Fugliwood

So, at this point, even though I watch The Hills (the world’s most uneventful show, considering its soapy reputation, although Lauren Conrad should seriously reconsider the way she lets them portray her — she and Lo come off terribly bratty lately), I am ALSO really sick of it and wish it and its cast would go away for a while so we could see if we miss them.

Tops on the “Please Just STOP” list is Heidi Montag. Not only did she finagle her way to the White House Correspondents’
Dinner (along with her apparent physical idol, Pamela Anderson), but
she somehow got herself on Letterman. And what did she choose to wear? Why, a filmy slip that’s falling off and exposing her bra, of course.

[Photo: Splash News]

With the slip, strap, thrust-out chest and gladiator booties — which I accidentally typed first as “gladiator boobies,” which actually is also eerily accurate, and might be how I refer to her in my head from now on — this all feels a bit like Heidi is auditioning for the Victoria’s Secret catalog. Although it would also make an excellent Paris Hilton costume for Halloween, as the whole thing has the kind of inexpensive and tarty ring of a line of nighties P.Hil might “design” and hawk at Wal-Mart or something. But if you are an overexposed and annoying reality star, it’s probably a good rule of thumb NOT to to strut around town evoking a reality star
who is even MORE overexposed and annoying than you are. But then again, nobody ever accused Heidi of making great decisions (ahem, Spencer).

Also, with a recent history of being forced to listen both to Heidi blathering about L.C. and Spencer and sex tapes AND Paris Hilton puking up wooden platitudes about lessons learned in prison, I’m sort of shocked Dave hasn’t ripped of his ears and/or taken to dropping heavy furniture from a great height onto his talent bookers. Stay strong, Dave. Things have to get better. Right?