Fug the Cover: Gwyneth Paltrow

We just got an email about this cover from a reader, who noted that she’s totally going to wear this into work tomorrow. Which is funny, because I wore my quasi-doublet and my shortie pantaloons YESTERDAY.  The thing is, I get that this is “THE FASHION ISSUE” and ergo the cover must be devoted, not to fashion or even Fashion, but to FASHION, which leads to….you know, boxer shorts-esque shortie short bloomers and a half-fantastic/half-inspired-by Mickey-Mouse-ears jacket that is one of those things where you’re like, “yes, I grasp the fabulousness while also recognizing that it’s kind of ridiculous and literally no one, NO ONE could wear this for real ever and therefore it sort of has no point and is like the clothing version of a tree not making sound if it falls in the woods and there’s no one to hear it,” but my question is, if you’re going to be putting someone in your Tree Falling In the Woods outfit, wouldn’t you rather have, like, Linda Evangelista? At the very least, she could pose without losing her neck.