Fug the Cover: Mary-Kate Olsen

Oops, Fashion magazine — because if Mary-Kate really “can’t stand looking like everybody else,” then she’s probably going to hate this cover, in which she looks like: a) a fairly generic, if still pretty, tousled blonde with dark eye makeup wearing a boring white sweater; b) the Joker before he’s applied his makeup for his daily fear-mongering rampage; and c) an actress who’s had so much collagen shot into the skin under her nose that one might assume a duck bill had been implanted in there surgically. Now, I realize the quote probably means she hates DRESSING like everyone else — which means she must be irate that the likes of Shenae Grimes and flame-haired fame-whoring doofus Phoebe Price have taken to wearing shredded, homeless-looking leggings, since M-K gets credit for first plucking that style from Zoolander and turning it into a fug phenomenon — but it’s also still kind of a weird choice for the cover from a girl who has a near-clone as a twin. You know Ashley’s going to run across this cover and think, “Wait, is THAT why she never gets up to watch Full House with me during the early-morning reruns? I always thought she just hated my popcorn,” and then we might be barreling toward a massive miscommunication and subsequent twin estrangement that not even the soothing touch of John Stamos can mend, and then where will we be? LOOK WHAT YOU’VE MAYBE DONE, FASHION MAGAZINE. I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF.