Fuglie Bax

I haven’t seen much of Kylie Bax in a long time. In fact, apart from her being a model who shares a name with Kylie Minogue, I haven’t thought much about her at all.

Apparently, I should have, because judging by that hairdo she’s been stuck in a wind tunnel since about 2002. Maybe if someone had rescued her sooner, she would look less waxy and crazy-eyed. Seriously, after seeing this picture, I was stunned to learn that she’s allegedly only 32 — although, the Bingo Night finery she’s wearing admittedly doesn’t help. But it seems strange that all of a sudden, a model best known for one of the most explicit Playboy shoots in history now appears best suited to being Candice Bergen’s stand-in on Boston Legal (which, by the way, I first wrote as Boston Public by accident; got a fetish, there, David E. Kelley? What’s next? Boston Diner? Boston Transpo? Or, in an advertiser’s wet dream, Boston Pottery Barn?).

Someone should throw Kylie a bone here, given her plight. Isn’t it about time for Murphy Brown: The Musical? You’d save a mint on hair and makeup — it’s all right there.