Fuga Reid

[Photo: infdaily.com]

TARA: Roberto!

ROBERTO CAVALLI: Aiiiii, it’s you, Blond Person! That party girl! Lindsay!

TARA: No, ha ha, no, you’re… no.

ROBERTO: Your denials entice me. Are you the pregnant one?

TARA: Um, I… Nicole Richie? No. It’s…

CAVALLI: ARE YOU SURE? We are touching. I must know. Fetuses are so hot right now!

TARA: Yeah, I think so. I mean, yes. I’m not Nicole Richie.

CAVALLI:  I can see it: Fetus hats, RESPLENDENT in my fall 2008 collection. Vests made of diapers. God, it’s divine. WHERE is my moisturizer?

TARA: It’s Tara Reid, Roberto. I was — shit, I AM — an actress. Are you listening? Dammit, I was sure this would work.

CAVALLI: Do not swear at me, stage jockey, or I’ll be compelled to wonder if I should take my sunglasses off and shift away from your earlobe.

TARA: Listen, it doesn’t matter, I just really love you and I’m happy to be here, and it’s amazing that you’re allowing yourself to be seen…

CAVALLI: And you’re not pregnant? It’s just a really bad dress?

TARA: I guess so, yeah, it’s…

CAVALLI: Then it is time, Anonymous Blonde.

TARA: Time for what?

CAVALLI: SMOKE IT.

TARA: I’m not sure what you…

[Photo: infdaily.com]

TARA: OW! I… ca… heeee…

CAVALLI: YES, be sullied! Smoke it like a forest fire that only YOU can prevent! You really should have worn a bra.

TARA: I never thought I’d say this, but can I stop now? We’re being watched.

CAVALLI: It’s what you wanted, pet strumpet. Stop whining. I’ll send you a pair of embryo pumps from next season.