Paula Patton wore this the day after she donned this recently fugged number, so clearly it was a very heady and crazy time for her. I look forward to the day her cheesy husband Robin Thicke writes an irritating slow jam all about watching her get dressed in crazy stuff and wanting to stop her.
Perhaps in person this was ravishing, and the photo doesn’t do it justice, but when I saw it I shuddered:
She looks thoroughly upholstered. Between the sleeve and the matching handbag****, it’s a LOT of pattern. I’m going to start calling her Paula Pattern. HA. HILARITY. I will pause while you stitch back together your splitting sides.
**** Well, hot damn, my eyes deceived me, it IS a ruffle. I thought it was a clutch she was holding vertically. That … well, it’s still too much, like the dress has a floral tongue.
Maybe not much can be done that isn’t pure fantasy, but I think the entire thing would be improved vastly without the sleeve and with a clutch that evokes the color of the shoes. Or even ANY solid color. I feel like the floral is salvageable, but she just needs it to be less aggressive on the left half of her body. After a while it starts to look a bit like cheerful gangrene.
What would you do? Add a second sleeve? Change the neckline altogether? Keep the mono-sleeve but change its shape? Nothing? Everything? Chat it up in the comments. Keep it on-topic, keep it clean, keep it friendly, keep the faith, love will keep us together.
Comments (171):
I don’t think that’s a matching purse, I think it’s more ruffles?
I don’t think that’s a handbag – so much as dangling fabric. Either way, sofa.
I don’t hate the print. I do hate the drape, though. It looks like it would benefit from a simpler neckline. I’ll take two sleeves or none (am I the only one who is OVER the one-sleeve thing? someday that and vessel sinks are going to look like the leisure suits and harvest gold appliances of this era.) and a cute red clutch. Lose the ugly belt, give her a little lipgloss and I’m there.
I don’t think it’s a purse. I think it’s a side drape from the ruching. I’d take off the long sleeve and tone down the pattern. It looks like a good idea that didn’t know when to say when.
Not a purse — it’s a ruffle. I actually kind of like this. It’s be better strapless, though.
Agreed on the fact that she looks like she’s wearing a pair of heavy drapes, the floral is coming off as a little too musty. Also, are you sure that’s a matching handbag and not one of those side-tail things similar to Kristen Bell’s Marchesa dress the other day? If so, HACK IT OFF. I’d also like to lose the similar matching hanky that is limply hanging from her bosom area. I think I would be better with it then but really happy if it were a solid color. Overall pattern + ruching seems to be a bit much.
First off, makeup and hair is amazeballs.
Ditch the sleeve and I don’t think that’s a handbag, it’s a drape of some sort? Whatever it is cut it off. Then you have a cute, somewhat kitschy floral mini. Go from there. Possibly go to a new belt from there. And maybe new shoes, because those are kinda fug. Also, *hate* tiny ankle straps. Why would you want to make your legs look shorter when there are plenty of (cuter) shoes that don’t do that?
Definitely just lose the sleeve and ruffle. It’d be cute as a strapless.
Oops! Fixed to reflect that I am crazy, and it is not a clutch. Thanks!
Definitely in the camp that thinks it’s a ruffle..I’d lose the sleeve and the ruffle, keep the pattern but just make it a straight-up cocktail dress with a cool print, a little gathering a nice belt.
What is with the one-sleeve? I’ve never seen it work…
Love her shoes and make-up though.
Cut off the sleeve and side tail thinggie.
Wow, I didn’t even notice the belt. Why is it there? It’s not necessary and just gets lost. I agree that its a drapey thing, not a clutch. Cut it off, cut off the sleeve (I’m not a huge fan of the one-shoulder thing, but it would be okay with this), and I think it would be cute, cute! Don’t love the shoes, but considering the outfit as a whole, they’re innocent enough.
I logged in to say “there’s a purse?” but I see the subject has been thoroughly covered.
Off with the side drape!
At the first quick glance the pattern looked okay but it does NOT grow on you.
I liked the shoes.
