The other day, we here at GFY HQ were discussing the fact that, with approximately 40,000 people of repute appearing in Valentine’s Day — including the torturous duo of Jessicas Biel and Alba, whom I consider deeply inferior namesakes of GFY’s own Jessica — everybody had better BRING IT to the premiere. Because remember how every time there was a Nine event, we expected big things, and then only like three of the stars would attend and it seemed awfully half-assed and tired? So disappointing.
Anyway, Alba listened. She did at least bring something:
That being, a wearable peacock, some shoes that — while potentially cute — she purloined from a dancer at Hott Frolix, and Katie Holmes’ hair from 2008. Kid, we liked it the first time, but the sequel — like Fletch Lives – is a tad limp.
Comments (69):
As a person who thinks that Jessica Alba is an talentless piece of work with a bad attitude, I can’t call her fug, even though I generally find her less pretty because I can’t stand her.
The color is great on her. The shoes are a bit much, but they work. The feathers are not overwhelming.
Sure, the hair is totally Katie Holmes, but it suits her.
My real complaint here is the raccoon eye concealer.
The dress, while beautiful, would look better if she wasn’t wearing a black jog bra under it. The delicate dress straps are completely lost. There are many options for you, J: strapless bra, tiny or clear strapped bra, even NO bra. But wearing something you picked up at Target (they are were on SALE in the active wear section) while you were doing a toilet paper and Cheetos run? NO NO NO. Now I’m just really annoyed at you.
Also, run a comb through that hair – you look like an unmade bed.
I sorta like the dress, but I wish she hadn’t worn a tanktop underneath it.
The colour is beautiful anyway. Can’t even complain about the hair (maybe because I dislike Katie Holms more than Alba here.(oh really what is there to dislike, all these people let me be uninterested in what they do anyway, I’m just here for the clothes.)
Shoes are just ugly, no fugly there to lighten it up. What’s wrong with some decent black pumps?
So, get rid of the tanktop, combine with simple black stilettos and all is well.
Did she come from the gym? The dress is cute, the shoes neither inspire nor offend, but WHAT is UP with the sports bra and the messy hair?
Girl, we know you’re in shape. You don’t need to bring pieces of your workout attire to the red carpet.
haha I say boo-urns to everything. having said that, I’m a sucker for anything related to peacocks. ANYTHING. plus I like that it looks as though she’s had a rollicking good time in the sack right before hitting the premiere.
It’s the shoes I have a problem with – too matchy matchy. Makes her look like she’s in Never Been Kissed again (which is an awesome movie, but after viewing it recently on tv, is also very dated.) Other than that she looks cute.
The dress is oh so very close to being a fab. the feathers at the shoulders ruin it for me. Like the colors, though, and I like them on her. The hair is just meh. Style it off her face a little and I like it better. Jeez, I’m such a mom.
This should be cute but it’s not and I just figured out what it is that bugs me: It looks like a cocktail dress she outgrew so she lengthened the straps and wore it with a top.
She looks very tired.
A lo so 2008 did become 2000-late.
At least the hair is DARK again. Thank God for small favors. And I think the cut is kind of cute.
AND I agree with whoever said the dress would be cute if she had skipped the tank top underneath.
Is she wearing a tank top underneath? Lose the tank, and the dress is kind of over-the-top enough to be interesting. And the hair…oh, honey, we can’t see your pretty face with all that hair in the way!
I really like the shape of this dress from neckline to hem. I have no idea what’s going on with the black thing. The green is fab but the pattern is way too much. But what I really have trouble with is that she’s supposed to be some evil Army general in the new A-Team movie. Hannibal is supposed to be afraid of that?!?
I want to walk up to her and hike her dress up about an inch or so. What is it with these dresses lately that look like they’re falling off? Is that supposed to be sexy? Also, what’s with the feathers on her shoulders? The shoes are FUG, and I think the red nail polish might actually be the worst part of the whole ensemble for me.
I think she should have brought a sandwich and a nap.
Good idea! ‘Scuze me.
I… like it. If you insist though, I’d remove the tank top she’s wearing under the dress and put on a cute black jacket. And a clutch. And make the dress a bit shorter – she’s got the legs for it.
Her hair looks disgusting, it’s not even the cut so much as the dirty-looking shine and shag. Its like she just got out of the pool and shook it out wet dog style. She also looks like shes gotten a little too skinny recently, shes never been a good actress but at least she used to be curvy and hot. Get with it Jessica.
This and the Biel post made me realize I have a major bias against actresses named Jessica. I’m withholding judgement on the dress until I see it sans sports bra on Marion Cotillard or someone similar.
