Fugga Knightley

[Source.]

It’s been chilly in London lately, according to the weather reports. Does Keira Knightley really have enough body fat to trot around in tights under baggy shorts and not be freezing? And by asking, I’m being polite. Which is unusual for me. Because no mistake, I can see her legs. I could pick my teeth with them. I could stick one of them in a baking cake to decide if it’s done. I could use them to jimmy open a car door. There’s a box in my kitchen that contains a frying pan wrapped in newspaper, and it is better insulated.

In her honor, I am going to go make and eat a delicious sandwich, full of carbs and other flesh-wooing goodness. I wish she would do the same.