I don’t think that’s a purse…..I think it’s some hanging piece of fabric attached to the dress. Which, theoretically, is worse, because she can’t actually PUT IT DOWN AND WALK AWAY FROM IT like she could a bag. The entire thing makes me shudder.
Lose the purse/extra fabric. Lose the ankle strap on the shoes. Give her a dark gold/bronze belt instead of the black one, and give her a clutch that coordinates with the belt or the shoes or both. And make the dress strapless or square-necked with cap sleeves. Two of them.
It’s not a handbag, but it’d be hilarious if it was.
I actually really like the pattern. Make it a fitted strapless (and sleeveless) cocktail dress sans draping and we’re good. Strappy sandals or peep-toe heels would be preferable but not essential.
I also think, although a slippery slope with a busy pattern like this, she could go for slightly bigger (danglier?) earrings.
Strapless and without that weird drape/handbag thing (I probably looked at this for a solid minute before I understood that the hanging thing was a drape/handbag and not part of the dress….) and this dress would be amazing. But also that belt…I don’t know I’m not sold on it.
Without the sleeve (I hate to admitt that strapless would be a better look here) and without all the loose ends. The one drooping down her chest and the other dribbling off her hip (not a handbag) need to go. Then a bag that matches the cute shoes, and Bob’s your uncle.
I actually really like most of this. Those shoes especially, I need a pair in every color. However, are we sure this is a matching purse and not a sort of, unnecessary flouncy bit on the skirt? Either way, it needs to go. It needs to be strapless, and she needs her hair down.
DK – totally agreed on the metallic belt idea!
Maggie – totally agreed on the hair down! Not that she doesn’t look beautiful.
@japooka, I am also SO OVER the one-sleeve thing. And fedoras, but that’s a subject for another day. Get rid of the sleeve and make the dress strapless.
The more I look at that print, the more it looks like what can happen after a long night of Italian food and too much wine. So in addition to lopping off the sleeve and that hangy thing, make the dress a rich solid color, lose the belt, and we’re in business.
Lose the sleeve and the misguided ruffle. She’s so pretty I can even stand the print.
Ditch the sleeve and the ruffle and you’re good to go…. with a cute sandal instead of a closed toe shoe.
I think I hate the ruffle. And the sleeve. Maybe a wider belt? Love the shoes.
Nothing will save this dress but I’m partial to her shoes. (Am I showing my age by saying “partial”?)
For this much pattern, the dress needs to be much more fitted. It looks loose and lumpy on her. The draping effect only works well with solids. This needs to be a fitted, strapless number with a different belt. The belt she has looks like it was thrown on at the last minute. Maybe a patent SKINNY belt would do it. I want the whole dress to be form-fitting though, showing her curves instead of obscuring them in weird draping patterns.
You know, it’s totally not that bad. Just lose the sleeve and you’re all set.
I kinda like the pattern. Just get rid of the sleeve and the side drape and it would be really cute. She’s got great skin and the shoes are supah, so that’ it. BTW, the only mono sleeve look that really works is a strap. Anything else just looks stupid.
I am pretty sure I wore a bubble dress with a print like that to a middle school dance in 1991. It screams late 80s Laura Ashley.
My first reaction on seeing this was “Oh! They’re reviving the Road pictures, and she’s got the Dorothy Lamour part. I wonder who they’re going to cast as Hope and Crosby?”
But apparently that is not so.
I cringe at the sight of prints, particularly large floral prints. They make their wearer look much too large, even when (as in this case) she is a normal healthy adequately-fleshed young woman.
I say, start over.
Although the trailing ruffle might work if the rest of the dress were simpler.
strapless, longer/fitted skirt, solid clutch, hair down and flowing
Keep the shoes, burn the dress.
Nude shoes, hair down, shorter sleeve.
Make it strapless, let the pattern do the heavy lifting, and give this girl some earrings and a cute clutch (maybe metallic?), stat!
Is it just me, or doesn’t the one-sleeve/draping thing make it look like she’s wearing half a jacket?
