Fugdan

Oh, Jordan.

Of course you’re dressed like a bride as envisioned by the cast of Strictly Ballroom.  I expect you to start tangoing dramatically at any moment.

You know, there are celebrities who are so over-the-top with such regularity that their campiness becomes a delight — like Cher — and Jordan is one such celebrity for me.  As much as we mock her — and as easy as she is to mock — imagine how disappointing it would be if she showed up looking modest and understated. In fact, I challenge her to go bigger! Start wearing live birds in your hair, Jordan! Wear a skirt stitched together with Christmas lights that you can turn on and off with the flick of a switch attached to your right boob! Invest in a bodice made entirely of tinsel woven together with baby hair! Go big or go home!