Fug the Cover: Faith Hill

Holy cannoli, what did they do to Faith Hill? For one thing, this picture doesn’t even look like her. For another thing, I am concerned that at some point the makeup artist stepped aside to grab a latte or something and let a trainee from Chuckle’s Clown College and School of Face Art take over on those brows. And for a third…what happened to her hair? Like, I just saw her on Today the other morning (I have a weird fondness for Faith Hill that I believe dates to those two weeks ten years ago when I could not stop singing “This Kiss,” and now that I know that was TEN YEARS AGO, I have to go re-up my subscription for Geritol. Hold on.)

Okay, I’m back. What was I talking about? Oh, right: the hair. Yes. I just saw her on Today and her hair did NOT look like she picked it up off the street — in fact, she looked lovely, as usual — so I’m inclined to believe that whoever styled her for this shoot has a raging crush on Tim McGraw and will STOP AT NOTHING to have him, even if that means making poor Faith Hill look like she’s wearing a labradoodle. Clearly, said love-crazed stylist needs to read both about the star’s best beauty tricks AND the article about what Kenny Chesney learned about love. Because as far as I know, love means never defacing the object of your affection’s wife’s hair. Sure, it’s not as catchy as some other truisms, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a fact.