Lose the sleeve and the ruffle. STAT.
Call me crazy, but get rid of the ruffle, and I would love it.
I think I’d lose the sleeve, but keep the strap on the shoulder. Also lose the ruffle. And I think I want her belt to match her shoes. I really like the print though.
Strapless, and I’m in love. Also, someone should take note that THIS is how you do a nude lip.
Change the print completely, make it navy or taupe. The shoes are good but make them black if the dress is navy so they’re not too matchy with the dress. Or if the dress is taupe, make the belt navy and keep the shoes navy and give it a black clutch, so it’s not too matchy matchy again. Get rid of that stupid sleeve, one shoulder is good or completely strapless, and get rid of that stupid ruffle.
? SLEEVE.
? ruffle drip.
? belt.
Everything [abovenoted] Must Go.
as far as the pattern, it’s like when you eat something RLY RLY spicy? so you have to cut it w/ a palette cleanser? sorbet or a good unsliced bread [say]?
she needs a palette cleanser to go w/ the vegan technicolor habañero miniskirted [& now sleeve- & ruffleless] chimichanga business she’s wearing [after having divested it from her sofa].
add a jacket & a bag both similar, but to none identical, in hue & concept to the shoes & she’d look better.
i like the shoes.
i hate the hair.
it makes her look like henry rollins.
also, i’d banish singular SLEEVE from EVERYone forEVER;
thanx.
I had not even scrolled halfway down the photo before thinking “Why is she wearing my aunt’s couch?”
A little of this pattern goes a long way. Is that crushed velveteen, too? I don’t hate it, but I am overwhelmed with it.
This one sleeve thing is just not working out — go strapless or go home. A solid clutch, maybe a solid colored wrap if she’s chilly, a solid color belt instead of the matching ruffle/apron/napkin/kleenex thing. And maybe a tad less ruching/gathering/wadding-up-and-stapling-in-place-ing.
Okay, I agree with Heather. Loose the other sleeve and most certainly the ruffle/clutch/wtf? Add a simple necklace and pull atleast half of her hair down. Done!
xoxo
oh–henry rollins.
same size head & neck.
Agree with the above commenter about the one-sleeve plague. That’s a fad I’ll be happy to see end.
Lose the sleeve and either leave it sleeveless or put on some narrow straps. Lose the belt – if it needs to be belted, use something softer than that harsh little black line. Lose the ruffle – maybe make a second sleeve out of it.
The pattern is still a little glaring but I could live with it.
make is strapless and lose the hanging ruffle, but i rather like the pattern and colors. as is though, it’s just a whole lotta look.
I think this would be cute strapless, and with a different belt. (Does it even need a belt? Isn’t there enough going on already?) Oh yeah — and without that ruffle, too.
I love this, and want it delivered to my house now so I can wear it while washing the nappies.
i think my main issue is i’m really just over the one arm bare, one arm with a full long sleeve. and the pattern is just kind of… too much. and the ruffle. fug, me thinks…
This would be super cute if it you just ripped off the sleeve past her shoulder, and got rid of the ruffle. Or even made it a short sleeved one armed dress. voila. also, amazing shoes.
On the one hand, the ruffle helps to balance the sleeve visually, so from a few steps back it looks less…shoulder heavy.
On the other hand, that construction looks like ass, especially with that kind of pattern.
The pattern itself isn’t horrible and the construction of the dress body is fine. It fits her and the shoes are cute, so I’d just hack off the sleeve and ruffle and make it a sleeveless cocktail dress.
Just make both halves exactly like the right have, the tripple the width of the belt and add a black clutch, it would be bright and cheery, a bit busy but still fun and different.
At first I was all, “NOOOOO.” But the pattern isn’t so bad once I looked at it for a while. Can’t. Look. Away.
But seriously, lose the sleeve and ruffle. Make it a simple strapless dress and top it with a cute little jacket. I was going to say black, but I really like those shoes and would love to see a jacket in the same color.
