Fugcha Fugton

Ladies and gentlefuggers, I give you Ms. Mischa Barton, demonstrating the latest in tourniquet-chic:

[Photos courtesyof X17 Online.]

I have questions.

1) At what point in her day did she say, “What this torn white tank really needs is a plaid diaper”?

2) Could she please have a chat with her pelvic bone? It’s an awful camera-hog.

3) Does she travel with sanitary seat liners?

4) Don’t you think Marissa Cooper would have worn those shorts… as a hat?

5) When will somebody tell her being born with beautiful eyes, skin, and hair, and bedding a string of gnarly boyfriends, is not actually a strategy for defying gravity?

Sigh. I guess we should just be thankful she’s not parading around town with things tied around her head…

… Right?

Oh.

Huh.

Okay, one more question, then: When did “Modern-Day Flower Child With A Dash Of Bjorn Borg” become a personal style?