[All photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]
SPENCER: Oh, gee, is that photographer here for US?
HEIDI: What a surprise! All I was doing was shopping here in this magical 99-Cent Store!
SPENCER: We’re just keeping it real in our dark economic times!
HEIDI: Clearly you would not have worn pants that look like they’re belted around your ass crack if we’d KNOWN the paparazzi would be here!
SPENCER: Hey, wait a second, lady. I’m buying you roses in the middle of a RECESSION. We haven’t been paid for an Us Weekly cover about your weeping relatives in, like, a MONTH. Lay off my pants.
HEIDI: It’s okay, honey! It works. We’re being sensitive and downtrodden today, remember?
SPENCER: Living off a seven-figure salary is just so HARD, and we just wanted to
show the peasants we’re suffering too, but all this photographer wants
to do is take twenty pictures of us. Let’s just go about our natural shopping and pretend they’re not there documenting our every sacrifice, okay? Come on…
HEIDI: You are so precious to me in your economically sensible tie.
SPENCER: Do you think this will get us a raise from MTV?
HEIDI: I hope so — I don’t know how they expect us to pay for our
upcoming lavish wedding if we’re each only allegedly pocketing a million-plus per season.
SPENCER: It’s SLAVE LABOR.
HEIDI: Maybe people will start a donation fund. Like that movie where
the cop gives the waitress a two-million-dollar tip and then they lose
everything in his divorce, but they remain so kind that the newspaper
writer pretending to be a homeless man profiles their courage and
everyone sends in cash. And people’s delight in their tender love rakes
in another six figures.
SPENCER: Well, I am nothing if not courageous, to be here in this
99-Cent Store just trying to support my woman. Fire up the love, baby.
HEIDI: You are so romantic. All we need is this loaf of bread, for 99 cents, to be truly happy.
SPENCER: But we also need some inexpensive Valentine’s Day supplies, because times are too tough for me to spoil you the way I want to — until next week, when someone pays us to have a picnic in public where I give you some Louboutins. I wonder, by some miracle, if we could find anything festive here.
SPENCER: Say cheese! Look happy to be saving money!
HEIDI: Don’t block my light.
SPENCER: I think we’re done here.
HEIDI: America is going to love us. This was a stroke of GENIUS…
SPENCER: Ahem.
HEIDI: Um, I mean, a PURELY ACCIDENTAL moment of genuine tender struggle mixed with joy.
SPENCER: Much better.
When High Slit Dresses Backfire... – Huffington Post
Fugcer and Fugdi
[All photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]
SPENCER: Oh, gee, is that photographer here for US?
HEIDI: What a surprise! All I was doing was shopping here in this magical 99-Cent Store!
SPENCER: We’re just keeping it real in our dark economic times!
HEIDI: Clearly you would not have worn pants that look like they’re belted around your ass crack if we’d KNOWN the paparazzi would be here!
SPENCER: Hey, wait a second, lady. I’m buying you roses in the middle of a RECESSION. We haven’t been paid for an Us Weekly cover about your weeping relatives in, like, a MONTH. Lay off my pants.
HEIDI: It’s okay, honey! It works. We’re being sensitive and downtrodden today, remember?
SPENCER: Living off a seven-figure salary is just so HARD, and we just wanted to
show the peasants we’re suffering too, but all this photographer wants
to do is take twenty pictures of us. Let’s just go about our natural shopping and pretend they’re not there documenting our every sacrifice, okay? Come on…
HEIDI: You are so precious to me in your economically sensible tie.
SPENCER: Do you think this will get us a raise from MTV?
HEIDI: I hope so — I don’t know how they expect us to pay for our
upcoming lavish wedding if we’re each only allegedly pocketing a million-plus per season.
SPENCER: It’s SLAVE LABOR.
HEIDI: Maybe people will start a donation fund. Like that movie where
the cop gives the waitress a two-million-dollar tip and then they lose
everything in his divorce, but they remain so kind that the newspaper
writer pretending to be a homeless man profiles their courage and
everyone sends in cash. And people’s delight in their tender love rakes
in another six figures.
SPENCER: Well, I am nothing if not courageous, to be here in this
99-Cent Store just trying to support my woman. Fire up the love, baby.
HEIDI: You are so romantic. All we need is this loaf of bread, for 99 cents, to be truly happy.
SPENCER: But we also need some inexpensive Valentine’s Day supplies, because times are too tough for me to spoil you the way I want to — until next week, when someone pays us to have a picnic in public where I give you some Louboutins. I wonder, by some miracle, if we could find anything festive here.
SPENCER: Say cheese! Look happy to be saving money!
HEIDI: Don’t block my light.
SPENCER: I think we’re done here.
HEIDI: America is going to love us. This was a stroke of GENIUS…
SPENCER: Ahem.
HEIDI: Um, I mean, a PURELY ACCIDENTAL moment of genuine tender struggle mixed with joy.
SPENCER: Much better.
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