Fuggie Underwood

Carrie Underwood and her lovely hair showed up at the Today show this morning evidently thinking she was there to play Daisy Mae in an improvised modern-day retelling of Li’l Abner.

This is where I’d try to make a joke about updating the plot of Li’l Abner, but despite having been in it in ninth grade, all I can remember is that we sang a song by the name of “Jubilation T. Cornpone,” which will make a fine name for my firstborn child but isn’t terribly informative about the rest. However, I do remember finishing every rehearsal thinking, “I hope my family never speaks of this again,” so I’m confident that if Ms. Underwood had ever seen Li’l Abner before, she would have stayed far, far away from any country-sweet milkmaid couture that make her an ideal candidate for a role in Dogpatch, U.S.A.