Fugkira

I was less prolific in my coffee-shop exile because I was so concerned that the blinding light would lead me to write all about what a heinous orange suit someone is wearing, and then a reader will e-mail me to point out that it’s actually a white cardigan. Fortunately, a) my home Internet is working — thank you, AT&T; we are in love again — and b) I saw Shakira’s Saturday Night Live performance outfit on my home TV, with unscorched retinas, and I can confirm that yes, it DOES seem like she glued giant shoulder pads to her hips:

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

GLITTERING shoulder pads, no less. Maybe her hips started lying, after all, and so she’s desperately trying to hide that fact from from America’s eagle eyes. All I know is, I’m laying 3-1 odds on Johnny Weir wearing this exact outfit at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.