always lifts any ensemble. She’s not letting it wear her, which is a major acheivement with a ruching + hanky hem + gold clog combo. How many other starlets could pull that off??
I actually liked everything until the clogs. The clogs kill the whole thing for me. Like, a nice metallic slingback or stiletto would have been nice, but the clog just makes it all clunky.
I also think she should have gone with a tad more eye make-up and that her hair should be loose. Her hair looks like mine does right now, but I’m at my office and not at a Hollywood event.
The dress reminds me of my Grim Reaper Halloween costume, if I rolled the sleeves up. It’s probably not a good idea to look like you go clothes-shopping at iParty. This includes those shoes, which I’m sure you can also find there in the gold-toned plasticware section.
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Those shoes look like they’re about to magically make her dance until she catches on fire and burns to death.
I’m prepared to be generous today. I’m even prepared to say nice things about Lady Gaga.
No. That’s a total lie.
WHAT THE HELL? Well, I suppose if ya gotta wear HOOVES to a party, then you should definitely bust out the SOLID FREAKING GOLD ONES.
The dress is cheap looking. I wore something like it to a company Hallowe’en party once. I bought it at Target. It cost 8 bucks. It was part of a “sexy dance instructor” costume. I was young then.
“I was sad that I had no shoes, until I met a girl who had GOLDEN HOOVES, and I thought, sweet mother of pearl, better her than me.”
a good pair of killer heels/boots could’ve saved the dress.
But the gold clogs killed it more effective than any magical item I can think of.
Hideous. She’s a pretty girl and her hair looks nice if she’s going to dance the lead role in Giselle at NYCB but beyond that:
o Lipstick, too red, too slashy and shiny and a little scary.
o Dress, completely unflattering. The sleeves make her look like she’s going to play for the Patriots in the SuperBowl (there’s an athletic theme going here, isn’t there?). The ruching in the front makes her look wrinkled, lumpy, and as if the waist of her dress is caught in her underpants. The fabric looks cheap and flimsy, like somebody found it in the sale bin at Joann after Hallowe’en, and the hem is unflattering.
o Shoes, are ugly, out of place and weird. And what’s with the TWO ankle bracelets? That must have been one heck of a DUI!
OK, pretty girl, interesting bag, but……….
Fug Nation, please, if all your friends were dressing like a funereal Austrian blind with magic (fake) gold klompen, would you have to do that too?
Seriously, some of you think she is pulling this off because she is very thin and rather pretty. But put this on someone, anyone else and it’s a horror. And cute shoes would only make the dress look worse. It’s a Nay!
I’m sorry; the red lipstick in that particular shade, on that particular face, screams “Attack of the Killer Clowns.” Perhaps it’s bad lighting-it just doesn’t do it for me. The shoes are godawful, too.
While there are elements that make me a wee bit uncomfortable when I look too long at them (Tinkerbelle hem, I’m talking to you), overall I’m ok with the look, OTHER THAN THE SHOES.
I hope she felt really pretty wearing them, sees the picture, smacks her head in horror, and then never wears them again.
C….3….P….toe
Those shoes should never,EVER be inflicted on humanity again. The rest of it is perfectly fine.
I’m actually okay with the hem itself; just make it another color besides black (I’m thinking red because I like where that lipstick’s going) so it doesn’t create witch costume/Batman cape associations in our minds. Then fix the gathering on the front so it’s more even, and make it strapless. Although the sleeves do add interest…I’m afraid it’s the wrong kind of interest, though. Maybe if her hair was a little poofier, it would downplay the size of the sleeves so you could keep them. I don’t know.
The shoes brightened my day, even if they are wrong on so many levels… I have to salute her for wearing them, because come on, the thought of gold metallic Dutch shoes would have never entered my consciousness if it weren’t for Jaime.
As a Dutch person I would like to say that if we were allowed to carry guns here, we would probably shoot these ‘Mythical Golden Clogs’.
This has nothing to do with the Dutch, or wooden shoes and for the whole fashion-consious part of the nation I would like to say that we do not tolerate this, have not in the past and certainly will not in the future.
[/soapbox]
Oh and for Claire’s mum (comment #15) You can kick her all you like, but I like to inform you that Copenhagen is located in Denmark.
She’s got one of the most perfect physiques on the planet and that dress is just doing NOTHING for her. The clogs inspire strong feelings, and give me lots of food for thought eg. WHAT situation would possibly inspire these things? Did the designer sit up in the bathtub and shout “Eureka! Gold clogs! Gold clogs with a slim black strap and wee silver buckles! I am a genius!” and then go back to playing with rubber ducky?
And also, who convinced this poor, beautiful girl to wear these abominations?
It looks like a deflated circa-1990s bridesmaid dress. She’s very pretty, but that dress is not doing her any favors.
I gave this a meh even though the shoes need to be stripped from her feet and burned. The dress itself, while not great, would have been passable with some simple, cute, black shoes.
I have never been a fan of that gathered look on a dress, but she has the body to pull it off without looking as though she has been scrunched. In general, though, that sort of look is cheapy looking and bridesmaidy to me.
Love the lipstick, and would like the hair if it weren’t so severe.
The neckline is too poofy and the shoes are hideous – I really can’t wait until this stupid “shootie” trend has died – other wise, I like it.
Outfit of Shame aside, that Usher reference just made my morning.
The shoes are a dealbreaker for me.
I can’t deal with those shoes. It would be better to just cut her feet off.
Oh my god and all that is holy. THE SHOES! Fail.
I actually like this, although I think, if you are going to make a statement with shoes (and like them or not, those shoes are definitely outspoken) you should leave off the distracting hanky-hem.
But those shoes are golden boats of weirdness, and I kind of love them.
i dont mind it but the clogs have got to go!
Jessica, Jessica, Jessica…I was beginning to rationalize it based on what you wrote, giving some thought to fixing her hair and the ruching not being *that* bad.
And then I scrolled down a little more and saw her gold ankle-strap clodhopper shoes. Holy Mother of God!!!
I love your work (and Heather’s too, of course), but HOW can you be in any doubt about this outfit? Clearly Intern George is falling down on the job. He needs to accompany you on a nice long vacation, with lots of massages and plenty of strong cocktails with little umbrellas in them.
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I read that fairytale too. Golden clogs are great in a children’s story, but on a real person? Not so much.
It’s hard to concentrate on the clothes. Girl needs a hamburger!
Actually, she looks terrible from the neck up and the knees down, but the dress is pretty. There’s something Mr. Bean-ish about her face, and I don’t think it’s entirely her expression–the makeup is working against her. And the shoes are just fugly, period.
You would have to be pretty to pull this dress off. And she is. I think she does wonders for the dress, but I’m having trouble with the shoes. I get a Swedish vibe that I kind of like for some reason, but gold… There’s a way to make those shoes work in another color, with another dress, somewhere…
I don’t like red lipstick, but I like it here.
Clogs strike a sensitive snare in me, as I am Dutch.
I like them carved out of (sustainable) wood in the tourist shops, and on old farmers in tiny towns where time has stopped in the fifties.
But the clog trend (the plastic ones, and these hideous gold ones) – I just dont get it.
So unflattering!!! And dont tell me they feel so nice on your feet. That is just a big lie.
And speaking my opinon now, I would also like to complain about ankle-booties.
They just look ridiculous, only worn by fashion victims sacrificing their ankles for the greater fashion good.
The dress looks like an overpriced bridesmaid’s horror from the late eighties run up in a loose basting stitch on a faulty machine.
I can’t even talk about the shoes.
The lipstick and hair, however, are good. Particularly the lipstick.
Everything is fine except for those GOD DAMN SHOES
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