Fugly, Fugly Loaded

You guys, I’m worried that Lindsay is back on the sauce. Or something. Let’s talk about what happened at Matthew Williamson’s store opening party-thingy a few nights ago at Fashion Week. She showed up looking like this

:

She looks great, right? Okay, a little zonked out, but otherwise pretty sexy and fabulous. Which is why I think she has to be back on the sweet yam yam, because otherwise NO ONE should have been able to change out of this, and into THIS:

Yes, that is the dress hanging on the wall behind her in the first photograph, and, yes, in other photos you can see that it still has the security tag attached. I…don’t know why she thought this would be something she ought to be photographed in. She changed her hair, so she clearly did some primping, presumably in a dressing room equipped with a mirror, and….look, the dress itself is totally cute. But she looks….how shall I put this?  Not so magnificent. Lindsay looks both unwell and as though her nipples are mere moments from heading for the open bar. Rachel Zoe was at this party, and while we’ve certainly crabbed about The Zoe, by and large she is a good stylist. Why did she not throw herself in front of the cameras at this moment, so as to save Lilo from the sure-to-be-forthcoming simultaneous psychic wails from the media about how Lindsay looks in this frock? Unless this is part of a grand plan to force — come hell or high water — Lindsay to retain her services. In which case we say, you are a formidable opponent indeed, Zoe. Please just make sure you slide a sandwich in whatever fancy clutch purse you outfit the kid with first. Deal?