Burn it. It reminds me of that terrible Robin Williams movie What Dreams May Come in dress form. And I would rather never be reminded of that movie (which I haven’t seen, but still…) in any format.
Strapless without the ruffle would be a fabulous start.
I almost want the pattern to be limited to either the top or the bottom, or for the dress to be mostly a solid with the pattern used sparingly – say in a skirt-slit or something.
1. Lose single sleeve, add the other shoulder.
2. Lose side ruffle or lengthen dress to the knee so that there’s an equal amount of skirt and flourish.
3. Soften hair or add dangly earings.
4. Wear an entirely different dress.
I actually like the pattern on her but…
Make this into a one piece dress with a wide belt matching the dark blue color of the shoes;
Drop the assymetrical sleeve/sleeveless design and drop the hip sash, but leave some assymetry by keeping the shoulder sash.
Unless it’s a wedding/engagement ring change to match well with the new wider belt, shoes, and, what the heck, add some button earrings.
I think this would be fine if we could just remove the sleeve and the weird ruffle/tongue. Then it would be fun and colorful, but without the crazy.
the pattern is ugly… but she is married to hottie hot Robin Thicke… and she was super preggers like 3 months ago… so she’s not in full style mode. hell, Gwen Stefani’s youngest is 1 and she wore day-glo harem pants last week… give her time…
just burn the whole thing. Hurts my eyes.
Cut off the sleave and the hanging mess of fabric and I would buy this dress. I love the shoes, but would rather make the colors punch with a bright yellow or orange pump with matching clutch. The belt can take a hike.
To salvage this, she needs to choose between the design of the dress or the fabric. I am a sucker for prints, so I don’t mind the fabric, but it needs a simpler silhoutte. Maybe a sleeveless or cap-sleeve dress similar in shape to this one, with a V-neck. If we decide we like the one-armed look (which I am already SICK of after seeing on every starlet for 3 weeks straight), go for a solid fabric and lose the ruffle and the belt.
lose the sleeve so it’s strapless, wear a thicker, black belt, black shoes, black bag. and no ankle strap shoes!
Personally, I like the fabric, the thin belt, and purple suede Mary Janes. I’m not one for strapless, so turn the fabric tounge into a strap for the right side, and remove the Single Sleeve of Doom.
What bothers me most is her severe, slicked-back hair. What, did she just emerge from the pool? Put a pretty coif upstairs, and some drop or button earrings. (Along with single sleeves and pork-pie hats, can we also get rid of open toe boots and booties? Please?)
I honestly think it would be cute if it were strapless and the “tongue” wasn’t there. I would also get rid of the boring shoes and put on some patent leather wedges or something of the kind.
Cut off the sleeve and the ruffle. Maybe add a much wider belt. That’s really all there is to it! The pattern is still reminiscent of Grandma’s sofa, but at least it would only then be half the sofa…
Oh, honey no. New dress, stat. She looks like she’s been UPHOLSTERED.
Skirt in pattern only, lose the tongue, solid top with two sleeves–what IS this trend of sewing amputation and when will it go away?!
Didn’t Dorothy Lamour wear that outfit in “The Road to Pago Pago”?
I like it.
I think this would look really pretty without the one-sleeve-look. It would look so girly and fun without that going on.
And also, either the side, dangly ruffle or the belt, but not both.
And okay, also, I feel like she went too matchy-matchy with the shoes. They’re great shoes! But not with that. I say black patent leather peep toes.
But she can really do whatever she wants to do because her husband is perfect (not cheesy!).
Drapes for my upstairs bedroom. Definitely.
Oh, and when she’s done with that, she’ll need something new to wear.
This is some sort of dress version of a mullet: PARTY on one side…. GARDEN PARTY on the other.
Like the other kind of mullet, it just needs to MAKE UP ITS MIND and go one way or t’other, though if it goes that right-hand garden party way, definitely lose the droopy tongue thing. JUST CARRY A HANDKERCHIEF.
Into the fire go the sleeve and its shoulder joint, the belt, and the ‘ruffle’. Some tinted lip gloss, a lil spritz of scent, voy-LAH.