Also, the hair is awful and the accessories have a straight-from-the-runway look that she is NOT owning.
Was anyone else shocked by how skinny she has gotten all of a sudden? I mean, she was always thin but I was surprised!
Did you ever decide to start getting ready for a party, try on a couple dresses to see what you want to wear, suddenly find out you’re getting picked up an hour earlier than you thought, and accidentally wear the dress you had on without remembering to first put on the appropriate undergarments? Poor Jessica, so embarrassing.
Maybe this picture was taken when she came out of the dressing room or something.
THE SHOES!
She looks like she’s wearing a particularly festive apron that’s been Bedazzled to within an inch of its life. One would think she’d eat a sandwich every now and again if she’s dressed for the kitchen.
Something needs to be done with her hair. Stat.
I didn’t see “peacock” I saw June Beetle…
Sigh, I had actually managed to forget about her. At least every blog stopped fawning over her this past month, she is such a pill. She and Katherine Heigle are two I just can’t be objective about I just loath them sooooo much
I hate this outfit because it is making me hate La Alba. Remember when you first saw Dark Angel? Man, she was so rad. And now she shows up in what could be a salvageable dress, sans sports bra, fug shoes, and awful hair & makeup. SALVAGEABLE?? You give us SALVAGEABLE?? Oh, Jess. No.
This dress reminds me of ALIEN – like something is getting ready to rip through her abdomen and attack us all. I might have liked it if they’d left the detail to the bottom and added some sort of belt, but the weird ink blot-like embellishment to the waist freaks me out because it seems to be framing something but we don’t know what (read: ALIEN PEACOCK MONSTER).
Just No.
I like the color of the dress and shoes and I think the bangles are a great complement. It’s nice that she didn’t wear obvious red. The shoes look like the ones Zoe Saldana had on the other day with her micro splotchy dress and I think Zoe pulled them off better. In fact, I bet she’d be able to pull off this whole outfit. WHAT IS WITH HER HAIR? It was looking great! This better be for a role. If it is, I swear she does more to her head than most actresses and yet I never see these movies come out.
is that a sports bra under her dress?
It’s a flapper dress, and AS a flapper dress it’s great. Flappers had neither sports bras, tank tops nor absurd platform shoes (they look like hooves).
The hair might actually work if she took a nap and scraped off some of that slap.
Also: how do you get your armpits orange?
I love the fabric. I hate everything else. My solution: she posts me the dress and I cut it down to make something nice for myself. I’m thinking a nice top for work.
I like it. It fits well, nothing is hanging out that shouldn’t be (except for that bra strap), and I adore the shoes!!
Best of all, I see it as a sign that Spring is near because she brought 2 fuzzy caterpillars on her shoulder.
Ok, this sounds less complimentary than I intended. I really do like the dress, hair, and shoes. She looks cute as a button.
The hair reminds me of the Friends episode where Phoebe gives Monica the haircut that’s supposed to be Demi Moore and instead winds up Dudley Moore. I weep and laugh. Also, it makes her look AT LEAST 10 years older than she is.
The dress… I really hate those straps. Kind of looks like a strapless dress she layered on top of a tank. And I don’t understand the feathers at all.
If you could somehow cross-breed this dress and Amanda Palmer’s Globes dress and the gene mix worked out just right, you’d get a gorgeous red carpet look. Or the world’s ugliest striptease outfit, but that’s science for you.
As it is, gotta agree with Claire’s mom about the Target jog bra. Even I could dig better underwear than that out of my closet in less than five minutes, and I don’t go to awards shows or have a stylist on speed dial (although that would be nice).
Love the dress, hate the actress.
There are three mistakes in my opinion:
1. Shoes. I hate when they’re so matchy matchy.
2. Hair. Once again sporting the famous GFY “I Just Came From The Gym” hairdo. Ps. I find weather (ie humidity) irrelevent seeing as someone like Alba has every known hair product and stylist available to her.
3. Sports bra…??? Is that what it is? The girl is like a size negative A cup she shouldn’t even need a strapless bra with that dress. This just supports my theory even further that she just came from the gym.
I LOVE the hair, I think it looks cute and I like her with dark hair.
The dress is cool. I kinda want that dress, actually, but I have to agree with everyone who said it would look better without a tank top underneath it.
I hate those shoes. I don’t know why but the big green platform just turns me off. It looks like she’s walking around on two very small private lawns or something.
I like the dress and don’t hate the hair, but I would nix the tank top and replace the stripper platforms with a strappy black heel.
