Heroes: Fugians

Aug 11, 2008 By Jessica AT 11:16 am

I don’t think it’s particularly revolutionary of me to note that Heroes totally sucked last season. Everyone was in totally different countries (and TIMES) and every new character brought with it a new, terrible fake accent. But of all the developments that I hated — and there were many — I most hated Dania Ramirez, who traveled around with her brother accidentally killing people by crying black tears when she got mad, kind of like the Hulk meets the black-oily-eyed virus on The X-Files. Anyway, it was boring, and she was shrill and I spent the whole time wondering what Jack Coleman was up to and why I wasn’t spending any quality time with him anymore. So what I’m saying is that I have no patience for Dania and am not willing to cut her any slack here:

Don’t look so coy. We both know you’re wearing cuffed, capri, super high-waisted jeans, and by my count, that’s at least two trends too many. It’s a good things I can’t kill people when I cry, because this has got my eyes watering.
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