Count me as yet another resounding vote of NO MORE ONE SLEEVENESS. Enough posters have nixed the fabric tongue and the belt, so I’ll consider them gone.
While I’m not loving the print (looks like a bad accident on Impressionism Avenue), I AM loving the hair, makeup, SHOES. Just add an appropriate clutch and we’re good to go on that score.
So, we make the dress into a nice, solid color. I’d even love a medium shell or pearl pink, if you all didn’t think it was too weddingy. We can keep a little draping, make the dress strapless, but (here’s the genius part) give her a cute little self fabric bolero. Problems solved.
Can’t we all just get along?
The floral cannot be saved. And one sleeved dresses are for one-armed people.
Um, (tiny voice) I like it. At least, I would sans ruffle. It’s bright, but the colors suits her and the shoes are lovely with it. I don’t mind the asymmetry either.
Just call me Chloe and stick a skortsuit on me, somebody.
Actually, I love the dress AS IT. I wish the shoes were just a titch paler, but I know how it is matching things from different stores and such, sometimes “good enough” is. =)
Lose the sleeve. Lose the ruffle. Keep the one-shoulder, but in a sheer version of the same fabric. I loooove this fabric – it’s very late ’50s vintage store find. Deep red velvet clutch to top it all off. Voila.
I like the pattern. The colors are beautiful against her skin and I’ll bet she looked striking under the lights. That said, lose the sleeve, the belt and the draping and make it a simple strapless.
I know I’m probably nuts, but I think this would be cuter if the sleeve was on the *other* arm.
That, or ditch the ruffle, go two sleeves or strapless, and get a wide belt (if you must have one at all).
As far as floral patterns go, you could do a lot worse, and it goes with her skin tone and all, but still…it’s a floral pattern. It’s a nice pattern for an armchair or curtains or something, but honestly, it looks like something a stylish grandma would wear. Stylish because it’s a cool pattern and not your usual pink-and-green flowers/leaves, but grandma because it is still, in fact, a floral pattern.
It would be a *little* better if it were strapless all the way around, and if they’d left off the tongue thing, but really, in the end you’re going to have to do something about that pattern.
I…kind of like it.
Well the dress per se is not too bad even with the extra sleeve and ruffle. It’s just that the pattern is so ugly and the colours so twee. And there’s no help from the backdrop is there? It might even look better if the backdrop was plain black.
i love it. sort of. the ruffle is….wacky.
I would lose the belt and the ruffle and the sleeve and gather it a little on one hip to make it look more like a sarong or something. Imagine the sweet possibilities for accessories!
Though I don´t really mind that the dress looks a bit like an expressionist painting (the colors look great on her), the material of the dress and her hair seem rather stiff to me. If the dress could swing gently on the rhythm of her step while she walks and she´d have some loose curls, then she would look…jaunty? Arty?
Ditch the sleeve to make it strapless and take off the “fabric tounge”. Then it would be pretty cute.
Best looking drape dress since Tara made one
in “Gone With the Wind”
Oooh, I’ve been wondering what happened to the slipcover for my great grandmother’s chair.
That said…while I hate the pattern, I do not hate the silhouette completely although the draping of it is a bit bothersome. I think a solid color or even making it strapless would help immensely.
I don’t hate the pattern THAT much. With a simpler cut it could work, e.g. etui-style. Otherwise I don’t know this girls but she looks cute.
I think if the dress were strapless without any of the extra gunk hanging off it would be cute. That pattern is strong and needs to stand alone. She needs to learn that she’s pretty enough not to need a thousand extras and to have so much going on.
lose the ruffle, sweetheart sleeveless neckline. Then it would be lovely!
Nice simple sleeveless sheath, and it would be cute! (Sorry about the alliteration.)
Maybe she has a home-improvement fetish?
First window treatments (or an old-fashioned lampshade). Now upholstery. All that aged-maiden-aunt style.
Geriatric interior decorating!
Typo:
Should’ve been, “All in that aged-maiden-aunt style.”
