Fuglin Rouge

Wait a second.

We finally get Keith Urban in a suit — a REAL one that doesn’t calculatedly expose his baby-smooth, greased-up pectorals — and Nicole Kidman honors the occasion with a dress whose color scheme more befits an airport-souvenir-stand shot glass that screams, “I Love Miami”? That is MESSED UP, Nicole. I don’t care if you love Miami. I don’t care if you sing, from memory, the song extolling their home city that Dorothy and Rose wrote and performed on that one episode of The Golden Girls. That doesn’t change the fact that the dress is really… well, it’s ugly, Nicole. It is. And it makes you look like you haven’t eaten in six months. I’m so sorry you accidentally wore a see-through dress the other week, but seriously, did you have to bounce back by running straight to a neon assault on nature? COME BACK TO US.