Fug the Cover: Rachel McAdams

When I saw this cover on the newsstand, I actually stopped in my tracks and thought, “So Katie Holmes FINALLY grew out her hair and went full zombie?!?”

But no, it’s just poor, pretty Rachel McAdams, trying very hard not to look like herself because she’s being forced to stare down the camera with crazy eyes — as if her advertised “lusty side” involves rooting through your garbage, finding stubs of incense you burn that she rubs on her skin so she can smell like you, showing up unannounced on your front door clothed only in In N Out wrappers because she’s followed you there five times and knows you like it, and then suggesting she will only be truly happy if she can suck on a popsicle made of your left foot and wear your skin as pajamas.