“YOU’RE WELCOME, WORLD.”
“LIL’ WEST DID HIS BEST ON THIS UTERINE TEST, AND MADE A MEGA-BABY IN MY LADY’S LOVE NEST. SO WATCH OUT, BEY AND JAY, ‘CAUSE BLUE’S ABOUT TO GET PLAYED: TINY KANYE’S JOINING THE FRAY AND IT’S GONNA HAVE ITS DAY, WE’LL SEE SOME FIFTY SHADES OF YAY, AND MAYBE IT’LL BE BORN IN MAY DEPENDING ON WHEN WE DID LAY, AND BY THEN I HOPE SHE’S A DIVORCEE BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO TELL MY KID THAT MOMMY IS MARRIED TO SOME FOOL CAVEMAN FROM THE NETS. BUT MY OTHER GIFT TO THE WORLD IS THE MATERNITY WARDROBE THAT KIM’S GONNA PROCURE — YOU REST ASSURED IT’S NOT GONNA BE DEMURE LIKE RAYMOND BURR, IT MIGHT EVEN BE IMPURE LIKE A SEX TOY’S WHIRR, BUT IT’S ALL GONNA LOOK MAGICAL ON HER SO DON’T SAY ANYTHING BAD OR ELSE GRRRR.
“ALTHOUGH…”
“LET’S BE REAL: THIS SHIT IS RIDICULOUS. WORST. FISHING TRIP. EVER.”