No to all of it. It’s just “meh” to me, and that’s hard to achieve with a peacock design.
She also looks kind of unsteady, like she’s about to fall over. Maybe it’s the aerodynamic shoes?
I like the dress a lot – is that Alexander McQueen?
The shoes, however… I’m pretty sure I remember those from some bad 90s teen movie.
My sister’s daft wee mongrel dog is called Boo-Urns. And she’s way cuter and more fun than this outfit.
What is it with all of these starlets wearing dresses from Zuul’s spring collection?
Um, I saw this exact same outfit last night on my run past the local children’s zoo. Except that the dress was actually a peacock.
I’m sure peacocks every where are annoyed that Alba is giving their colouring and feathers a bad name.
Ok, I saw this exact same outfit last night while I ran past my local childrens zoo.
Except that it was being worn by a peacock.
I’m confident peacocks everywhere are annoyed Ms. Alba is giving them a bad name.
This unfug reminds me of the SJP one in a separate post So right, but so wrong.
I like the dress and the hair, but I think the combo may be bothering me. However, I don’t think a formal updo would do anything for this dress. It needs to be casual…flapperesque.
Straighten the hair. yes.
This unfug reminds me of the SJP one in a separate post So right, but so wrong.
I like the dress and the hair, but I think the combo may be bothering me. However, I don’t think a formal updo would do anything for this dress. It needs to be casual…flapperesque.
Straighten the hair. yes.
All I want to say is, Dude, if I had a wearable peacock, I would wear the heck out of it!
I think that this dress would actually look better with the thicker straps and the v neckline. The spaghetti straps, straight across neckline and low-hanging loose fit make the dress look cheap and like a summer dress that my mum would wear to the grocery store. The shoulder feathers are too much and the shoes look trashy.
I’m sick of Jessica Alba and I do not approve of those shoes. Or, really, that hair. It looks like she’s been growing out a pixie cut for, like, a year. (Maybe she has? I don’t really pay attention to her.)
But I feel like the dress has potential. The colours are gorgeous. If somebody had done this sort of dress with a more expensive treatment and maybe a bit of flapper-style drop-waist flair, I could see really liking it. There might even be a place for some (carefully placed and sparingly chosen) feathers on its reincarnation.
The dress I can live with. The hair I don’t mind all that much. But the shoes have to go. Perhaps with Whoopi Goldberg’s Academy Awards dress from whenever it was. Last century?
Aha! I’ve just read some comments about the sports bra. I just thought it had two sets of straps. (Why? Who knows…..) That indicates to me that Ms Alba thought the dress not that good with just the straps. So maybe now I can’t live with the dress. Maybe at a costume party?
I like the dress OK, I’ve always been fond of teals, but it kinda feels a bit ahead of its time.
Maybe in the summer.
Or maybe it’s too retro /20′s / flapperish? With the short hair?
My god, who much do I LOVE this dress? If not the silly ho inside it. But I digress. Feathers, sparkles, sinister hues, if only it was a little longer. Hell, a lot longer, like dragging on the floor freaking everybody out with it’s suffocating amazingness. YOU GO GIRL! (the dress, not the awful alba).
Love the dress.
Like the hair.
Covet the shoes.
Can’t get over how in the ads for “Dark Angel” or whatever that nerd porn show she was in she always looked like she was about to burst into tears when it was evident she was supposed to be looking angry and angsty. I have never been a fan of the whimper face. So yeah…want to see this whole thing on someone else. How about Diane Kruger accompanied by Pacey fanning her with a fan of peacock feathers?
Darn it, i wanted to comment on the Queen Fugtoria because it looks like Sheldons (Big bang theory) “the doppler effect”- outfit from halloween
http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg314/clooless_photos/Miscellaneous%20wardrobe/6-3.jpg
Darn it, i wanted to comment on the Queen Fugtoria because it looks like Sheldons (Big bang theory) “the doppler effect”- outfit from halloween
http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg314/clooless_photos/Miscellaneous%20wardrobe/6-3.jpg
Boo to the sports bra. It ruins this.
Your all bloody mad!! The women looks stunning! And totally makes up for that awful yoke she wore the other day!
She looks like she was dressed simultaneously by both her personal trainer and synchronised swimming instructor and borrowed make-up tips from the Corrs circa 1995. Also – there had better be stolen goods clamped between her upper thighs. Otherwise she should know by now to use the loo before the leaving the house, if not the mirror.
This is a great look! Finally she looks different, her hair is finally interesting. The dress is pretty but I would choose other shoes with it. They fit too much to the colour of the dress.
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