Fuga Palmer-Tomkinson

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson is known primarily on this side of the pond as being That British
Lady Who Needs To Eat And Doesn’t Do Anything Except Be Tan And Naked.

And, for the moment, That British Lady Whose Photo Is Not Safe For Work:

I guess I have to admire her commitment: The woman is devoted to all things sheer. But here’s the problem: I already HAVE a folder in my brain labeled British Person Who Needs To Eat and Doesn’t Do Anything Except Be Tan And Naked, and the pictures stowed inside are of Lady Victoria Hervey. This is needless confusion among pointless foreign celebrities. Can’t one of them adopt a new shtick? Because otherwise, they’re going to decide that the only way to distinguish themselves on this side of the pond is to get an E! reality show (Hanging Out With The Herveys! Pimp My Palmer-Tomkinsons!) or go on Dancing With The Stars,  and either way, that is going to add up to way more column inches in Us Weekly than I’m prepared to sift through.