Fugright, Fug

Lily Allen looks about as excited by this outfit as I am.

Which is to say, she looks like somebody said, “Hey, Lily, either wear this outfit, or hang out at home having paper clips pounded into your nail beds by a meat tenderizer — your choice,” and now that she’s on the red carpet, she’s thinking, “Shit, I shouldn’t have picked door number one — maybe I’ll bolt early and swing by an office-supplies store.” And that is probably the same expression that would be on my face if I were caught outside in a very elaborate bathing-suit cover-up, looking like I’d been punched in both my eyes. But don’t fret, Lily — I’m pretty sure Lady Gaga has never done paper-clip fingernails, so at least you’ll have her beat on that.