Missed the “in”.
I love, love LOVE the pattern and colors BUT – there’s too much else going on for it to work. Lose the one-sleeve, the draping and the side-ruffle. Sleeved or sleeveless, if it were simple, I think this would rock.
The shoes are also too complicated to do this justice – she should give those shoes to someone.
And by someone I mean ME.
This ensemble brings to mind the whimsical print an aging, lower-middle class, British frump might wear to church–when she’s trying to impress the Vicar.
Taking that thought to it’s natural conclusion, I suggest that Miss Patton star in a revival of “The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie.”
(I descovered earlier today that the originator of this role, the brilliant Maggie Smith, has been fighting cancer for several years, perhaps La Brodie is on my mind.)
In this post-modern production of “Brodie,” Miss Patton would wear ONLY loud, garish, floral prints like the one she models here. Each look would feature a strange “one-sleeve” or “hanging tongue” or “hanging chad” or “bustle ruffle” — something that is just a bit “off.” and makes no sense. This type of costume design would help further the playwrite’s general tone of pre-WWII insanity, when everything WAS just a little “off.”
Oh MY! Well, well!
I just looked up Miss patotn on IMDB and I see that she was in “Precious” which I SAW the last night of Sundance this past Winter. Let me tell you, dear FUG readers, that this is a film NOT to be missed.
Now I have a new-found confidence that Miss Patton CAN handle the role of Jean Brodie in my imagined production. She was FINE in the film. When I first suggested this casting choice, it was with a modicum of irony, but knowing that she was a part of “Precious” now I seriously believe she could pull off the role.
I look forward to the previews in New Haven.
I can only process that much pattern in smaller doses! I’d prefer restricting it to a skirt, and then donning a solid color top, maybe in a dark royal blue.
And can we please free her hair from that unflattering bump?
Btw I agree with Black Eyed Kid’s assessment that it reminds of What Dreams May Come. Not sure why, but it really does! I instantly understood what you were talking about.
The fabric is fun, but the styling is toooo much!
Lose the ruching, the drapes, the belt, the what have yous, and that useless sleeve.
Simple, strapless cocktail dress in that fun fabric. Keep the shoes.
Then add a large hat, a bling-sized bracelet.
And let the hair down to add wildness.
Tra la la la.
I never would have thought I’d find myself liking these sorts of patterns, but I kinda do…
If if was a simple strapless, without the ruffles I think it could work. And add a wide black belt to break it up a bit.
Well, ghastly obviously – although I have to say – fabulous shoes!
I love this pattern! She totally gets away with it in my opinion because of her skin tone. I actually would look like a sofa in it. It would have been really cute as a strapless dress though.
loose the ruffle (I know, not original by now) and loose the belt, but 2 sleeves instead of one; shoes are perfect.
I fell getting out of the tub a few months ago. (Don’t ask.) While I did not break my arm, thank goodness, in the following days my arm turned roughly the same number of shades as this poor girl’s dress. The upside was that I got to spend about 20 minutes having my armed examined by one extremely hot surgeon. Someone should inform her that there’s no HMO plan to cover this mess.
i’m so glad this is a “fixit” post! this dress has potential, i like the colors and print BUT:
1: it should be kept short but minus the belt & ruffle, and strapless.
OR
2: floor length, minus the belt & sleeve again but keep the one shoulder and the ruffle.
This would be pretty as a strapless dress and minus the ruffle. A skinny belt in the same blue suede as her shoes would finish the look.
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Mam wielk? pro?b?, bo w?a?nie planuj? zrobi? blog zbli?ony do Twojego. Napisz, prosz?, jak si? uchroni? przed spamerskimi postami, bo ziomek mi mówi?, ?e to najwi?kszy problem… Z góry merci. A tak generalnie, to rewelacyjnie piszesz
. Pozdrawiam.
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Whenever I come to your blog now, the text looks really small. Did you change something with your design? I can’t read the type when it’s like this. Please advise, I don’t want to miss your great posts! Thanks.